04/09/16
morning incoming greetings from susan...which self greet back..
susan mentioned she is going to work...
self saw it wrong...saw are you working...hence reply i didn't go back at bank...
then self notice the mistake and reply happy working susan...
then the day pass silently...no further communication from either party...

03/09/16
morning status checking...NIL from susan...
have breakfast and ready to run venue.....keep susan issue aside ...
concentrate on today's running.....running is back to normal...
as usual.....run and run and walk while out of stamina...and self was back to finishing line fast ...
then on phone ...sad to know NIL incoming from susan
snap a few photos and then put phone to off...back home on and yet nil incoming...
then phone was on the whole day but NIL incoming despite waited and waited...
self keep reminding self...NIL is normal ..as usual work done pull bridge...
incoming means susan pity self only...which self doesn't need any pity...
suddenly surprise...incoming sms from susan around 630pm...
sms ask are you getting better??? self reply self is loss...looking out the windows with blank mind..
i think susan doesn't know what i was trying to convey to her....i doubt susan catch my words..
then susan sms mentioning you are uber on the 09 sep...
self reply with the word friend ...twice...actually self have something to say but lets forget it..
susan sms me some icon ranging from smiley face and strong icon .to monkey icon and beer icon...
self reply susan self control self else  i will have similar ending like leslie cheung...
susan reply...may god bless you...you are my left right hand man ...GOOD FRIEND...
if friend then behave and don't think the unnecessary...
then at night self mentioned stay back ...won't go back ...friend.....however, susan didn't reply self...
self surf awhile and feel tired and dose off....oh..what a dull day...unlike the horny susan full of activities..
is damn painful day waiting incoming sms from susan...waited and waited...self feel the PAIN..

02/09/16
as self feel one kind self decided to off phone to cross the weekend in dull
self also request to go off an hour early as self need to collect race kit for tomorrow run
lots of work to be completed and is good too at least keep self occupied rather then mind on susan instead...
intermittent self on phone ...sad to know no incoming sms...
self understand susan is working today...helping the sister out...
self waited and waited till self back home yet no incoming sms...
self told self...is a very materialistic world....
once work done...pull bridge...is common..and susan is no exception...
then around 645pm self on phone and to my surprise there is one incoming sms
sms with no words but icon....the friend icon....
self just smile and didn't reply...then self need to rest early...
tomorrow morning got run....concentrate on running and keep susan miserable issue aside temporary...

01/09/16
self get stuffs ready and off to susan house.,,,massive jam as people rushing for office hour...
self was slightly late and upon arrival ask to go to veg shop...
saw susan eating alone and self join in...before that self notice susan was XTREMELY BEAUTIFUL today..
after meal susan ask to drop her at pbb as she need to do some banking...
hence self drove susan there and self have the feeling is the transaction to be done on the 03 of each month and true enough ...need not me this round...
then meet up with another friend of susan and go for singing balloting...
the china lady outlook friend mentioned susan mouth is like sweets....even girls susan can persuade until melt and not to mentioned the damn dickhead...self was in pain and hurt when hearing this sentence...
self notice susan damn good in PRETENDING DRAMA ....buy lunch for singing judges ...build connection first...later on to do things is a smooth one...
after balloting we went for massage and then dinner and self send all of them back...
self started one kind already...honestly self was jealous...
susan has so many friends...and what status am i  in susan's heart??
self keep asking self....susan is a what kind of person....horny kind...which match with her name..or what??self feel one kind and then sms back to XXX to inform self not well and on mc tomorrow...
self keep  questioning self...why??? can self stand the actual day which is  sep 09 and sep 12...
at times is better self remain in the dark then knowing too much and suffer due to XXXX

31/08/16
on 30/08/16 self increase the phone volume in hope that there will be incoming sms from susan and self is aware of it…
as self is too tired self asleep and awake in odd hours and saw 3 incoming sms from susan
self was happy to know susan did sms self yesterday night ….
then while self was up and doing some paper maintenance incoming morning sms from susan….is morning greetings…which self greet back
susan ask you didn't go home yesterday….self reply no….
susan mentioned today she is working….tomorrow you are uber…hahahaha…
self reply yes tomorrow self uber…very happy..lalalalala…
then susan back to the same topic….susan mentioned she accept the $200 mooncake and thanks me…but the $300….??
self mentioned we are friend …take it…we were FRIENDS since ages back…we are not calculative…take and accept it….i come with sincerity…
then susan call me and we chat a while and then offline as susan need to prepare and to work
susan part-time helping at dim sum store
then self ready with self chores…lots of paper to clear up…
surprise…around evening incoming sms from susan….simple one…friend…which self reply back friend …
susan ask did I go to temple…which self have doubt on how to answer….not GOOD to cheat…finally my APOLOGIES my GOD…i CHEATED...
self reply I pass by but didn't go in as self is afraid…furthermore self took meat the past few days…
susan mentioned tomorrow you will know and some blank content sms....which self in doubt what is the meaning of it...doubtful self...then susan mentioned see you tomorrow at 10am
then self sign on to whatspp at night and we chat a while...finally susan ask to be early as 9am if you wish to have the vegetarian meal...self noted and then offline...coz susan doesn't sound friendly...

30/08/2016
morning woke up saw 2 sms and 2 miss call from susan which is yesterday's night messages..
sms ask am I on bike home…be careful..
then self whatspp susan in the morning …..real early in the morning…around 530am
whatspp to say friend…allow me to buy you the samsung a5 ver 2016 phone…
I have deposited back $300 into your maybank account…
second messages in to inform mooncake festival is around the corner…
hereby I deposited $200 into your account
is for your mum and you to buy the mooncake you all prefer to eat in conjunction of the coming festive season…
frankly normally I buy from outside and send over as present…
but for years noted is NOT appreciated and mooncake is not their taste and to dustbin
hence this year instead of buying maybe gave cash and they buy their own
and is also a sign to respect the elderly…
self comes with GOOD intention but in NOT APPRECIATED and get whack back by susan
susan was awake and reply my whatspp asking what is going on here….why you want it this way!!!!
Self knew is a whacking sentence…
then follow by sms…why you want to treat me this way…
$300 buying a phone is dirt cheap and you add on $200 for mooncake…
I gave up on you susan mentioned..
self keep questioning…what is the meaning of this sentence..
then around 9am incoming sms from susan again….friend….self reply back... friend…
then susan ask where are you….can talk..self ignore the sms and didn't reply…
coz afraid self being whack and work mood spoilt..
hoping there will be incoming sms from susan again…but waited and waited till go back answer is NIL…
self knew is a BAD outcome…as eye twitches and the haze is back…
still remember clearly last year around this timing the dickhead was back and self was not aware and bump into them and the burning starts…I DOESN'T WANT HISTORY TO REPEAT..

29/08/16
morning early greeting thru whatspp…then follow by the word friend…
then offline and to work…while in train feel phone vibrate…open and see…is morning greetings from susan
once self in office self greet back
then n the afternoon self send a sms to susan asking on the 01/09/16 what time is the balloting process…
after that if there is free time would you like to go for massage….
if want to go do let me know…I got to fixed up appointment…
susan reply me…I will come back to you…..self reply noted…slow slow..i will wait for your reply…
susan reply mentioning come 11am and then later on busy with another friend as susan need to pack food for some friends
towards evening when self about to go home susan call me…we talk a while and is a HEART SICK call…
susan whack me…well…DAMN IT !!! did my sentence wrong…
I mentioned yesterday I went to a far far place…what is wrong with this sentence…
noted susan is very sensitive….too sensitive and a tricky person…
self keep reminding self…I have NO friend…those I knew ONLY make use of me ONLY
brother kenneth is one of it and the same goes to susan…
is faith self have no FRIEND…not to mention a LOYAL FRIEND…even a normal friend also dun have…
ending is ALWAYS turn sour and being cheated…is SELF FAITH maybe…

28/08/16
can say is the worse run...self so slow and walk more than run...
pain at waist while running...why...never before...
after running saw incoming sms from susan which is around the time self finish...
self reply and then offline
then run errand and  is a failure...waste petrol and money...
coz arrive destination and found out no more cash voucher given out...
looks
then home and do daily routine and clear some long pending credit card bills payment
suddenly around 3pm plus incoming sms from susan
simple sms ..friend...self wanted to reply but busy with credit card receipts to do bill payment...
hence incoming sms from susan is being ignored
then an hour later susan sms again...what happened...why didn't answer me....
self reply self not so ok ...self need to say silent and chant hard...
susan reply...ok...go ahead...self reply ok..thanks...
self mentioned know self can heal...my friend say i can get recover and back to normal...
i doubt i can heal or cure..no cure...the dickhead is just EXTREME sensitive to me...
at night we whatspp ahwile and told susan self went to a far far place...
susan not happy with this word far far place....and smack me...
then self choose to go offline....without greeting good night friend..

27/08/16
morning greetings from susan whereby susan thought self still asleep as there is no reply
but in fact self is awake...awake like normal working days...coz need to get bread and find out location
then we whatspp awhile and self send some neck choker pictures to susan
susan mentioned is nice...she like it..
then self proceed to online purchase and get it for susan
then quickly drive to search for veg shop location...coz self can't fail susan again searching for location..
search thru and found which is easier for self later..
time almost there and self to susan house and pick up susan and friend..
and our meal outing day begins...
in car susan and her colleagues talk alot....is all gossip and busy body words on ex-colleagues of susan..
first we have veg meal, then shop around for earrings for susan
then we proceed to high tea at high end atmosphere...then western type for dinner...
self was ok all the while ...until self heard the word. "dickhead"..
mood change..and susan notice it...and ask me what happened...maintain at same channel don't turn to sad chanel...maintain happiness...pls.....
self alight susan and ask susan if she can bring down those things susan bought for me...
susan bought me some healthy GOODs...is 2 big boxes of e.excel powder beverages..
is good for immune system...THANKS susan for caring....
maintain happy and stay on the same channel susan mentioned.once  more
once home clear off things and we chat a while over whatspp and then offline....
same  channel ....i doubt....coz the dickhead word is VERY sensitive to me..

26/08/16
self full with running errand and doesn't know which to complete first...
drive to work hoping can search the saturday veg lunch shop location...
self loss and better turn back for work and to search again on sat....
pick up paper and proceed with daily work...
lunch break rush over to Ave K to collect race kit and rush back to office..
as self loaded with work hence can't buy milk..
back home saw susan whatspp me some picture...
susan ask to check if can help her buy the following neck choker...
self search thru and mentioned maybe can try sg. wang or times square..
tomorrow maybe after lunch we can go look for it...
i know this two place sell lots of beauty accessories...
we chat a while over whatspp and then offline...

25/08/16
self sms susan mentioning self feel like eating meehoon
susan reply can...i will buy and bring it to you...
self feel surprise....once mentioned and i can have it..self mention no need on purpose...i just mention for fun..
susan mentioned her colleagues invite her for lunch ...she will drop by XXX
self noted and thanks susan and wait for her arrival..
saw susan come down from stair....nice casual outfit and look..
then invite susan to my level stay at pantry to have lunch together...
coz this timing the cafeteria is jam pack with people during lunch break...
while at pantry...some colleagues saw us...
so what..self is honest...nothing to hide...
we sat at the corner and have lunch and then went over to XXX
saw some susan old colleagues and those colleagues mentioned as I appeared means susan is here else i won't be coming over at all....well this is an honest sentence...self come over for susan ONLY..
susan with ex-colleagues and then self left and suddenly around 4pm incoming sms from susan
susan mentioned she is going home now and coming sat we go for veg lunch at kepong...
susan also mentioned she has whatspp me the location already...
self noted with happiness...yahooo...can go out this coming sat with susan

24/08/16
as usual morning sign on and greet susan....ops...guess what...
susan was awake and chat with me....hahaha...we are online so early...
then self told susan...is still early is not even 6am...got have some sleep...i won't disturb...
then surprise incoming sms from susan around 2pm...sms ask convenient to talk..
self reply...yes...let me call you...
guess what ...susan get a summons...and ask to check out pricing...
after conversation with susan knew that she have settle it and as it is a early payment got 50% discount...
sad for susan...but found out from tun....is just a cari makan fine...which self feel is true too...is a cari makan summons...
self told susan...in future if get summons fine call me ...i can settle it for you...ONLY you...
susan reply i am good and of use to her...everything i can get it resolve for her...
well for susan...everything is possible...ONLY for susan ....

23/08/16
morning  greetings from self....self also downloaded some mouth mask for susan
then around 8 am plus received incoming sms from susan....is morning greetings from susan
self reply back..morning greetings to you too...then silent from susan...
evening while about to do daily routine...suddenly there is a surprise incoming sms from susan
first one...friend...second sms...friend ...convenient...can we talk..
self reply...ok..let me call you...
then we chat for a while...it is a LONG HAPPY chat which lasted for 30 mins...
if ONLY moment last...self really miss susan ....
at night after all task done sign on to whatspp and further chat with susan...
then self choose to stop chat with a bye mentioning self in pain...need to offline...bye..
actually is true...self in pain the while day..not so well.."P" pain and feel pale...

22/08/16
morning as usual...on phone...nothing ....
then on phone around 930am and saw incoming sms...friend have you discharge?
message could be send earlier as self is using new phone and new phone doesn't capture time received...
lunch break went to trade in 2 used phone......too sad to let go but have to also let go too...
as model is phasing out and later trade in value is even lesser...
self waited and waited despite phone being on but no incoming sms from susan...
at night self sms inform self back then finally sign on to whatspp and chat a while with susan
from the background can hear susan is not at home.......at outside...as is rather noise
self mentioned self have no cure and is just waiting for time to come...
susan dislike self repeat and keep mentioning this....
susan keep mentioning...may god bless me..thanks susan for the blessing.....
can hear susan voice is not friendly hence...conversion get lesser and finally self offline..
offline without greeting susan bye and good night...self just offline like that...

















09/08/16
as usal awake at hour hours and have phone on...
waited and waited but no incoming sms....well...susan have gave up
sign on to whatspp and monitor till self left for work...no sign on too...
so is a sign of susan have gave up...can't me up every morning to monitor me..
when back to office to charge phone...yet no incoming sms...
then on intermittently and saw 2 incoming sms....
sms ask how are you ......are you ok...
sms 2 : are you working...actually is it am i working or susan is working..
then lunch break bworse around xxxx for trade in price...want to get phone for susan...
at night try best to backup sms from iphone...but is all a failure...sigh!!!!
if is a failure then how to trade in the iphone.....coz all susan's incoming sms are of importance to me...

08/08/16
self awake at odd hours...around 4am plus....
go to crumpler and take phone out and put it on...
wait with HOPE...and finally saw 2 incoming sms from susan ..
is actually incoming sms for 07/08/16 at 10pm plus ...there were 2 sms..
the first one was a short one...sounds like this...friend ...where are you...
the second sms was an extremely long sms....whereby eye having problem viewing it
coz is odd hours and is a sudden awake....hence put sms a side till morning...
too long...self snap a photo of it and read thru it...
second sms sounds like this....why need to go hospital so frequent...
lately notice almost every week you go to hospital...is it mental issue....
looking at your condition i feel so sad and worry...
friend...please listen to me...have to start consuming e.excel nutrition drink...
this is really beneficial and can improve your health..
with good health then only you can come and see me...do you understand me...
well...well well...self feel so touch...does susan really cares or what???
then notice susan whatsapp status....the last sign on was at 11:20pm...
then suddenly notice sign on as early as 5:40am....
if my six sense is right this morning sign on from susan is to monitor and track self..
the early morning sign on is looking for me....????
when back to office to charge phone.... notice incoming sms from susan
is an early sms coincide with the time which susan sign on to whatspp this early morning...
sms mentioned...please recover quickly....may god bless you..

07/08/16
phone remain off....no point on...self is not important...
force to on a while as self perform an online payment...need TAC to proceed...
then saw incoming sms from susan...there is 2 sms from susan
one send on yesterday night 06/08/16...simple one...just the word FRIEND...
and one sms this morning...are you back home already...
self wonder why for 2 consecutive nights susan sms self the word FRIEND...
is my six sense true...if not wrong susan miss me...
well to be honest...self miss susan too....miss susan very much...
BUT no choice...diskhead is back...susan is already married...

06/08/16
up early like working days despite is weekend...
self participated in the peace road run...opt for the longer distance...7km..
self run and run and run...stay for lucky draw and finally home...
back home then rest and do normal daily chores...
then at night on phone and notice 3 incoming sms from susan..
actually got 2 sms is on friday night which is at 9:55pm...follow by another sms at 11:52pm...
the 9:55pm..sms sounds like this....
friend ...please do take care....do chanting........speedy recover...no more sickness please....
while the 11:52pm sms is simple....just the word ....FRIEND...
and 1 sms this morning....at 833am...asking how are you...are you better...still in pain..
well...of course is pain...coz i xxx susan much...she is the chosen one...BUT...
BEAR IN MIND...susan is married...who am i...
brother kenneth call and whack me too...please discontinue the xxx with susan...is against Buddhism..
is karma...and self will be punish heavily .....for now and future life....

05/08/16
well things are solved...from phone issue to electricity bill to monthly banking errand...
since things done...as per normal...pull bridge...
is common among human beings...susan is no exception too...
waited and waited but NO incoming sms or call.....well who am i...
furthermore dickhead is back..and top priority is dickhead..
hence self feel fade up and phone to off mode...good too...save charging cost...
self too tired and sleep as early as 9pm...furthermore tomorrow got run..

04/08/16
understand that today the maxis agent is back to work after a day leave
well...self have no high hope that they will waive the charges...
as there is no call...self call the centre asking them to get the agent to call ..
agent call and true enough...no waiver...max given is $100..
self was so fade up with this issue and finally end it...no more ding dong the case
finally pay off the penalty and get agent to call susan to explain both the $48 and $50 plan
is better to get the agent to explain than self explain ...coz if any thing goes wrong...self will be blame
hence sms susan informing to expect a call from the agent explain the plan ...
susan sms back mentioning she took the plan $48 ....then follow by a phone call...
susan THANKS me for settle the issue for her...and she mentioned i have order a phone for her..
after few days survey by self the best option for susan is samasung j7  model 2016..
susan mentioned oppo f1 model is nice especially the camera is excellent...
self told susan...don't think further...is all useless brand...stick to either samsung or iphone ONLY.
told susan i have pay for the samsung j7 and pending for collection ONLY..
susan mentioned her friend living upstairs mentioned the ZTE can be sold for $500...
haha...what a laugh word...that kind of brand and furthermore is open can trade in for $500...what a laugh.
self at times fade up with susan...just can't understand....
well..hence self mentioned..the ZTE phone is up to you to decide...i don't want to get involve..
you got so many friends around you who can help you.....
who am i....i am just one friend from your group of friends....
susan mentioned and sms over mentioned among all my friends i am the SPECIAL one...
having a friend like me is winning lottery for her...i am a sincere friend..
hope this is a honest sentence from susan....
susan if you do and have indepth thinking.....where on earth you can find a friend like me.....
susan mentioned if you go home  tonight we chat over whatsapp...
self just acknowledge but choose TO AVOID....dickhead is back...self must AVOID....

03/08/16
morning greetings....self suspected will have one..and true enough...six sense was correct...
self doesn't want susan to come...first lots of work and food is not healthy...dirty on the floor...
self choose to AVOID as dickhead is here...
no point when the dickehad is here...useless mand...only know fucking...
self still angry with susan...just short message without greetings..
finally able to solve the TNB issue..sign of relief..change of account muber...

02/08/16
being running errands for susan...
ranging from phone to electricity to trade in...
is all me who do it...
end end self the loser...loss to dickhead...
then self end here and doesn't want to continue talking to susan...
coz the word..dickhead...is sensitive to self...

01/08/16
susan call me and explain what happened and high voice to me...
come on...i can't really visualise what susan is mentioned about...
then self call the telco call centre and undersand it better...
coincident the is makan makan at lobby in conjunction of XXX..
hence self take this opprotuiniy and seek out to help susan..
arrive susan house ...pick up and to shop to ask further...
shop ask to go center to resolve the issue...

31/07/16
despite sunday a rest day self up as normal...going for run at frim..
have to extra early coz promise to pick up race kit before 6.45am..
self was there on time..collected my race kits and the run begins...
self run and run and run...if not wrong self the champion or runner up...
but too bad...not prize nor throphy..
after run...plan to go collect peace road tshirt and then home..
need to do some sunday banking transcations...then to pick up 9uncle...
send 9uncle back and assist 9uncle on online banking remittance...
then back to XX to get blender and curtain as members price ends today...
then back home....too tired...and lots to clear up....
then at 8pm...turn phone on and 2 sentence whatspp with susan as susan is angry with self ..
angry because self wrote "leslie"...which susan dislike seeing it...
to avoid fire short chat (2 sentence chat) and offline...

30/07/16
self up xtra late today which is at  7am.....too tired...have enough rest first...
then for sure most important is susan status..
saw the last sign on is this morning at 12:30am....must be dickhead...
self have no choice but to AVOID.....phone off and was not on...coz know is nothing..
hence off to run errand for sis...wow...OMG...lots of stuffs and so heavy...
finally home and complete daily routine an phone on...
notice there is a miss call follow by 3 sms..
sms mentioned....phone having problem for 2 days...
apologies...how are you??? phone got problem hence didn't sms or call me...
is this true statement or susan bluffing me...
but honest susan on 28/07/16 no sign on ...stagnant at 9:02am...
another sms why leslie.....he already in heaven....not related to you....pls don't mentioned his name anymore...removed it from whatspp please...

29/07/2016
morning look thru phone…nil from susan and last sign on remains the same..
which is 9:02am on 28/07/16…yeah…either one …dickhead or prostitute is back…
coz rare case susan didn't sign on throughout the day…
not even the night pattern…horny talk with the dickhead…
NIL from susan to self too…well….is time for self to AVOID….and finally decide to put phone off as well…this is the time self should lye low…no point near susan when dickhead is here…
end end self the loser and suffer….hence better stay away…

28/07/2016
finally self sign on to whatspp after days of silence…
actually is a force sign on coz there is incoming message from susan which self curious…what is it all about
oh…I see is the phone bill…which self have settled for susan on 26/07/16 itself..
at the same time notice susan last sign on was this morning at 12:40am…wow…must be dickhead is back..
happy XXX and then last sign on…
self reply susan mentioning bill is already settled…I have paid on 26/07/16 already…
then self offline and ready to work…when arrive office notice incoming morning greetings from susan
sms sounds like this…my bread king friend…good morning…
self just look thru the message and didn't reply…
self have one kind feeling of susan….can't sense the dickhead is around…
hence self avoid…no reply…silence throughout…
9uncle on emergency call…blood pressure extremely high…self went to help…
send 9uncle to hospital and then home and next to xx
back home self the tired and pale one…end end self the loser…
upon settle down..look thru and notice susan last sign on was in the morning 9:02am….
and then offline for hours…
something fishy….is either the dickhead or the prostitute is back…
self too tired to know further and dose off…..

27/07/16


26/07/16


25/07/2016
self on el…coz have to ensure cousin home safely…can't just leave them alone…
and no point rush back to office…too tiring for self…
pick up cousin…have dim sum breakfast….shop around and send them to station…
then self home to clear things up…self waited and waited but no incoming sms nor whatspp from susan
self also feel one kind today…after cousin left…
self alone again….coming soon is aug…dickhead is back…self how??
is self insane or got mental problem…I honestly think I HAVE…
suddenly the "leslie thought" is here..why…mental problem AGAIN ??

24/07/2016
morning self have disturb sleep again…woke up ealry and then whatspp to susan
self mentioned when practice remember DON'T put your hand inside the pocket...
this means you are not confident..is a important point to note and to correct it…
then self back to sleep for a while…
then morning incoming sms from susan asking why so early you go to bank….
lots of work ??? Working ??? Today is Sunday…
then self reply…I can't sleep…in pain…don't want to disturb anyone hence the stay at bank is the best solution…then susan mentioned chant mantra …ahh…21 times…then you can sleep…it works..
then offline and self push daily errand up…to do it earlier…
coz cousin and ema will be arriving 12:30pm and then the second part of the day will be gone…together with them…around 11:45am plus self was out and to stn for pick up and suddenly incoming sms from susan
sms asking how am i…may god bless you…self reply I can manage it…thanks..may god bless you..
we were early and waited a while for cousin…after pick up went for veg lunch and then proceed to check in
next to get ticket back home and to buy things  they need to buy…
then home for dinner….and send them back to hotel..time runs fast when there is errands…
around 8:10pm incoming sms again from susan…ops…self was driving..
once home.....no reply yet…coz self is late and have to shower first..
after shower and pray then self reply susan..
self also mentioned…from the bottom of my heart…in my whole life I am greatful having a friend like you..
grateful and appreciate it…follow up on my condition…
is a honest sentence…appreciate and grateful having susan….self burst into tears…
then we sms awhile and then susan mentioned she need to do chanting..
hence self dare not disturb and then offline…self tired and dose off then….

23/07/2016
initially got lots of things to do…all things in mind…hence disturb sleep…woke up around 4am plus…
questioning self which errand to run first….then finally the first errand is to inform to cancel trip to spore
I can't go on Monday reason being…p is around…alone with 9uncle..
if anything happened then how..not the right timing…hence cancel..
then pure skin to cancel too and now the worries is happy hopper race kit collection..
yet no reply from organiser despite sending email…worry..
then around 7:47am incoming sms from susan…asking do you want bread…I am going to wet market later and buy for you…self reply no…thanks..
then susan mentioned come today as you are not working…I buy for you….i am cooking meehoon too..come..ops looks like a hard to reject offer…
hence self cancelled off all activities and agenda for the day is susan…
self actually reluctant to go…coz…have to wash up and susan mum is sick…self fear..
then at susan house…self have meehoon and then susan ask to accompany her to practice singing..
susan need practice as she has registered for singing competition…
well…notice susan can sing well and brave…can be on stage with no fear…
later the singing crowd get bigger and the waiting time for susan's turn is much longer..
if only moment stays…self have personal touch and susan voice really melts me…
if ONLY self a XXX....I WILL definitely be EXTRA GOOD to SUSAN...
then back home and we whatspp awhile and continue again at night…
as susan is busy with her mother we offline then….WE WERE HAPPY….

22/07/2016
today is chinese calendar month 6 day 19 which is kwan yin day
morning god blessing from self to susan via whatspp then off for work
then around 7am plus incoming morning god blessing from susan
susan ask me to do chanting more…it helps me..
then around 2pm self for fun self sms to susan mentioned self didn't have vegetarian meal…took plain bread instead…
reply from susan…sounds like this…today I am very happy…come over for dinner
I am cooking…let me know before 5pm whether you are coming or not…here raining…
self reply here raining too…dark sky…ok noted…will inform coming or not..
an hour later self reply self no coming….still working..next time maybe..
susan reply..ok..up to you…then we offline from here…no further communication…
self have lots of how in the mind….which errand to run???
inspect car if to spore….go pure skin and to collect happy hopper race kit…
can self manage the trip coz self alone with elderly 9uncle and is "P" time…self weak and tired period…
also have to rush home after work to send email to happy hopper organiser to allow self to collect race kit on event day itself…erghh…to book hotel too if trip is on….
ops…too much to do….which comes first….

21/07/2016
up late coz on leave to run errands…once up saw susan 3 sms which self ignored it yesterday night
then self reply sms to susan…apologies…
yesterday I didn't reply sms as self in deep pain and fever..
today slightly better and am half day…later part go see doctor
then susan mentioned take mc…then both party offline and self to run errands…
what a sick and wasting time trip to brother's office…
actually objective is to pass the birthday gift to tun…
sigh…self was dissapointed and so is brother kenneth..left with anger…
surprise…during evening incoming sms from susan......susan ask today you half day rest where…
self interpret the sms wrongly and reply…my rest day is on sat and sun
then susan ask are you working full day today..
self reply yes…working full day…heed your advise…didn't go see doctor
susan mentioned is good to know that you are ok..
self ask why….if you want to go somewhere I can apply leave
susan mentioned….no…afraid you not ok and not good to stay in office..
susan also mentioned now you feel ok…then is good
by the way my mum is also feeling better already susan mentioned..
then self reply THANK GOD…finally your mum is better…may god bless

20/07/2016
morning around 9:25am incoming sms from susan…is a simple sms….friend…
hence self reply…morning friend ….yesterday night didn't go home
self in pain hence stay at bank…this morning home for shower..
I am ok..but still in pain…have to stand the pain..
susan reply her mother still not well…
later will bring her to see doctor…tomorrow trip cancel...meanwhile  you becareful…and sorry…
then self mentioned need not sorry…you are not wrong..
are you on leave…you can come to my house..self reply self working today…
then later in the evening self sms to ask is your mum feeling better now
susan mentioned they just back and now resting…
then suddenly self feel one kind…flushing hot…
then self sms to inform xxx self on mc tomorrow…fever..
later at night susan sms to ask are you still in severe pain?
self reply yes…on high fever too..
susan mentioned then mc for tomorrow…put on the red bean pad
at the same time do chanting…it will help you…
self reply self can't use the red bean pad….self on high fever..cannot hot against hot??
then self too tired and off to bed......however can hear incoming sms from susan…
self no choice but to ignore it…self just too tired and lazy to wake up..

19/07/16
up in the morning and saw susan reply
then self reply back and we whatspp for awhile…
surprise…susan was awake so early….is even before 6am..
self told susan today is self painful day…coz consuming carrot juice..
susan reply for your own good you have to consume…hang on to the pain…
self whatspp cry emoji….then offline and to work
at work self sms susan informing self want to cry….
susan reply  take mc and go home to rest…self keep silence…
then around evening surprise sms from susan
sms asking how am I now…still painful…
self reply yes…still painful….but will be heed your advise to hang on to the pain and be good…
must listen to advise and no to upset susan…self reply yes…this should be the way…
well..well..well…how can NOT painful…I xxx susan and susan is already married......SIGH !!!!
at night self send an sms asking how is susan's mother
at the same time do send my regards to your mum
however no reply from susan….well maybe susan is busy....hence self too tired and dose off…
the next morning saw reply sms from susan…is was a rather late sms reply
sms ask mum is still ok and are you asleep already ???

18/07/16
today is chinese calendar month 6 day 15
yesterday susan did mentioned she will buy me vegetarian meehoon and will send over to me
self mentioned no need to come purposely…ONLY when you are free.
then morning incoming sms from susan… asking how am I today....mentioned she can't come today…need to bring her mother to see doctor
self reply I am ok….i am working…at office already…
self reply is ok…most important is your mother is well….take good care of your mother….
then later in the evening self sms to inform susan that the new lrt is in operation already…
be careful as susan need to alight for interchange…
then susan reply noted…and at the same time mentioned she just home at 4pm.
Waited 2 hours for the doctor consultation
then self reply…susan you and your mum must be very tired…go and rest a while…
hence we stop here and self won't disturb susan resting..
at night self whatspp susan ….sending me regards…
how is your mum and is she getting better…
may god bless your mum and speedy recover…
however there is no reply from susan and self noted susan might be busy..
hence self offline then and to rest…zzzz

17/07/16
after one month plus rest finally the run is back…
self have fear too…rest for too long….can I managed it??
self wanted to reply susan yesterday night sms but is too early now..is just 6.10am
hence self get all the sentence constructed and before flag off then sms out..
however…could it be six sense…received incoming sms from sms…
sms mentioned later come…I go buy bread for you …the bread king..
self reply…morning…I didn't reply your sms yesterday night coz I sleep already
come over for breakfast…no need…if go for spring cleaning then include me…I come over to help out
then self sms again informing I need to go out for a while ..will sms you on 830am onwards
self mentioned is still early now …go and continue sleeping…
then susan reply…you come lah…around 11am we go for spring clenaing…
ops..me and my big mouth…actually self have fear and don’t want to go for spring cleaning..
coz who know how clean is the tenant???? Self have fear…
but promise is a promise…hence be confident and go…
self shower up and drive to susan place…at door step and the sisters are here…
susan mentioned no need to go for spring cleaning..
come sit down and have breakfast…bought you loafs of bread and instead loafs…6 loafs…OMG….
have breakfast and then proceed with viewing photos..
plan to go for movie but is too late in the evening…long wait..hence cancelled
self also ask when are you free…I have purchase some massage service while it was on offer..
susan mentioned now till month end is ok….beginning till mid aug CANNOT
CANNOT coz the dickhead is back…upon hearing he word dickhead sudden pain strike..
then sit down to do photos…an hour later self excuse self and go home..
well..well..well…can say is a GOOD (no need to do spring cleaning) and BAD (wasted trip)

16/07/16
breaking sleep...up twice and the last one was at 3am plus...whatspp susan ..
weekend and too tired but force to wake up early too...
run errand...have to help 9uncle pick up rights issue form and send to his house...
at the same time to install the kapersky antivirus..
9uncle errand was bring forward to today as tomorrow might go spring cleaning with susan
intermittent look at phone and on wifi....but nothing from susan...
after running 9uncle errand then run self errand ...pick up race kit..
then home...perform daily routine  and self to rest....too tired...

15/07/16
morning self look into yesterday night susan's whatspp message...
read thru it...susan mentioned can you please listen...NOT to mentioned bad things...
hence self apologies to susan and reply via whatspp..sorry...i have make you upset..
while self on train got vibration...incoming sms....this early....who...is it susan..
open up and see is susan....susan mentioned bread is yummy...
haha...looks like susan is ok...have cool down..
hence self reply back and apologies once more for upsetting susaan...
susan mentioned is ok..over is over...
then self feel better and normal routine begins...
work and work and work...

14/07/16
noticed susan slept late last night..sleep around 12:30am...
yeah...birthday...so happily with dickhead making XXX
initially self plan to go on leave today to run errands...but too much mc is not good too..
hence back to work and run errand during lunch break...
suddenly while on train phone vibrate and saw is susan...
self sms back and noted that susan is coming to town today...
susan bought me bread and coming over to pass it to self..
ops...how now...self still running errands...hence ask if can come around 1pm instead...
finally self back to office and susan is just on her way out from house
we sms awhile and susan ask if want to go for vegetarian meal...self reply yes...
hence susan ask to come over and she will wait at xxx and we shall go together...
self at xxx stn and meet up susan and had our lunch...
then board train back to office and susan to xxx...
happy...a happy one...THANK GOD..
at night self whatsp susan...under whatspp one message sounds like this...
self know self won't have much time left behind...but today self is happy coz able to see susan coming...
susan was so upset with this sentence...self silent...dare not reply..
then quiet awhile and susan whatspp self...self dare not see it...afraid can't sleep...

13/07/16
today is susan birthday....morning self have whatspp birhday greetings to susan...
then around 8am plus susan sms self....surprise....oh....i sms mentioning the following..
susan mentioned this two day her mum not welll...bring her to seee doctor...
can we postpone the water playing trip...don't apply leave first...
self then call susan....ok..most important is your mum is well...
if ok...we can go anywhere without worries...can wait...no hurry...self reply...
at the same time self also wish susan happy birthday...
then it ends here...nothing then on..
susan birthday...wish to be with susan to celebrate with her...but think twice...
who am i....the dickhead might be here....SIGH!!!!

12/07/16
morning there is a incoming sms from susan on the pontalon medicine
is sms from someone to susan and susan doesn't understand...
hence forward to me to translate.....which self did and reply in mandarin
then susan call and self explain in depth on the medicine to her..
is not suitable for elderly and those with hypertension....then susan noted...
back home at night self whatspp a while with susan
self mentioned...well tomorrow is your birthday...
do you have any favorite food you want to eat OR
any place you wan to go to enjoy yourself...
susan reply...well go for movie is ok already...nothing special on birthday..
self ask further do you want cake..if yes..during lunch break i buy over for you...
susan reply no need...at home got cake ...ok self noted...also self dare not go to susan house...
is danger day to go now...dickhead might be  around...BOMB might blast...
susan ask me where you want to go and play...
self reply..anywhere also can...melaka....or you want to play water @ sunway,..
susan mentioned not now..hot weather...later susan reply can also ...coming Friday or sat also can..
then self out the smile emoji..yahoo...we go for water fun...

11/07/16
nothing special......nil communication from susan.

10/07/16
finally the day self waiting for is here....well don't know is happy or sad for self...
self get ready and arrive susan house and waited downstairs...
then our happy moments begins...
firstly we go for massage ......susan THANKS me....
THANKS me coz self paid the bill....then we had our vegetarian lunch
next is the free karaoke session....
we WERE VERY HAPPY....if ONLY time stays...
then back home and lucky self escape...doesn't want to join them for dinner...
else is another meal and self will be home late....
tomorrow is a working day....remember it....is a working day for self  !!!!cannot over FUN !!!

09/07/16
today agenda is to celebrate mum's birthday...actual day...
susan call and it was a miss call...then self call back...
we chat awhile....susan mentioned she has cooked chrysanthemum tea...
tomorrow come over and have a drink and have breakfast too...then we go for massage...
self mentioned as for breakfast you all go ahead...
can't take heavy breakfast as we are going for massage
susan noted ....we then chat on health issue...
self still reluctant to have carrot drink ...is too cooling for self who is damn weak...
but susan insist self to drink to heal self....
told susan self situation is different....can't operate...if operate...it moves with blood and die faster..
only survive on medication to prolong life...day by day pass......cannot operate...
then self mentioned forgot about it...let move on to happy topic...
happy topic is ....we going for outing  fun tomorrow..yahoo..

08/07/16
wow wow a super early sms from susan...at 1am ..
didn't susan sleep...is odd hours already...self notice susan sleep late
sms ask help print a message to alert people to call them if their vehicle is blocking others..
self then whatapp back to susan in the morning....ok noted ....will get it done for you..
well is a busy day for self....run errand...need to collect road tax
and also lots of office work to be completed as well
susan sms but self was unaware as self was in the commuter train and on the way back to office..
susan sms ask am i working today .....self reply .......yes working...is a working day for us...
offday is for government servants only.
susan invite self for movie...but self rejected it...how to go for movie when self is loaded with work..
self polite reply susan...you all go ahead instead...i can't go...working...
susan reply..if that is the case we postpone it...watch later....
back home we chat a while on whatspp on the printing issue....
print notice to alert people to call if car is blocking......happy chat...

07/07/16
no communication from susan.....susan must be busy helping out at dim sum shop
today's agenda is to self bring sibling over to vegetarian shop for lunch to celebrate mum's birthday..
nothing much then...get ready for back to work tomorrow...

06/07/16
mentioned on 04/07/16 to susan that self will be going over to dimsum hop to help out
but after some thoughts self decided not to go....
stay indoor...nothing much ...quiet outside as today is 1 day of raya...
then around 2:30pm plus surprise sms from susan follow by whatsp
since self didn't reply susan follow up with a phone call at 5pm ...
we chat awhile...self mentioned self not so well hence didn't come..
susan mentioned today shop business is good and she is so busy..
susan also mentioned need not come tomorrow....we meet up on sunday instead..
susan mentioned have a good rest and remember to do heart sutra chanting...
afternoon thru evening till night self busy clearing up letters and documents and do filing...
strange ...sleepless night...just can't sleep...

05/07/16
morning simple whatspp greetings from self to susan
however nothing from susan throughout the day
majority on leave already...but self the busy one...super busy..

04/07/16
today is chinese calendar first day of month six
susan is coming over to sogo and at the same time will buy me vegetarian meehoon..
morning self whatspp to susan and morning blessing too....
then a whatspp yahoo as there is vegetarian meal today...
then around 8am plus susan sms to mentioned she will arrive around 10am plus...
self mentioned ok..i will wait...slow slow...
then around 10:30am susan is here.....self waited outside but no sign of susan
hence walk into cafeteria and found that susan is here already...
then we talk awhile and self had my vegetarian meal
then self invite susan to my office and my floor and my workstation too...
just one breeze walk-thru my floor and walk down with susan again
susan mentioned she need to go maybank to check out the credit transaction....
the credit transaction whereby self credited susan with living allowance and birthday gifts..
later self received sms mentioned after checking saw amount credited and thanks me...
self reply..need not thanks me...we are friend...friend since decade and i will share happiness with you...
i am sincere and doesn't hope for return...
at night self ask susan if she is free on this coming Friday to meet up with brother kenneth ...
meet up to know each other if things happened to self ....susan mentioned this is not the time yet..
well since susan rejected it and self feel brother kenneth is  reluctant to meet up  then self silent the issue...
we chat a while and then offline...goodnight...

03/07/16
morning greetings from susan...asking how am i...are you feeling better..
self reply yes...slightly better...we then sms a while and susan ask to call her..
self call and we chat awhile...susan insist self to carry on drinking the carrot juice
is good and will help cure self...and mentioned if got time come over for acupuncture too..
susan mentioned she went for acupuncture 2 days back to heal herself...
well self noted susan got lots of internal sickness..
we spoke awhile and know that susan is helping at the dim sum store today...

02/07/16
since susan is joining the sister for work....self look for self activity
self and sibling went to book fest..this book fest have some kind of bad thought for me...
is 2 years back if not wrong....self meet up susan and got some hiccups...
then plan to celebrate mum's birthday as well but to bad...wrong turning and all things cancel...
since heated up and things not smooth ..self sms susan to inform self not coming...
self not coming tonight and tomorrow as well...self in pain...
susan noted and ask to be patient a while ...hold on to the pain....susan also ask god to bless me...
thanks susan...self really appreciate your good will...

01/07/16

morning greetings from susan....greetings arrive while self still on train..

once self arrive and at workstation self reply susan sms...
susan ask just arrive bank...and self reply yes...home to shower and change clothes...
then towards noon surprise sms from susan...asking if am i free to go bank...
oh what a coincident....too many things at a time..
brother kenneth was in town to help me after knowing self got cancer...
hence lunch with brother Kenneth and rush back to run banking errands for susan...
also help susan settle all susan outstanding bills like handphone and electricity bill.
then susan ask me to call her which self did...we chat awhile
susan ask if she can go help out her sis ....self reply why not......and ask can i join .....
since is inconvenient self didn't go and susan is helping out the sister tomorrow..
then susan also mentioned after work susan will call me and we shall go for drink and dinner then...
temporary self acknowledge it....not self know self won't be going...AVOID...dickhead around...

30/06/16
nothing from susan...self can sense the dickhead is around..
self to AVOID...avoid the unnecessary....
BEST to stay alone lonely then seeing the unnecessary and get HEAT up..

29/06/16
morning greeting...self suspected it too...
got money got communication else who cares...
what a materialistic world and person susan is....i knew susan's pattern well...

28/06/16
actually massage appointment was on 01/07/16
but susan mentioned she is busy from 29/06/16 to 01/06/16 got eyelashes appointment
hence self have to bring forward the appointment to 28/06/16 instead
on sunday self over heard susan conversion that dickhead is back..
hence to play safe self didn't go up .....pick up susan downstairs and went for massage
noted that susan got lots of internal issue...coz at massage noted susan got lots of toxins in body
and have to go thru another gua sa process....
upon massage completion we have lunch and down to town...
while driving then pass susan some application form to change bank atm card and also the bank in slip...
self bank in to susan's account  $3500 as living allowance from June 2016 to Dec 2016
then also another $1000 as birthday present....is better to gave money coz things for sure to dustbin..
self mentioned self have to give present in advance in fear self won't be around for long...
susan consult me and explain to me life reincarnation and commit suicide suffering...
self noted susan advice...and acknowledge susan teaching
then susan mentioned she need to go XXX square to buy bus ticket to spore...
dare not tell me...just say but for someone...but self know is for the dickhead...
my guessing was correct...dickhead is here.
bought ticket and we head home...susan ask to go up awhile to take the read bean healing pad...
but self rejected....MUST AVOID GOING UP...sense the dickhead is here...
self left for home and at night we whatspp a while...

27/06/16
nothing special....morning simple whatspp greetings from self.
nothing from susan...busy maybe...coz helping the sister out...
meanwhile self busy with banking errands...
withdraw from xx and deposit to susan's account...
self finally decide to gave $3500 as living expenses (from Jun16 to Dec16) and
$1000 as birthday present....is sincerity from self...

26/06/16
morning self went over to susan house...self as usual punctual..
arrived sharp 8am and susan is not ready....hence self waited for roughly 20 minutes...
then we go for light exercise walk and head for breakfast and walk wet market a while..
then we go for carrot juice...found actual location but spend some time looking for the house...
finally found the house and bought a few bottles home..
can see susan and family really help me...it makes me almost burst into tears....

25/06/16
morning sms from susan...mentioned she is working today...
then self reply stay happy with work and susan reply ok..
later in the evening susan sms asking to call her...
self call and susan ask to join her for dinner...
self rejected it...coz self dislike going "to that" vegetarian shop hence rejected offer..
then susan mentioned about the carrot juice...
then maybe come tomorrow and go for exercise and have vegetarian meal and go for carrot juice...
self agreed..looks like no choice....but to accept the help...

24/06/16
morning greeting from susan....friend stay happy...
self reply back will stay happy and listen to you....appreciate it and tq
susan reply sms and thanks me back...
self reply in fact self should thank you....coz i am dying soon and you still consider me as a friend...
susan reply mentioned...don't mentioned bad things...stay happy...
towards evening susan sms self...self was caught by surprise...
susan ask am i free...self reply ok...
then susan ask to call her...which self did...
we chat a while...susan wants me to drink carrot juice which can cure self...
self reply self need to consider...
then at night sms from susan again...mentioned if can book for massage on july 10 for 4 pax
then we sms a while and susan oflline then...

23/06/16
nothing special...morning whatspp from self...
nothing fancy ...just the word friend and the cute logo...
noted that susan is working today...
helping the sister out...

22/06/16
today is public holiday
went to visit susan as plan earlier on 20/06/16
finally almost one month we didn't meet up after the 29/05/16 incident
we were happy...we had breakfast and then shop around..
self reveal self have been detected with cancer..
susan console self...looks like susan cares...???
susan suggest self to drink carrot juice....self mentioned self need time to think it over...
susan mentioned she had ovary problem in year 2005 and carrot juice safe her..
at night we whatspp a while and then dose off..

21/06/16
morning sms from susan asking what time you coming tomorrow??
self mentioned around 11am the usual timing ...you ok with it?
then susan mentioned what happened to your whatspp...
please erase or delete the word leslie cheung...i don't want to see it...
self mentioned....sorry i have upset you.....after work back home i will change it...
wow looks like susan check on my whatspp...

20/06/16
morning greetings from susan......are you working today...
self mentioned self working ...am at office already...
susan mentioned wish you healthy...and stay good...
self reply thank you and self ask can i come over on this coming wed...
this coming wed is public holiday..
then susan ask...go where..massage..
ops..public holiday normally is fully book...
but anyhow self try best to search for vacant slot too...
managed to book one slot but still hang on..looks like...pppp...is on the way...
to play safe self didn't confirm anything with susan...wait till tomorrow if ppp has arrived ???

19/06/16
self keep waiting but nil.....which is normal....if got is pity or sympathy...
phone off and on ...to my surprise..around evening 5pm plus incoming sms from susan
susan mentioned today is sunday,....are you discharge...
self reply 2 hours later...mentioned...i am home...long delay coz heavy rain...need to shelter
no reply from susan...hence self test water....send sms to secretary instead...
yet no reply...sigh...then self dose off....rest...
when self up the next day saw there is 2 incoming sms from susan...
susan mentioned...i need to rest more and takecare of self..tomorrow will be better...
also ask me to control my emotion...put burden and unhappy things down....stay health...

14/06/16 to 18/06/16
nothing special for the following days..
as per normal...work and back home and sleep...
NIL communication from susan DESPITE PHONE ON..
maybe susan know self still alive and in shape hence no need to waste $ sms self..
self keeps waiting and waiting but result is NIL
keep consoling self...if YES is pity or sympathies .....if NO is normal and should be the way...

13/06/16
NIL communication from susan's end too..
maybe is time for self to communicate...
self finally put phone to on mode and sms to susan
we chat a while at whatspp too...
thereafter silent then despite phone on...

12/06/16
on this morning and found got incoming sms from susan as early as 5am plus yesterday 11/06/16
sms sounds like this....friend...may god bless you. ...
thanks susan...you are always with me...
i will NEVER let alone in whatever circumstances...
we share happiness together....but suffering self will bear it...
on phone at 7pm as there is one credit card payment....NIL sms from susan.
NIL communication from susan on sunday..

11/06/16
on at morning ard 4am plus ...
happy as there is one despite is a simple one...the word friend....
actually is message from yesterday (10/06/16) night...
coz yesterday 10/06/16 self not well and off to sleep early...
then put phone is back to offline....
self out for hours with family and when back home phone remain off..
as self not well and dose off at 6pm...
very bad sore throat and fever...

10/06/16
on phone but found nothing at early morning
then intermittent on during working time...NIL as well..
nothing till self back home...self gave up....
complete phone off and keep aside...rest early as self is sick...

09/06/16
looks like nothing in the morning now...
phone off and on intermittently....
nothing til evening...
surprise...got incoming sms from susan
sms sounds like this....friend are you OK??
wish much to reply but better NOT...
coz today is dumpling festival..dick head might be around...

08/06/16
self on leave to go for medical checkup...
first time medical checkup after years of employment...
morning a quick check on susan status...
ops what a coincident...saw susan online...
online as such timing...so early....couldn't be self...i am confident is NOT to me..
while waiting for report...self on phone...
surprise...got incoming sms from susan..
message sounds like this....friend...you still haven't come out...

07/06/16
NIL incoming in the morning....
despite on yet NIL...
however...during evening there is one incoming to my surprise...
sms sounds like this...friend how are you...
wish to reply...but better not....
susan is MARRIED and now happily with dickhead...
i shouldn't disturb...

06/06/16
as usual first thing in the morning on phone...NIL...
then on the whole day......yet NIL
when home look thru sing on pattern...
whatspp last sign on was in the morning at 10:30am...silent then...
pattern looks like susan is in Singapore...
enjoy xxx with dickhead and happy with prostitute daughter...
only self the naive one waiting here...
is being 2 days without sms NOR whatspp from susan...NIL for 2 days...

05/06/16
is chinese calendar first day of month five...
sign on to check on susan status...
coincident when self sign on susan was online...
could it be to me...i doubt...
self didn't on phone until 6:30pm and found that is a FAILURE...
NIL incoming sms from susan...
based on susan's sign on pattern looks like susan is away to spore today...
sign on early morning at 7:30 am then 11am plus and nothing till 7:30pm..
HAPPILY XXX in spore with the dickhead...
self the naive one in PAIN waiting here....SIGH !!!!

04/06/16
too tired to wake up but force to wake up too..
up like normal working days...coz got marathon..
have to slightly early coz haven't collected my race kit yet...
on phone and waited a while...NIL incoming sms from susan...
self console self ..is ok...and off to run...
self run and run....and stop a while when tired...
completed the run and back home...
of course the first thing is check on susan status...
at late noon self turn on phone and found incoming sms from susan
is a greeting sms...friend...good day to you...
then late evening self have to turn on phone once more to perform online trx..
saw got incoming sms and whatspp too...
incoming sms mentioned...how are you...are you ok...
self ignored it...as susan is MARRIED...no point keep struggling with susan...
but frankly i MISS SUSAN MUCH...SUSAN how are you...i REALLY MISS YOU...

03/06/16
nothing special....as usual....up and put phone on..
waited and waited...NIL...
NIL throughout the day despite phone being on...
actually on to communicate with brother kenneth...
brother kenneth is coming to town...to collect some item and will drop by...
self look back at susan sms to me on sunday.....
read thru it again...found have different meaning...
cannot...we are friend....you only look after yourself...how about me...
does this sentence have different meaning...
meaning that susan she is married...we can ONLY be friend...have you ever think of me...
I AM MARRIED ...A FAMILY WOMAN....I HAVE A FAMILY...
is above the ACTUAL meaning...suddenly head pain and the pain continues......

02/06/16
as usual first thing in the morning...on phone...
hope there is incoming sms from susan...
phone on...waited and waited but NIL.
console self...NIL is the way it should be..
susan is MARRIED...must remember this point CLEARLY...
then around 11am self on phone again...
surprise to have sms from susan...
too bad is NOT a good sms...is a jinks sms...
sms mentioned the monthly routine banking transaction to be performed on the third of every month is being done...need not trouble me...ask me to learn manners!!!! what is the meaning of this ???
this sms is a jinks sms and makes me recall the dickhead incident on 26 Sep 2015
headache then....self actually want to "FIRE" back susan ....but still hang on to it.....be a man....

01/06/16



31/05/16
on phone at monring...concole self...
no is normal...susan is already married...
got means sympathized me...
but cannot cheat self...self hope for incoming sms...
yes...finally there is one..at odd hours...
is 2am plus...susan sms self...
susan mentioned...should carry coming day happily
we are friend...

30/05/16
put phone on...but what a failure..
despite phone being on...there is no incoming sms NOR call from susan
sad self ...keep looking at susan's sunday sms ...

29/05/16
3 lapses up and down stairs...something new...and i have done it..
i have registered for the WRONG category...
if i have registered for the women category i am in the 4 placing...i won something...
but too bad...WRONG registration...under men category...so damn it...loss..
then home and get things ready to go susan house...
susan working so is the best time self drop by to pass the items to her sis instead..
but too bad..upon arrival at susan's house...is all locked up...
then self drive the the dim sum shop...saw susan there..
then pass the item to susan.....as susan is busy...ask to pass to her sis...
self pass the things to her sis and briefly explain and left...
susan come after me and enter my car...console me...
susan words just can't enter my ear...self so nervous...self ask susan to get down from car..
self drive off.and THE END of US...
actually the answer is simple...all this happened due to the dickhead...
back home self sms susan mentioned my condition is NOT simple...cannot be cure...
you are not me...you don't know my PAIN and suffering....I don't need sympathy...
inside the envelope there is 2 already paid massage coupon...fixed appointment and enjoy with your dickhead...
also the adidas and e excel millennium cactus juice is original product comes with receipt ...
not courier from china...
also need not waste phone money sms me..
i might not be around...i might choose the similar path like brother Leslie...jump down...
self feel so painful to breakup with susan...
all becoz of the dickhead and the dickhead incident ringing hard in my head...

28/05/16
extra early morning sms from susan guess what time is 4:20am..
self was awake at this time too...but lucky phone was on slightly later...
else self and susan online at the same timing...
pick up race kit and as usual somewhere new and self loss the way..
wanted to go XXX but control self...save up to pay speed trap summons instead...
self CRY...TEARS in heart...

27/05/16
is xxx members' day...is an event that ONLY happened twice  a year..
is something self looking forward to too...
but this round is NOT...self was so SAD...
so down and sad...intermittent cry in heart too...
susan is back to XX today and tomorrow.....part time.......but self choose to AVOID..
due to the massive crowd hoping susan unnoticed self.... self peep thru...but no sign of susan...
self was so down...browse floor after floor ..... bought nothing and left...
cry intermittently ....cry in sleep too....
console is there is a morning sms and night sms too...susan says is day 2 already...are you ok??

26/05/16
self on leave to perform ipl and later part of the day to susan house to pass the adidas tights...
self cant wait till sat to pass it to susan...afraid not the right size and have to change...
on the way back from ipl session self speed and got speed trap summons...
feel not comfortable being summons....
then back home and sms susan can i drop by at 2pm...
susan reply ok and do come up for lunch...
self arrive and susan was having her shower...then invite for lunch which is fried meehoon...
as usual NO APPRECIATION AND COMMENT on all those things i gave her.....come on is a genuine ADIDAS product,...in my whole life i have NEVER wear such an expensive item...
self suddenly feel on kind with susan today..
the dickhead incident came to my head and also the incident susan avoid me whereby self see with my own eyes....susan using the crossbridge just to AVOID self..
self feel the pain...THE PAIN...SHD AVOID FOREVER I GUESS...
self remain silent with susan...reject all offer.....and self remain mute...
I guess susan feel disappointment with me too...
then self mentioned i am sick to the secretary which is actually directing to susan.....
and phone remain off for GOOD...
black day i guess....get speed trap summons and hiccups with susan...

25/05/16
as phone is on....nothing much...just morning greeting...
self reply back and that's it...
silent thru out the day....

24/05/16
brother kenneth was in town an we have vegetarian lunch together...
brother need me to open a savings account for him so that he can channel all his money into that account...
self obey and perform as instructed...
finally phone back to open mode at 8pm ...
of course first thing is susan...notice susan was rather quiet...silent since 2pm...
we whatspp a while and then follow by a phone call as per request from susan to call her
we chat a while...as usual is drama chat and massage program an issue again...
susan is so unorganized....promise and break promise kind of person...
as usual...is a heart sick chat...self feel one kind then...

23/05/16
self carry bulk cash to work today....money to pay MRTA for the Holmes house
to avoid disappointment self quickly deposit the amount into the credit card account..
then plan to walk over to the insurance company during lunch break to settle off the payment....
damn it...mentioned have to pay by cash and need the IBA note...
cannot accept credit card payment...FUCK .....money stuck in credit card...how now????
ask around banking hall and noted thee is no way to withdraw back the cash from credit card...
if withdrawal is being perform is consider cash advance and have to pay penalty of 5 % on withdrawal amount....NOT FAIR .....
hiccups after hiccups....sigh!!!!

22/05/16
awake at 3am plus.....and the first thing is check any incoming sms...
NIL...then self back to sleep....
then up again at normal timing...phone on and yet no incoming sms...
notice susan last sign on is 11pm plus and that's it....NO early morning sign on...
hence self gave up and off to marathon....
not a good sign....forgot to take location map, loss my way and hurt the t-shirt...
but anyway self completed the 6km run...
back home after run and quickly put phone on....NIL sms...
again at 3pm and 5pm plus on phone...NIL sms too...
self bite my lips and keep telling self  this is normal and should be the way...
self feel so sad...finally susan have gave up hope on self....
waited and waited but result is NIL incoming sms...

21/05/16
self on phone at 4am plus...sad to know that susan didn't sms self at night..
self was indeed sad...but console self off...
no sms is right...it should be the way...got sms means susan pity me..
since no incoming sms self put phone back to off mode...
then during breakfast time self noticed susan sign on to whatspp at early as 6am...
self then turn phone...self suspect susan might send me sms at that 6am time frame...
and true enough is my guessing....susan wake up to sms me...
sms sounds like this....friend today is day 6...
today is god blessing day too...wesak day...may god bless you...speedy recovery ...
you have love and take good care of yourself...we are good friend...
upon seeing this see almost cry in heart....
susan honestly i miss you much...but self have to behave....susan is married...
hence no choice but to off phone....have to practice days without susan..
then went to XX to pick up race kits for tomorrow run and at the same time to get the adidas tights for susan
is expensive which self will NEVER buy for self to wear...i NEVER wear such an expensive item in my whole life...
but for susan self willing to buy...bought...but to hold on...yet to give it to susan..

20/05/16
is a lonely friday for self....console for the day is incoming sms from susan....

19/05/16
self have no choice but to tell lie...to obtain my el to go visit brother kenneth..
visited brother and we have lunch and then self back home...
yeah...sad to see brother kenneth condition...
on the other hand pity self too...look around self....self have nobody too...
deep in heart self miss susan much...on phone and saw morning sms from susan
self track susan pattern....susan sign on to whatspp extra early in the morning...
actually sign on to see self sign on to whatspp or not...honest susan is tracking self..
since self didn't sign on to whatspp susan then sms self..
where to find a friend who is so sincere ...willing to wake up so early to track self..
as self no around will follow up with sms and blessing....

18/05/16
morning as usual...put phone back to on mode to check if any incoming sms...
honest..from the bottom of my heart..on to check whether susan sms me or not...
hope there is....and yes...indeed there is incoming sms from susan...total 3...
susan sms sounds as follows...
...friend ....how are...
you have to carry on reading mantra daily...
may god bless you..
"I AM HERE WAITING FOR YOU"..
we shall go for enjoyment and massage together...
you are my left and right hand man...
speedy recovery and be discharge ASAP...
the sentence i am here waiting for you keeps repeating in my heart..
but finally self let go...susan just consoling me...
must remember SUSAN IS ALREADY MARRIED!!!
brother kenneth called after long silence....
get to know that brother not well...almost get stroke...
self decided to go over and pay a visit tomorrow...
as courtesy and respect visit...

17/05/16
first day without susan...self feel odd and one kind...
but remains days to come will be like this...self have to practice it..
to avoid susan ...self decided to put phone off....completely off till ????

16/05/16
the day that self FEAR most is FINALLY here...
today is susan last day...
lunch break self went over and no sign of susan...
should i call...well better to sms coz susan might be having farewell lunch...
when self about to sms susan appear...we have a short chat...very short chat...
self want to have farewell lunch with susan but who am i,,,,
susan have lots of friends...my turn will NEVER come...
hence self wish susan ....and self mentioned take care...
self told susan self not well...condition not stable...i want to HANG myself...
susan mentioned you are not happy.....if you want to think negative i can't help you too...
susan doesn't understand me.... self really feel so sad...
deep in heart self is crying...then self left with sadness
damn it..hiccups with susan despite susan last day...
back to office....susan call me...self didn't pick up call..
then notice susan ask to call back...which self didn't .....
then at night maybe it was self mistake...i off phone and hide in crumpler already...
tomorrow self on phone and it was a quick on....is phone properly off...
then notice susan late incoming sms "what are you doing"......
what is the meaning of it...what am i doing now ...or what happened to you...

15/05/16
nothing special for the day...
morning greetings from susan and that's it...nothing onward then
damn bored day...day wait for night to come type...
self have strange feeling....lonely...feel like want to commit suicide...

14/05/16
wake up as per normal working day..despite is weekend...
self get ready and off to marathon...
only at marathon venue self notice susan send me morning sms
asking how am i...am i ok...why didn't go home..
self didn't answer but instead just reply morning greetings...
focus on run and completed it...and head home then
nothing special then...update blog and dose off....

13/05/16
lunch break self run errand first and then rush over to see susan..
actually have no intention to go over as is too rush
finally have to go over too coz to show my outfit...else i won't be bother to put on this silly low class clothes..
again is the same conversation topic....stay calm...be happy..pray more..
susan showoff...mentioned no time to entertain me..lots of people giving her farewell party..
ahh....is so boring self hearing this...want to cure me...NO SOLUTION COZ you are MARRIED..
then self ask for the adidas legging article number which susan took a photo...
with the article number is easier for self to work on...
back home skip mantra...too weak,  slightly not well and tired...sleep...tomorrow got marathon..

12/05/16
morning sms from susan...self reply back morning greetings...
then lunch time self drop but susan not around...boss giving her farewell.......
then suddenly at 2pm plus susan called....ask to help get her the pos office outlet address...
the post office located in spectrum ampang...self extracted info and pass it to susan
susan thanks me and mentioned i am her left and right hand man...
then at night wow is a real surprise...when susan go back time susan drop me an sms..
ask to wait for rain to stop then only go home...my left and right hand man..
hahahaha...is this drama or what ???? well what a GOOD DRAMA bitchy person susan is...
another incoming sms which sounds like this...
.....you have to take good care and luv yourself then only me can exist...
till now i don't know the meaning behind this sms...meaning what...
self CANNOT have indecent thinking...how can i be with susan....susan is MARRIED...

11/05/16
self arrive on time and wait down stairs instead....didn't go up...
is better to avoid going up...not healthy and who knows the pussy licker dickhead is here..
coz i have eye twitching which signal me something bad will happened...
on the way to massage...self remain silent...not much talking...
susan ask and self reply.... nothing further than that...
then after massage we talk and back to normal...we have lunch and shop around...
then send susan back and self back home...
self told susan do you know i might have the same faith like leslie...i might choose to jump down...
susan keep persuading me...stay clam...god bless...take it easy...
how to take it easy...i know myself well...frankly all this HAPPENED BECOZ OF YOU, SUSAN..
self xxx susan much but susan is already MARRIED...and self HATE the pussy licker dickhead..

10/05/16
self still angry....have no intention to go over...run banking and epf errands instead..
also self have to start practice days without susan...susan leaving in a weeks time..
aiks...morning greetings from susan...
shd i reply...initially self still angry...no intention to reply...
but based on previous experience...is better to reply ....hence self reply morning greetings too..
lunch time stick to promise..not going over..
i guess susan is expecting me to go over...
since susan didn't see me a the norm lunch timing susan call me up..
asking is tomorrow on...and blah blah blah...so GOOD in drama...
self reply yes..is on...WOW...i really salute and applause susan..DAMN GOOD in DRAMA..
at night self whatpp is it ok for me to drop by at 11am tomorrow
susan reply ok...then follow by good night..
what the HELL is this...as if is being FORCE...
who is wrong now...you know you have appointment with me on 11/05 and still take leave on sunday 08/05 to enjoy....what kind of person is this...NEVER keep to timing and promises...

09/05/16
finally after almost a week self put back the phone to on mode...
morning whatspp susan...mentioned i am back to work today...
then once self in office saw incoming sms from susan
susan mentioned she is HAPPY to hear from me...how am i...do you want breakfast
self reply no need breakfast...
then susan ask is it convenient to talk..can call her now...which then self call up susan...
again is the same topic...E excel...inform i should consume e excel...
self mentioned...ok..later will inform what product i want...
susan also mentioned she is flying off to spore...ops..self suddenly panic and pain in head..
thought today should be a good day but damn it...what a beginning...
go spore for what.. i am right.... you can tied up susan...she is a horny bitch kind..
then lunch time self went over...and susan was not around...self call susan up...
and there she comes...pretending...loss of vision..and etc...
then susan mentioned she is not well...asthma attack...
i suspected susan is not a healthy person ...i notice she have the breath sick..only asthma person use..
then susan mentioned about how about the massage appointment on 11/05...is it on...
i say is on...as suspected have to cancel or postpone AGAIN..
susan ask can it be postpone cause she just take off day yesterday...this coming wed 11 she is working...
cannot take leave anymore and her last day is 16/05/16..
as expected and my guessing is CORRECT...she is on leave yesterday....to celebrate
i was so mad .....come on please respect me too...you know you have appointment with me on 11/05.
earlier you mentioned you are ok with 11/05 and now...give all sort of reasons...
hence lunch self was so mad and left earlier...i was so ANGRY with susan...
at night i sms susan....if you cannot make it on 11/05 don't force yourself and i won't disturb too..
i have cancel off the appointment....
self also added the following....happy to see again...hahahah..needn't console me...
.....i don't need sympathy...i told doctor do inject me and let me go in peace...
susan whack me back with some sms...self was angry and don't bother to reply..
also there is nothing to reply...coz i am NOT WRONG....susan so GOOD in drama...

08/05/16
is mothers' day today...from the whatspp pattern looks like susan is off...
coz susan sleep at 2:30am this morning...is dickhead back or what....
could be coz for susan top priority is her mother..
maybe the dickhead play drama....act good...back to celebrate with susan...
phone remain off...coz susan will be happily celebrating....no point self interrupt...
must keep reminding self...."SUSAN IS MARRIED"...
intermittent on and the same sms like yesterday...
sms sounds like this may god bless you....what happened...still not home...call me when you are home...
frankly for 8 days self didn't see nor communicate with susan....self miss susan deeply...

07/05/16
today based on chinese calendar is first day of month 4
self wake up early like normal working days despite is weekend...
coz there is a marathon which self participated in....run with the firemens
pray and then to running venue.....wow...looks grand and lots of participants...
self run and run hoping self can get a medal coz medal and cert is limited to top 50 (if not wrong)
self managed to come back to the finish line and collected my medal and cert...YAHOO...THANK GOD..
then in mind is susan....normally when Chinese calendar day 1 and day 15 susan will buy me vegetarian...
back home and on phone...notice susan call me and follow up by sms...
sms sounds like this may god bless you....what happened...still not home...call me when you are home...
self was so touch that without fail susan sms me daily...

05/05/16 - 06/05/16
phone remain off....and on intermittently...
once on my hope is there will be incoming sms from susan...
well my concept and think
if NO sms from susan is norm....who am i...furthermore susan is married..
if there is incoming sms means susan pity me...
but thank god...once on there is incoming sms from susan.

04/05/16
susan is off today....susan son is here to visit susan...
self being the totally ignored one...
coz no sms till at night ard 8:30pm....only ONE sms..
phone remain off....
offday for susan hence self opt for skip lunch and choose to go back an hour earlier...

03/05/16
on phone and saw susan call me a couple of times yesterday night...
as susan unable to get self thru phone...it was follow up with sms...
sms asking what happend...
if self was not wrong...susan is doubt on the pbb banking transaction...
hence call self up to ask about the process....
well....since susan  you are capable to do it all by yourself ....go ahead...
self the being ignored one...hence self avoid going over during lunch time too..
as self avoid going over for susan.....self skip lunch and choose to go back an hour earlier...


02/05/16
is offday too for today but not for susan..
is replacement for yesterday whereby public holiday falls on a sunday...
morning sms from susan...sms invite self for spaghetti lunch..
self rejected it...mentioning self not well..in fact self slightly out today...
then later in the evening got incoming sms from susan as well...
mentioning as for tomorrow PBB trx she can do it by herself..
self feel so upset...i have been doing for months except that dickhead incident month...
it makes me recall back the dickhead incident whereby susan whack me ....
self reply in angry motion...sms sounds like this..."you think i am sick i can't manage it!!!"
susan reply she would like to do it herself...
self was so upset and decided to off the phone...
ok...since you don't need me...this is the consequence...
since phone was off and put in case in crumpler...ready for tomorrow...self don't bother..

01/05/16
is public holiday for today....labour day..
susan on leave for today as well...as norm...when public holiday susan choose not to work..
self assist to pay the electricity bill and self HELP to "swallow" the 10%....
then inform susan bill being paid...wow...notice susan is so frequent on whatspp for the day...
communicate with who...so often...must be the dickhead...coz today is offday for spore as well...
late evening susan call self...invite to go for vegetarian dinner together...
self rejected it,...self rather stay home...
get to know that susan call up david on the cheap investment plan as susan sis wants to invest too..
OMG...where on earth got so cheap investment plan....
is self who remain silent all the while...keep contribute for susan for susan's future...
i am sincere...never hope for return...i want susan to have a good and secure future..

30/04/16
morning sms from susan...sms asking how am i today...am i ok...
actually is a concern or afraid self won't be able to send them to concert...
i don't know the answer...ONLY susan know best...is caring or for herself..
self reply self ok...stick to promise....will send you all to concert..will arrive at 4pm..
ops is dark...self quickly left home and half way on the road heavy rain....
self went up to susan house...lucky dickhead is NOT around...coz self can sense one kind..
wait for rain to get smaller and we left susan house to concert destination..
self alight susan and siblings and self head home..
work and work to pass time in order to wait for susan call ....to pick up after concert..
but self too tired.to carry on waiting .....can't wait further....and went to  bed...
suddenly susan call...and notice is late night close to 12am already...
we chat a while on how ..how to go back....do you need me to come over..
finally susan mentioned they can go home by cab...self noted and back to sleep...

29/04/16
lots of tough and difficult work being assigned to self
self so confuse and doesn't wish to do it....but STILL have to do......
wait for lunch break self went over to meet up with susan..
pass susan her paid maxis bill...
then short chat on tomorrow agenda...
agenda on what time shd self arrive to pick up susan for concert...
towards mid night susan whatspp self friend....
self was not aware self self was too tired and dose off...

28/04/16
no morning greetings from susan...why...what's happening..
no morning and night sms too....self feel one kind and no mood with work..
suddenly toward noon around 11am plus there is one...
yahoo...immediate mood change...back to energetic self ...susan sms is so important ...
self bought millennium cactus drink for susan...
wow is a expensive drink...which self also can't afford to drink...
self reserved all the BEST for susan ONLY...
ONLY SUSAN self willing to sacrifice..but knew that there is NO APPRECIATION from susan..
then lunch break self bring over the millennium drink and pass it to susan
susan accepted it and invite self for lunch...
is been some time since we have lunch together...see how good is $$$...
if got something GOOD self can have lunch date with susan else eat alone.....
we have lunch and at the same time self show the prudential investment plan self bought for susan...
susan mentioned she is lucky...well susan is indeed LUCKY knowing self..

27/04/16
morning sms from susan mentioning she is working today...
self reply thanks for keeping me alert...
self on half day today ....second half to run errand and go jday...
as self is not properly maintain self didn't go over for susan...
time up self left immediately...as self need to go collect cigarette for susan
after collected the cigarette self head home and run second part of the day errand.
again hope got night sms from susan but NIL
for 2 consecutive nights hoping for incoming sms from susan ...but result is NONE...sad self..

26/04/16
morning saw reply on whatspp from susan...
susan on leave today as mentioned in yesterday night whatapp message..
well on leave to look after the mother...
ok self noted...self alone ...
after work home and then proceed to read mantra for self and then for susan and her mother..
hope got night sms from susan but NONE..

25/04/6
is a quiet day at work as most are away for training...
as usual self the being the ignore one remain at office..
wait till lunch break self went over to meet up with susan...
have a short chat and self left..
then around 3:30pm plus susan sms mention she is going home now
going home to look after the mother...
self mentioned ok noted...may god bless your mother..
also mentioned outside is dark and going to rain...make sure carry umbrella...
at night self whatspp asking susan how's her mother condition...
waited but no reply from susan...self too tired and feel asleep...

24/04/16
morning awake ready for another morning marathon...
phone battery dies off...due to waze usage and how now??
cause susan might sms self...
no choice...didn't bring along power bank...hence phone remain off..
then focus on the run...run and run and run...
completed the run and head home...
charge phone and yes...there is incoming sms from susan
self reply incoming sms ....
then around evening...to my surprise incoming sms from susan
sms asking am i ok...after the run and where are you now...
i guess...susan is lonely and no business...hence sms self..otherwise won't bother self..
as courtesy self reply susan....
most important is self must THANK GOD for allowing self to cope for both runs...

23/04/16
morning as usual self will see when is the last sign on by susan
omg...is 2am plus...susan didn't rest....is it due to the mother or the dickhead is back...
self have the feeling susan might be on leave...
and true enough later in the morning around 8am plus self received sms from susan
sms from susan mention she is on leave for a day...
well my six sense is accurate...susan is on leave..
susan's sms make self mood change...why...self being alone..
self console self...got ahead with the marathon....self have to practice days without susan
susan leaving soon...self alone...have to start practicing days without susan...
around evening....self get prepared and head to town for the first time evening run and longer distance too...
omg...is raining...self waited in car until it stops...lucky rain stops when event about the start...
self run and run to the completion...
well...if to pick up susan from work today timing matches too...
exactly ard 710pm self can be at waiting poitn for susan...and we can go back together
but sigh!!!! susan on leave..
self home and clean self up and rest...another run tomorrow morning...
first time 2 consecutive run down the road...saturday and sunday...
at night hoping incoming sms from susan...waited and waited...
suddenly there is an incoming sms...thought is susan but what a disappointment...is not..
intermittent disturb sleep...

22/04/16
is dress down day...self put on clothes bought by susan..
frankly self don't really like the shirt...low quality and feel one kind...
but to respect susan self have it put on..
lunch break self went over to meet up with susan
coincident susan got some customers hence self walk around..
then susan came to me...asking how was yesterday follow up
self told susan self scolded the doctor...
self like an insane person scolded the doctor
self ask the doctor ..... do you know how painful am i..
can you please gave a injection to allow me to rest in peace...
frankly self life in real pain...why i have fallen for susan...susan is married...
now that susan is FIRM leaving self is even more painful...come days how..
susan console me and calm me down...we chat a while and self left..
self told susan tomorrow self got marathon....and if timing is ok can i go back with you, susan
susan ack ok...at night susan whatspp and sms be careful while running...

21/04/16
today is chinese calendar day 15
susan bought me vegetarian meehoon...
self have a full and tasty and last vegetarian breakfast with susan
while having breakfast we chat for awhile...
then self told susan self on half day today...later part of the day to do checkup..
frankly that day self really have head pain...wind in he head i guess...real painful..
on half day actually to run self errand...need to go collect running jersey and bib..
coz self know self can't make it tomorrow and tomorrow is towards weekend ...massive jam..of course..

20/04/16
both of us back to work...as for breakfast self rejected the food but take the drinks.
frankly self feel abit scare with food from susan...non hygienic ....
but no choice...give face hence allow swollen down to throat...
then lunch break self went over and we chat at while and left...

19/04/16
morning awake normal routine is look at phone...
notice susan stay up late to till 2:30am...why...dickhead is back and need a lift???
then found out from conversation with susan that the mother is not well..
susan sleep outside to take care of her mother...
then morning sms and call from susan..
susan ask to prepare resignation letter...she wants to resign and take care of her mother...
self help get letter out and then promise to go for the jungle book movie...
naive self...adhoc emergency leave back to office...
we were together for movie and a meal...then back to susan's home...
self gave the $200 to susan's mother...susan's mother accepted and thank me..
then self head home and started to feel one kind...self feel not well....too weak i guess..
get infected from the too strong virus from susan family...???
proceed to read mantra for self....and upon completion read for susan's mother too...

18/04/16
maybe self was too tired at night hence dose off early..
wake up morning look at phone and found there is one good night and blessing sms from susan
today self plan to go over as self maintenance was done...also self miss susan much already
susan saw me coming and mentioned is been a week we didn't see each other..
ahmm....what does this means...do susan count days too???
honest...is been a week...we didn't meet up..
we have a short chat...then susan mentioned her mother not well....
self being the too kind heart withdraw $200 and went over to give to susan..
susan reluctant to take it...ok..then..self keep it back...
then self send some sms blessing and self home to read mantra,...
self read mantra to bless susan mum too...
then whatspp a while and self dose off...

17/04/16
self slightly weak due to interrupt sleep yesterday night...
then choose to wake slightly 30 mins late...then rush to superhero run
ops...run was postpone...how come i miss it...was not informed..
then head home and rest for a while...
then sms wahab for meet up...is being a year and 3 months self didn't see wahab
the last was CNY 2015 where self pass CNY stuffs...
after meet up with wahab self to head to UM to collect running jersey...
intermittent self look at phone...how come no sms from susan for the day...
susan are you ok...are you working today....from tracking pattern looks like susan is off..
then once arrive at mv...self sms susan...
is not fair only susan sms self...self have to initiate it at times..
susan reply sms and self noted...
then carry on with the IPL program...those hard tough stubborn hair need extra shoots..
self need to consider...due to short of cash at the moment...
hope self can have GOOD result from this IPL...may GOD BLESS self...SUCCESSFUL.
wow is a running errand day...but self is please things run smoothly...
THANK GOD..

16/04/16
is a working weekend for self.due to the fucking volunteer and not appreciate work...
damn it is NOT my work...is some other asshole work...
the console for self is sms from susan...
4 days inclusive of today without fail daily there is greeting and concern sms fom susan
self complete task and head home...no going over for susan...
late night there was 3 surprise sms from susan...
susan send me blessing and susan noted self not been home for 4 days....
susan console me is ok...may god bless me ...
self reply back...is late night already...susan you are tired...have a good rest...
self was so touch with the 3 sms from susan...is TRUE FRIEND or DRAMA...

15/04/16
morning sms from susan asking how am i...am i ok..
second sms sounds like this...do you want meehoon breakfast
third sms...are you working...health ok??
self reply self working...meehoon..i don't want...
susan you enjoy the meehoon breakfast with your other friend of yours instead...
actually this sentence got some meaning behind it if susan can catch it...
coz susan NEVER put me in priority ...self always the last and the reserve one ONLY..
then susan reply..ok noted...you take care
then around evening susan call me...
self ignore her call....then self havecourtesy to call back..
we chat a while...why call me..why...didn't self the last and the less important one..
susan mentioned in the call...come and visit when free...self curious about this???

14/04/16
GOD BLESS there is morning sms from susan...
to avoid no further sms and upset susan...self lower down
self reply back sms...self mentioned is still early go back to rest further..
no reply from susan then....silence throughout the day..
then self curious what susan whatspp self on tuesday
self listen to the voice whatspp and feel hit up with some sentences from susan..
hence delete all the voice whatapp and self create story...
self mentioned to boss self on long sick leave
later susan send me god bless sms..and slightly later in the evening another sms...friend...
self no reply...self ignore it..

13/04/16
bad mood day...self choose to AVOID...
susan sms morning greeting follow by another friend sms
self still hurt hence ignore both sms..
hope susan will further sms me BUT nil then
no susan for the day...no meet up or any communication from self..
but deep in heart self is hoping something from susan...
result is NIL ....sad self..self almost cry in heart..

12/04/16
susan bought me breakfast and we have breakfast together..
then we have some conversion...this conversion makes me HEAT UP...
susan keeps complaining things i gave her...is either this or that no good...
damn it...self utter in heart...is all EXPENSIVE GOOD,  authentic and genuine stuffs..
unlike those stuffs susan gave which is cheap skate stuffs...
if you don't like it then throw it away coz might not suits low class ppl like susan..(heart sentence)
then self ask can firm date for massage...coz earlie susan mentioned can be the 3 week...
then later susan change mind...mentioned she got lots of appointment being arranged...no time..
susan you are such a liar and GOOD in drama....why....self become more and more heatup up...
then we left ...need to began our day at work...self heatup and didn't turn back and wave good bye..
later susan sms mentioned can go on 20/04...FUCK you...what is this...
know that i am angry and change your schedule to suits me...
hey come on...i am not a useless person with no agenda arrange...
self feel so FADE UP with susan...went over and bought choc as promise to deliver it today...
then self mentioned...all things cancel...i don't want to go...
self so angry and left...susan was not happy too...
later susan sms me don't be unhappy over some matters...
then self sms to  reply i won't interrupt you prearrange agenda...
need not postpone your prearrange agenda to suits me..
then susan mentioned lots of rubbish to me....
come on who is WRONG now..
susan i notice you NEVER respect and prioritize me..
sad self and heads down...disturb night...disturb sleep...

11/04/16
self wake up with pain..
still fever and slightly not well...head so pain..
then decide to eat first then follow by shower and off to work...
self decide to take half day..
hence during lunch break went to meet up with susan and mentioned self left..
coz not well....on half day...
susan mentioned noted,...please rest well...

10/04/16
self very sick...phone remain off..
uopn on 3 sms from susan
susan ...i really miss you much..but self have to behave...
coz susan is married to dickhead..and self hate the dickhead MUCH..

09/04/16
self sick ...phone off...upon on...
2 sms from sms

08/04/16
self sick...on MC...

07/04/16
meet up with susan after nearly 2 weeks..
in heart self miss susan much...
but self sense one kind...dickhead is around ..
self keep reminding self....susan is married...
also self NOT in GOOD shape..
honest self feel one kind today and the moment with susan was not so good..
susan mentioned i doesn't look good too..am i ok..?
since today is chinese calendar chou yat self pack vegetarian lunch for susan
self gave and left...self know well the lunch for sure to dustbin...
one kind...self feel fade up with susan...hence sms to inform self sick..
susan reply please take care..and susan construct lots of god bless to me on her way home on lrt
then self reply thru whatspp...actually you have a lot of friend...
less me one is no difference for you susan and i  think you are happy as usual too...
then susan mentioned don't talk rubbish..
susan mentioned she have a lot of friend but i am the SPECIAL one..
haha...SPECIAL...SELF THE SPECIAL stupid idiot i guess...

06/04/16
morning greeting from susan despite susan on leave.
susan call me at 5pm plus..
mentioned she will buy me meehoon tomorrow...
we shall meet up tomorrow..
self feel one kind...how now ....meeting susan tomorrow...
but self not in GOOD shape...
no choice but stick to warning no plucking...to shave only...
at night self whatspp susan public bank bank in slip
self mentioned self won't bluff you susan what mentioned will be done..
actually the sentence have different meaning...
is not to the pbb trx but to the relationship...
self is just a friend..nothing else...coz self remember the dick head incident well...

05/04/16
today morning is different....interview session....
is been close to 20 years self didn't attend interview..
self when for interview at XXX....actually self have no intention to change
self know self well...lots to readjust if there is change...
actually currently is good...but just lack of luck and also being BULLY at work...
then mad rush back to work...rather than waste time idling at home..
self inform susan self can be home today after 5pm..
then phone back to on..
susan ask to rest another day which is tomorrow and start work on thursday..
the same goes to susan...start work on thursday.

04/04/16
self run banking errand for susan
then on phone to inform is done and then phone off...
when phone is turn on saw susan reply
reply sounds like this....cow sister thank you...

03/04/16
self on running errands...to pharmacy to get razor and to collect cake for sis
intermittent phone on and is a SAD one...
NOT even a single sms from susan...self SIGH....
naive self....first time razor user...cut and bleed...
self so confuse and fuss...so how now...continue plucking or IPL...

02/04/16
do nothing ...just a naive self idling at home...
time wasted doing nothing....
intermittent phone on and saw one sms...
just ONE simple sms from susan...friend...
self behave...no response...dickhead around...
can't do much but just smile and phone off then....

01/04/16
back to work...self seems to have loss working mood...
why...is it because of susan not around OR self fade up with work...
since nothing much...self skip lunch and choose to go back early...
back home self intermittent on phone...and what a coincident....susan call me...
self no choice but pick up phone...
we spoke a while and follow with a couple of sms...
then self offline and phone off...
self have to behave and bear in mind....susan is married...
susan now in XX happily with dickhead...no disturb ...please behave..

31/03/16
yesterday reach home at 10pm. plus and self too tired.....
so took another day off...
besides that self also need to go for IPL treatment....
May GOD bless me...hope the IPL treatment works for self...
intermittent self on phone...yes...there is ONLY ONE sms from susan..

30/03/16
self at spore already...then run errand...the main objective to spore...
do withdrawal....then have slice fish rice and then to depart back to kl
ops..is not a direct bus...is transit to jb and fucking long wait for another bus...
what a damn long wait at jb...suck...will be home late then...
and self the squeeze one sitting right at the back...
back home with swollen knee due to no movement and tight space...
but anyway is a bless trip back home...THANK GOD...
on intermittent self on phone..there are 2 sms from susan...

29/03/16
susan mentioned on yesterday night conversation that she is on leave today as well..
self noted ...as susan is off self slightly busy to run errands...
since susan on leave to XXX dickhead hometown self on leave too..
self run self errand...get rail ticket..and top up card at the same time...
at night self on rail to spore...to spore objective to withdrawal $$ for new house..
no communication from susan...neither is any sms from susan.
since no contact as susan is happily with dickhead self off phone and on night rail trip to spore

28/03/16
morning susan sms to inform she is on leave...
self feel one kind already...why on leave...on long leave coming wed...
must be the dickhead is back...need to have XX together..
self ack the sms and silent then...
since then self run errand ...went over to lawyer firm to sign SPA
then shop around for uv umbrella for susan...hoping can pass to susan tomorrow..
then around 6pm++ susan call....it was a miss call...
then self call back around 7pm++....we chat a while..
from conversation knew that the mother and susan herself not well...
hence the adhoc MC and on leave...
then self ask how is both condition now...may GOD bless you all...
susan reply....better...may GOD bless us...the us including myself..
then self mentioned...upon safe arrival in sabah pls notify me...
also on the third of each month  trx to be performed at bank...
need not worry...i will get it done for you...


27/03/16
morning marathon....then back home to run errands for susan
get additional 8 pieces of towel for susan...all nicely organised in a storage box..
as usual is not appreciated and comment....
pick up and send home is my intention but susan invite for dinner...
despite reject susan still invite hence sit down and we have vegetarian dinner...
suddenly the dickhead appear as a topic and self feel one-kind...
want to vomit and chest pain...why....why the drama...
caribee please behave...NOT FUNNY here...
susan is married to DICKHEAD....the FACT...accept it...

26/03/16
susan on traunt at work...took mc...
is not sick...pretending....just want to rest
self unable to resist but went over and have breakfast together..
then went to get some praying stuffs...as tomorrow is kwan yin day....
then sit for a while and left...the sisters are coming and susan need to pack off to dickhead hometown

25/03/16
morning we have breakfast together....
self gave susan $3K from self bonus...
susan was touch...but self know this is just DRAMA...

24/03/16
bought susan a casio watch....
susan ask to pass to her but self  avoid going back at 630pm with susan
coz susan is off to somewhere...self better not to know so much hence avoid..

23/03/16
self went for eye checkup...lucky not gluocoma
is just bacteria infection...
then later noon went to susan house...
then we off for kungfu panda movie....
after miss and avoid 2 animation movie finally have the chance to see movie with susan
we shop around too....

22/03/16
susan busy with stock take...ask movie seating and left...
initially sms at night we have lunch togehter but later plan change
if self not wrong sms is not to self....is to someone else..
coz self went ovee the second round and due to heavy rain can't go back..
susan ask to wait and go off with her suring lunch break @ 2pm...
susan going over to XXXX lunch with someone else but not self...
hence from here self know lunch date sms is NOT for self.

21/03/16
bought me breakfast we eat together...
self eye problem...told susan  self half day today...
then lunch break went to see susan to pass her the roadshow timetable template and left
susan care...follow up on how am i after consulting  doctor...

19/03/16
morning concern from susan...asking how am i
self reply...self in slight pain..but can bear the pain...
if actual fact self really in pain..self feel one kind...
then around noon self of to xx to collect running shirt and bib...
damn it ...loss the way...and waste money...
well today things just running well and smooth...eye twitching too...
hence self sms susan ...inform self not well..we cannot go back together tonight...
susan reply sms...mentioned take care and may god bless...
susan thousand apologies...self force to avoid you ....for self safety reason...
better avoid to stay on the safe side...stay at home is the best solution...

18/03/16
is friday...dress down day...
self wore the clothes bought by susan...
honest the shirt look one kind to me...but wore for susan to see only...
we have a short brief chat and self leave...
offline then...no communication then and at night...

17/03/16
morning greetings from susan...
self reply morning and follow with some good greetings to susan...
initial self  have no plan to meet up with susan....but force to...
coz got order which self have long delay and self promise to deliver it today...
hence no choice but to go over to meet up with susan
self help bought some to help boost sales for susan...
then susan bought me drink...susan sip a mouth and self drink the rest...
then self back to work...suddenly susan call self again...
invite self for lunch .....self attended...we have lunch together...
at lunch table self promise susan self will behave...no more not good sentences...
then self left an hour early to do self maintenance...
coz tomorrow want to look better in front of susan..

16/03/16
nothing great...susan on leave....
susan sms early morning and follow by a call...
call request self NOT to mention bad things...
is approaching month 3 and is not a good time to mention bad things...
suddenly self have fear and promise susan to behave...
thanks susan for guidance ...yes is true...not the time to mention not good things..
susan on leave to go mid valley with colleagues...self was left alone...
self get to know it thru another colleague of susan...
coz that colleague ask am i going ....i was blur...go where...
from there i knew susan offday destination is mid valley...

15/03/16
feeling better...hence lunch break went over to see susan
is been days...self miss susan...we have a short chat...
self was pale too today but not as pale as yesterday...
as self is late due to work load self choose to wait and go back with susan
we back together...HAPPY....we have hand touch...
HONEST we were HAPPY...and at night we whatspp each other for a while...

14/03/16
is monday.....extra early sms from susan ...around 7:10am...
morning greetings and ask do i want red bean dessert...
self reply thanks ..i don't need food today...not well...
coz self look sick today...extra pale....due to XXX
hence to avoid is the best solution....
later there is sms from susan,,,asking how am i...
self reply...self in deep pain...blood count low...
susan reply go see doctor or call your brother to come and see you..
self then reply...self is an orphan...self need no sympathy...
self only share joy and not sadness...
at night self waited and waited but no sms from susan...sad self..

13/03/16
self went for marathon....run and run to complete my KM
upon completion check phone status...
sad...no sms from susan...
then home for next event.....
ops suddenly sms from susan...
sms reads ...how are you friend...
self reply back....friend...good morning...
then we offline for hours...no communication then...
self look pale and tired...coincident  xx is here..lucky xx came after the marathon..
SELF MISS SUSAN MUCH....

12/03/16
is a bored bored day for self...
doing nothing...just wasting the day at home...
ballon fiesta trip to cancel...
deep in heart self miss susan much
have no intention to pick up susan too...self feel one kind..
but can't cheat self...self miss susan much
suddenly there is a sms ...surprise sms from susan
susan sms reads....friend...
i reply back...friend...have a good rest..need not care for me..
i am in deep pain and i don't need sympathy...
susan reply may GOD bless...

11/03/16
bored day....susan need to go on leave coz the mother is not well..
bored day for self...work and back home and sleep..
we did sms each other but is sms on susan's mother health condition.
god bless...susan's mother is back to normal...healthy...

10/03/16
is offday for both of us...
initially self have fear if self might have to cancel the massage appointment
coz self feel XX is coming...tender breast, cramp leg and etc..
self pray hard in heart hope self can cross the day smoothly...
finally is a smooth day.....susan and self manage to reach destination
then we have our massage program...for times we were naked...
but self is a decent person...i respect susan...i won't peep...i won't see..
must behave well...susan is married...self hate the DICKHEAD..
after massage we have light meal at shop and back home for fried meehoon
then self excuse self ...need to go back.....self feel one kind already...
we were happy....SELF THANK GOD MOST for the SMOOTH DAY.

09/03/16
is chinese calendar the first day of month two
self greet susan and THANKS god for blessing...
then susan bought me vegetarian breakfast..
we eat together...we were happy....
lunch break self went over for a short moment to arrange tomorrow agenda and left..

08/03/16
today lunch break self have no intention of meeting up with susan
however notice that pm will be visiting susan's work place..
self went over to ensure susan's safety....
all turn to pm crowd except self and susan
from far we together watch the arrival of pm
then knowing susan is safe self went back over to complete the day..

07/03/16
morning friend greetings from susan
self reply back ...morning friend...
then susan how am i feeling today...
self reply...need not worry about me...
susan reply noted...please take care of self...
then around 10am plus another surprise sms from susan
mentioned another 3 days we are going out...
yes...another 3 days...we were together...aren't we HAPPY...
then lunch break self went over for a short while...
then susan mentioned tomorrow pm will be here...
doesn't know where is safe or not...
self promise susan self will standby for susan...
if anything call me immediately...
then self back to office to search pm news...
nothing...then self went offline and back to work...

06/03/16
nothing special..wasting time at home...
morning out to find the actually marathon location before decide to register or not...
then home....suddenly sms from susan..
is concern sms from susan asking how am i
if fever go see doctor...
self reply susan you need not care for me...go ahead with your busy routine..
then on...nothing special...silent from both parties...
self idling around and clear some paper work...
gosh what a weekend...wasting time doing nothing...

05/03/16
celebrate brother kenneth's birthday
then ruch back home to complete daily routine...
then rush down to pick up susan
is just a pick up and send susan home..
despite invitation self reject offer to go up...
coz this timing ...who knows..dickhead is back for fucking...
self choose to avoid...then drive home and rest...

04/03/16
finally self decided the wear the clothing bought by susan
all the while self hestitate to wear...my personal opinion ...the clothing looks dump on self..
but to respect susan self wore it..
but things turn out different....colleagues all complement self...look very different today..
self inform susan ...self got complement from colleagues self look so different today..
susan mentioned of course...the cloth is bought by me...
susan also mentioned she is good in clothes matching...
self just accept without further say...but in fact is so dump look and low class..
since self look so different susan snap a few photo of myself...
then also invite me for lunch together...vegetarian lunch....
well..well....well...is a good day...

03/03/16
is thursday....back to normal routine...both of us working..
self wait till lunch break and went over to meet up with susan
ops susan not around...self have fear already...then self call..
here comes susan...susan notice self not in so so good condtion..
susan mentioned tomorrow she very busy...need to run banking errands..
i mentioned banking issue let me run the errand for you...
susan mentioned cannot...you look tired and pale hence i dare not call you..
then self mentioned self is ok...can run the errand on your behalf...
susan agreed and invite me to have lunch together afterward at 2pm..
then self quickly perform the banking trx and have lunch with susan
we were happy and enjoying our meal...main course and then follow by light snacks..

02/03/16
susan on leave..but despite on leave susan did follow up on me...
asking how am i today...self reply back ...
then around evening susan follow up again...
in deep appreciation of susan caring...
frankly is been days with susan...self miss susan much...

01/03/16
phone remain off....also behave during lunch break...
no susan for the day...
but half way self was force to on the phone for work purposes..
coincident with the on...susan call in...
self dare not pick up the call...
as call not pick up susan follow up with an sms...
then with courtesy self call susan back...
we spoke for a long while....THANKS susan for the caring...
then back to work...fuck....damn it...all hard work to dustbin
no only that...have to stay till fucking late at 8:30pm...

29/02/16
avoid susan by having phone off..
then self noticed susan was on leave yesterday due to mc..
mc not well...but actually is susan need a rest...not sick
notice still susan is the one who cares for me...
despite phone off...susan still sms and call me..to check on self..
self behave during lunch break...no susan...
got work from boss...we have discuss and self home to work on it..
but the fucking boss don't get me....blasted me with rude sms...
deep in heart self miss susan much...
but still have no intention to on the phone..
on intermittently to check on susan incoming sms and calls..

28/02/16


27/02/16


26/02/16
is a tired friday for self....due to yesterday sleepless night...
tired and warm body with dry lips persist...
self look weak and dam tired...tired look with tired eyes...
meet up susan and have short chat...
then susan mentioned next time my appointment you need not follow...
well what is the meaning behind it...am i bothering or disturbing...or is too tiring for me..
hence self sms back to inform..i won't join any of your personal appointment in future...
i am not a person with thick skin...without invitation i won't come...
despite invitation i might not come either...self fire back susan with this sms..
also told susan need not worry...i won't interrupt your personal appointment...
also i don't need people to sympathize me...don't waste time..
ONLY I CAN RESCUE MYSELF...
i guess both party (self and susan) slightly hurt...
no communication then...no reply from susan neither...

25/02/16
today self offday...initially off to go for massage
but later plan change...instead of massage it become interview...
susan leaving for better post....self feel the pain...
coz coming days will be tough without susan around me...
self went to susan house...have lunch and then send susan over for interview..
WOW....susan is so beautiful....self almost drool...susan look so elegant.
is a totally different look....wow...so damn beautiful...
self guide susan thru at least have a feel what will be questioned...
waited and waited and finally susan new boss is here...
interview process on....from here self notice susan like to pretend...
pretend and good in drama too....self loss to susan on this point...
after interview we went to publika for good food...
ops...self uncertain road and get loss along the way...
finally we reach destination and  joining us is 2 other colleagues of susan
we have pricey food for dinner and delicious cake...
then self send susan home and self home then..
back home self was sick...whole body feel warm and sleepness night...
self know self best...self can't take certain food and is too late which pass my bed time..

24/02/16
morning sms from susan...meehoon for breakfast...
self reply morning....well...keep for tomorrow instead...
susan reply ok noted.....also ask am i ok...why didn't you go home yesterday night...
self reply don't worry...i am ok...fine here..
lunch time self went over for a short chat for tomorrow itinerary...
susan mentioned tomorrow she needs to go post office to settle tnb bill
as there is some discrepancies then home to cook rice...
self noted....then back to office to settle susan tnb issue...
self call the careline to understand the scenario behind and help settle the outstanding..
then wrap up the rest as tomorrow self is off

23/02/16
early morning told susan need not buy me breakfast today..
not well...vomit...which starts yesterday night and till today morning...
susan ack and ask me to pray hard...
around 11am plus susan sms to ask how am i...self reply i am ok..
while working self steal time to do susan resume...
finally done and pass a copy to susan for review
self was sad....susan leaving...self how then...
around 6:40pm susan back home time...susan sms to inform she leaving now..
are you ok...may god bless me...
self reply ok...susan may you have a safe journey home...
have your dinner and rest well...
susan also mentioned we shall go for massage on the 10/03/16...
tomorrow massage got to postpone due to tight schedule...
susan also mentioned go home and rest if work is done for the day...
well...susan treat me extra good today...
if is self sick and susan sympathize me...

22/02/16
today is day 15 of CNY...
morning greetings from self to susan via whatspp
wow...susan reply me thru sms...extra early...before 6am..
mentioned she will buy me vegetarian meehoon...
wait for her to come..and later susan call me to come down...
self eat alone as susan have eaten...
then susan pass me her previous working testimonial...
well...get to know more of susan working experience..
at night susan whatspp me her resume...
from her self know more about susan...
stop at primary level and proceed to working...
just a quick browse thru and once i saw the word Mr. Tan...self stop...
must be the dickhead...stop and to sleep...

21/02/16
morning sms from susan...friend...self reply morning friend...
then susan ask where am i...self reply if i am ok..ard noon plus i can go home..
then self left here and run self weekend errands...
ops there is a miss call....self noticed it only when self is home..
later self call back susan....we chat for a while...
at times self wonder...does susan really cares or drama..
coz susan is NOT a simple person...very good in drama....
at evening self receive whatspp location from susan...publika solaris dutamas..
why there...is high end location..may there to do her XXX task...
self didn't bother much then....must stop knowing more of susan...
must put to a STOP my relationship with susan...
susan do what and at where is NONE of my business...

20/02/16
susan sms me couple of blessing sms...
sms was noticed only today as self was one kind yesterday night...feel so depressed...
morning susan send another sms asking am i ok...
self reply hours later mentioned self not ok...apologies for the inconvenient caused...
susan send a couple of blessing sms again and self ack susan's good deed...
then later in the evening susan call me...we chat for a while
susan mentioned yesterday she notice myself not well already...my lips and myself was unstable...
yes..honest self was one kind yesterday coz self feel so loss...coz susan is leaving...deep cut on myself..
then before susan left for work and heading for gathering dinner...susan sms me to take care...
self reply noted...will be good...will listen to your advise...
meanwhile self move on to brother kenneth topic...
i whatspp brother kenneth is he knows anyone who service kembara car...
then brother kenneth whack me back....asking me am i conscious with what i am doing...
what sort of relationship between me and susan....
brother kenneth ask me a simple question...to determine my relationship...
how do you feel when susan with the husband....at first i mentioned i will choose to avoid all this situations...
then honestly i reply...very honest...i will jealous...i am very jealous...i hate the dickhead..
from this answer brother kenneth have my answer already and whack me back SERIOUSLY..
yes...what brother kenneth says is true...is bad karma...stop the relationship...
but why...why susan...why susan appeared in my life...why...is it faith or karma..!!!

19/02/16
morning greeting and breakfast message from susan
self greeted susan back and acknowledge that i am ok to have breakfast today..
susan was happy and ask to wait for her to come...
self noted...hence around time self went down and wait for susan arrival..
self eat alone as susan have eaten...
then back to work and about lunch time self went over
quite a long chat...self reluctant to go...coz self miss susan much..
susan decided to take up the new job offer...
self support susan but deep in heart self feel the pain...deep cut
finally the day i afraid most is here...
susan is leaving...how am i going to carry on the coming days...
in front of susan self pretend....deep in heart..honest...i am in pain..
susan mentioned she was off yesterday and call upon colleagues over to her house to gamble and enjoy..
i was not call coz tomorrow there is one coming....susan invited me for tomorrow gathering in fact...
also susan mentioned afraid i don't know her colleagues crowd and keep silent...
so tomorrow planning was to pick susan back from work and we go for steamboat...
however at night self feel one kind....self have to practice days without susan...
also self know self is the loser and might jxxx susan's boss hence self AVOID and excuse self off...
excuse self off with bad reason...self sick...got blood...going to see doctor now...

18/02/16
self feel too weak and tired to go to work...
donkey years and donkey work but not appreciated...
hence reported XX and run long pending errands..
complete the banking errand which is the top most important
then the remaining errands..ranging from shares to postage...
as usual on and off self monitor susan.....sign on pattern looks like is working...
is susan working or off...self uncertain...
then with left over time...to do self maintenance ....have to look neater...
coz tomorrow need to meet up with susan...
at night self sign on  to whatspp which self was offline for days..
sign on and a simple message to susan.....however no reply from susan..
susan was online since 7pm plus then was idle...
self can't bother much.....too tired...dose off..

17/02/16
morning greeting from susan....
indeed self was happy when susan send me morning greetings...
susan offer breakfast....self rejected it...
self have to start practice days without susan...
coz susan leaving self soon....
susan offer lunch too...initially self agree then quickly reject offer..
to avoid if can...dickhead incident ringing in my head...
no meet up...self choose to AVOID...

16/02/16
lunch time self choose to avoid.....the dickhead hit me hard...
at night receive sms from susan..
but self not aware coz self was too tired...dose off...
sms mentioned friend didn't go home for 2 days...
does susan really cares or is just drama...

15/02/16
wait for lunch time and we meet up
pass newspaper and susan new work location...
self did some research work for susan and pass to susan her new working location
susan thanks me....self smile and left...nothing much...
coz self still feel the bias treatment from susan....

14/02/16
at early as 1:50 am self wake up...to run stupid errand..
at 2.55am self arrived susan's house...
pick up susan and prostitute and then pick up another prostitute's friend...
then lead me back to main road and on our journey to airport.
send off the prostitute and left susan and self walk around and have breakfast
is still CNY environment and we took a few photos together...we were happy indeed...
then back to carpark and to go home..OMG...what happen..car can't start..
panic...car broke down...nervous as susan around with me...
start calling brother kenneth for help ...but too early not even 6am yet...
brother kenneth's phone is off...then call again at the right time...
brother kenneth advise me and guide me thru..doesn't seems to help much...
finally self call the car manufacturer helpline for assistance...waited for 4 hours...
while waiting self apologies to susan for the unexpected  problem...
as nothing can be done...susan have a nap in the car and self wait patiently...
finally car battery change and we on the way home...
on our way home we spoke about the topic.....susan going to change work soon...
leaving xx and going xxx....self feel so painful....finally the day i afraid most is here....
reach susan house..self went up and have meehoon fry by susan ..
then seeing the "painful" self situation and  bias treatment from susan self feel uncomfortable..
self politely inform susan self not well and cancel the movie session and self left...
back home the "uncomfortable" self for the rest of the day...SAD...
ringing hard in head the dickhead incident....and susan leaving self soon...
how am i going to survive for the rest of the days....

13/02/16
self back to office ...no choice but to drive ...coz got hamper to send..
back for some minor task and meet up with susan...as susan have bought me breakfast...
today is susan first day back to work after CNY break ...
then promise to pick up susan at 6:30pm from work..
send susan home...dare not go up despite offer...
afraid bump into dickhead and prostitute which self hates..
alight susan and self home...communicated a while on tomorrow agenda...
actually is a stupid agenda ...sending the prostitute...
both self and susan have to sleep early...
coz self have to be at susan house at 3am tomorrow...
good night and rest early my friend susan....

12/02/16
quite day for self despite is a friday...
self fade up with asshole taking away my simple task and load me with sicking work...
NOT FAIR....use my weakness to hit me...
suddenly around noon received sms from susan..
susan sms mentioned i will wait for you at 2pm....at subway...
i was caught by surprise....why 2pm...is susan working...
understand that susan only starts work tomorrow...
susan inform she is still off...here in town with sis to shop around...
only start work tomorrow...
since is new year time and afraid self can't control myself....
coz myself hate seeing the dickhead and prostitute
hence self choose to avoid...mentioned self got meeting unable to meet up for lunch...

11/02/16
morning greetings sms from susan....wow why so early...is still susan rest day
susan reply early coz going out for CNY visiting ...
since cny eve till now daily susan either sms or whatspp me without fail...
can say susan is my motivator for the day...
surprise...got call from brother kenneth...
brother kenneth is back in town...invite me out for lunch too...
ops self too rough bang brother kenneth car door against a motorbike..
then went for lunch and get summons too....
brother need to renew road tax and self lead brother kenneth to the wrong location
oh .....wheat a day with brother kenneth...all the wrong moves...
while evening...since bosses not around....self sneak out to get concert ticket for susan
what a NAIVE self...this is not right against my work...
walk all the way just to run errand for susan...
but for sure is NEVER appreciated...

10/02/16
cny day 3...self start working already...
majority still on leave as usual....enjoying...including susan who is still on leave...
quite day at work ...nothing special...
no communication with susan too...
never thought that there will be whatspp or sms...
but surprise...coz at night but self already asleep...
there is a simple whatspp communication from susan...
happy monkey icon...hahaha...

09/02/16
susan home is full on fun today...
brother and sisters and everyone unite at home ...happy together...
while self the naive one...in cold storage....
susan mentioned today got special draw....self offer to help buy on behalf..
help buy CNY lottery...hope we will win...
if win we shall go for holiday trip...
but is just all nice words....winning lottery is not easy
self dare not disturb as susan is happily with the family and relatives crowd...
nothing much for self but get prepared for back to work tomorrow...

08/02/16
CNY day 1....morning greeting from me to susan...
all the good wishes to susan...
also mentioned i am on bike home now....
susan reply me and wish me a bless journey home...
THANKS susan...yes...a BLESS trip...THANK GOD MOST..
then have once a year xtra oily vegetarian meal...then idle around doing nothing...
then hours later sms to inform susan i am home safely....
THANK GOD and THANKS susan i am home safely...
susan call to ask me to come over to her house and join them for lunch and dinner...
self rejected it...this is NOT the CORRECT timing for self to appear...
hence self rejected it and mentioned self tired and need rest....
nothing much on CNY Day 1....just wait for relatives to come...
then back to storage in the room...wait for night to come and zzzzz


07/02/16
is cny eve....the happy day in my life...i use to like cny eve...
wow surprise...is an extra early sms from susan...
i was caught be surprise too....is as early as 6:30am..
susan wish me a  the best and a safe and bless journey home...
self thanks susan much...and we communicated for a while...
despite susan's family members all back today for reunion ....i am not the forgotten one...
told susan self will be leaving around 4pm ...journey back to hometown...
however at night after hours....susan sms me...friend...
is it that susan worry about self or what....self feel so touch...
then self reply back...i am home safely and now out for reunion dinner myself..
then susan sms me ...have conversation....talk to them....
self read thru the sms and didn't reply...
is eve...susan happy with family...especially when the XX and XX is with susan..
meanwhile the sad self cold storage in the  room...
cannot go temple....coz XXX....no convenient...
hence the CNY eve pass and CNY the next day...

06/02/16
no intention to go back to office despite some work...
is just volunteer work and no appreciation...
hence idle at home...what a boring day...
no work...day wait for night to come version...
mood change too due to xxx coming....
susan off too....yesterday the drama day was the last...
susan knew self not happy....
bit things change when there is a good morning sms from susan
morning greetings from susan makes me happy...


04/02/16
self on half day....have to go on half day....
need to run errands...

03/02/16
run banking errands for susan...
then gave receipt of banking transaction...
what a STUPID dickhead...gave me the wrong account number...
lucky self is SMART ...perform a upfront inquiry on account number first...
then in order to boost sales self buy 4 packs and sell at a loss from orders received..
since self is selling it cheap there is additional order ...additional 2 more..
then self went over...susan not around...hence self go to level 7 instead...
susan was there...in the midst of purchasing some stuffs together with a group of bitches..
self call susan and susan tell me to buy from here...cheaper...
self waited for susan to finish...wait and wait..and finally susan forgotten that i am still around..
so bad of susan...left me alone and she bitchy her way with gang of gossip colleagues...
feel so reckless...and back to office to complete my heavy workload...
DAMN IT....self with good intention help to boost sales...but end up being left behind.
if someone else susan will use her horny way to get the business...
should have know is all DRAMA....self dislike the bitchy and  horny susan....

02/02/16
odd feeling for susan continues from yesterday night...
suddenly dislike susan ....so dramatic type of person...
lunch break we meet up for a short while...
then self back to work....due to work load self back slightly late
no doubt can wait for susan and back together..but self choose to AVOID...

01/02/16
it was a continue whatspp from susan since 31/01/16
as self was too tried self miss the late whatspp message...
look into it this morning...
also inform susan self is back in KL safely...GOD BLESS.
susan ask me to off phone and have a GOOD rest first...
once she has completed her spring cleaning susan will call me
call me to come over and have dinner together..
self noted the message...hence waited and waited...
finally we meet up at 5pm....
susan bought me 2 piece of new shirt and 1 pants..
OMG so UGLY and china look...but accept it without OFFENDING susan..
then to dinner and send susan and family home
suddenly self have ODD thought on susan...DIRTY BITCH,,,
therefore when back whatspp to inform self back safely and no further communication...

31/01/16
wake up early...get ready and is time to go back home...
once packing done and everyone is ready ...we are on our journey back to KL
send 9uncle home and we are home finally...
then the day passes with self doing the needful...
then at night whatspp communication with susan
told susan i am home tonight as assignment was accomplished...
susan wish me luck and safe journey home...
self THANKS susan...
susan also mentioned upon arrival in KL do let her know...
self acknowledge and will inform the next day...
as i might reach KL midnight whereby susan is asleep...
is not nice to disturb susan sleeping...
self THANKS susan for her caring concern....THANKS...

30/01/16
nothing much...pack and ready to leave singapore
finally peep at XX to confirm the hello kitty kitkat offer price...
as to avoid the carrying we plan to buy at jem...
OMG...SHIT....at jem outlet is all sold out...hence rush back to XXX to buy...
what a NAIVE self....is ONLY for susan...the rest is not worth this sacrifice...
back to jb....nothing much...no communication as there is no wifi...
top priority in JB is to check out on yellow buddy who was alone in JB for 2 days...
go and have a peep and meticulous check....yellow buddy looks fine...
THANK GOD for the BLESSING...yellow buddy is FINE and OK...
since no WIFI access self sms to susan...just mentioned then needful only...
then back to room to rest ....rest early as we are leaving at 6am tomorrow

29/01/16
shop around and have good meal in singapore
bought CNY monkey plush toy for susan
to me getting the monkey plush toy is top priority but knew the outcome...
is just another garbage for susan...i knew it...is just garbage...
uncle looks tired and weak...self pity uncle...
meanwhile learn to know that kkf is a sneaky person..
keeps asking for money and demand good food from 9 uncle...
so bad of kkf.....what a sneaky and useless person...
while shopping come across a special edition of kitkat choc..is hello kitty
hence self ask susan if she is interested....
susan reply YES..she loves it very much...please help her to buy 4 cans..
also get to know is there is a immediate change on whatspp profile picture to hello kitty...
according to susan lots of people applause her on the nice hello kitty profile picture...
it was a long HAPPY chat with susan....
ok promise to help susan buy 4 cans of hello kitty special edition kitkat choc...
self smile in sleep...

28/01/16
yahoo...stress free day...holiday....heading to singapore.....
left home at 5.30am...pick up 9uncle and our journey begins...
have fun in singapore....
then at night back to hotel...communicate with susan via whatspp...
it was a late communication hence no reply from susan
if not wrong no reply coz already susan is asleep....

27/01/16
happiness continues today
morning susan bought me breakfast
today is a run errands day too ...errands for susan again...
is the new notes exchange process once more...
lunch break we meet up...we chat for a while...
then self back to work...wrap up work ASAP
told susan we can't got back together tonight...
susan you go ahead first...i will be late...
in fact self left an hour early to be home for packing
spore CNY trip tomorrow morning....

26/01/16
it was a running errands day..
queue up to exchange new notes for susan
the make a trip to maybank to deposit $
deposited a total of $1600 to susan's maybank account
breakdown as follows $800 as CNY angpow for susan
and another $800 as CNY angpow for susan mother..
then lunch break self bring over bill payment receipt and photos...
finally self gave susan the 2 deposit slip nicely wrap in a monkey angpow..
self told susan this is self sincere token of appreciation for susan and her mum...
susan accepted and gift and self tell susan self come at 6:30pm to fetch her back..
wait for me a normal waiting place and we shall go home together...
coz bulk amount of new notes and heavy 6 cans of QOO..
self have to ensure susan safety.....
then susan invite self for dinner at her house...ops...in heart self have worries...
i still remember clearly the dickhead incident...
but the comfort is that susan mentioned no one at home...
hence with this word self went up and have dinner together..
then short chat and clear up the new notes exchange process..
frankly susan and myself WERE VERY HAPPY today...

25/01/16
public holiday but self back to office ...
back NOT for work...but for personel stuffs..
cut photos and laminate it for susan and for cousin too...
nothing special...second half of the day was bored....
minutes later after lying down onbed susan call me...
we chat for a while and susan ask to help run errands...
bill payment and exchange new notes for coming CNY

24/01/16
nothing special....run CNY errands...
also today is day 15 of chinese calendar...
another 15day to CNY....
no communication with susan until late evening...
late evening..there is a sudden whatspp from susan..
later around 6.40pm.....susan go home time...susan call me..
susan told me is a picture of her daughter...look so beautiful...
self open the picture....OMG.....the prostitute daughter...so horny....
then at night we chat a while...topic is on the prostitute...
the prostitute is back for cny....need internet access...
susan ask me for help....self...should have suspected something...
no call....of course if there is call....the call is for work....
hence self browse around for broadband services for a short term..
ONLY for susan...if OTHERS self definitely won't entertain....

23/01/16
again self help to boost sales...
bought another 8 boxes and sell at a loss...
today is self unlucky day..coz.
parking ticket chip roll....and can't be found...
hence pay a hefty fine of $50 to get a new chip to exit...
SIGH....what a day....

22/01/16
susan bought me meehoon breakfast...
susan pass me breakfast and some Chinese herbs and left...
coz today is members' day...no time..to entertain me...
susan bless may her sales grow for the day...
self the idiot one of course...help boost sales...
buy from order received and sell at a loss to help susan...
self bought nothing on members day except help susan boost sales...
this boost sales process already took up all my time...so messy...

21/01/16
erghh...back to work...after yesterday day of joy...
nothing much at work...no mood to work too..
wait for lunch break and went to see susan....
short chat and self left....
some communication with susan at night...

20/01/16
self on leave to go message with susan
massive jam while entering the junction to susan house
being courteous enough self call to inform slightly late...
finally arrive susan house...pick up ONLY ...and then our agenda for the day...
it is a good one...self really get to relax....stress free...
susan like the package much hence self bought a package for susan...
susan THANK me much....self mentioned NO NEED...
NO NEED as we are friend....NONE CALCULATIVE...
self enjoy much with susan's presence...
HONEST ...WE WERE HAPPY...
But don't over do....susan is MARRIED...must remember this point...

19/01/16
morning busy with KPI thing...
not worth it....work i DO but end up NOTHING....DAMN IT...
lunch break when over to see susan...
susan busy ...short chat and self left...
then towards evening bring over some angpow packet for susan
then snap photo of product to help susan boost sales
self always the idiot...buy and sell at a loss...

18/01/16
due to work load self stay till 6:30pm to be back with susan
susan almost miss me OR want to AVOID me...
susan whack me for yesterday 3 miss call and no reply on sms
is it WRONG for not replying...susan whack me for not replying her..
mentioned that i have no manners...
come on...who is indecent NOW !!!  horny bitch !!!
self feel unhappy with susan and didn't whatspp susan on my home safe arrival...
no communication at all then...

17/01/16
at midnight or sunday morning @ 2.47am...receive sms from susan
back from dinner...boss coming on the 20/01/16...can our appointment postpone...
WHAT THE FUCK......
dinner until midnight....my prediction was true....
after dinner go fuck with the management and back at this timing...
at times i feel susan is so "dirty"....what a horny bitch...
postpone appointment....actually i don't feel like going with susan..
self want to AVOID if can...

16/01/16
dull day for self...go nowhere...waste time doing nothing at home...
susan attending company dinner tonight...
of course susan will be at her horniest...

15/01/16
self still feel NOT FAIR treatment ...
hence hard and soft talk with XX......looks like no hope....
agree with XX on one point ONLY....must learn credit to enhance self knowledge...
susan busy with work...self help out a bit and left...
susan call to ask help print out work register.....upon seeing the register...sudden pain in head...
why so much leave...the first point i can think off is on leave to fuck with the dickhead..
sigh.....non of my business....self AVOID if can...
susan is horny bitch....self AVOID....self is a BANKER...

14/01/16
early morning open the miss whatspp message from susan since yesterday night//
is message to the dickhead instead of me...
susan sounds so horny ...what a horny message to the dickhead...
self listen to it twice and the deleted it...so bitchy...
lucky that i miss it yesterday night.....else is a sleepless night and the day will be disturb
yes true enough my day was disturb....
i change my whatapp profile page status to something more "meaningful"
sounds like this "DON'T WASTE TIME. CHOOSE TO LET GO"
suddenly got morning message from susan asking what am i posting ....
whack me for writing nonsense.....
later susan sms mentioned she forgive me...have a good rest...
at work self spoke to XX and found she is NOT willing to help me...
hence be brave and went to see XXX...yet another failure...
XXX whack me back...my work is nonsense and useless...
what a heart pain message...dull day....
stay a bit to go back with susan objective to pass her things..
self rather pass at weekdays 7pm instead of weekend 7pm..
self know self weaknesss...AVOID if can..
along the way back with susan self just keep quite...dull due to too much failure for the day...
dull day....rest early...no point do additional when it just end up with FAILURE only...

13/01/16
is wednesday...susan on leave...
meanwhile phone still off...but force to on intermittently for work purposes...
while on saw susan sms....sounds like this....you still not home ....
why bother myself home or not...is none of your business..
finally at night decide to on phone...
on phone and we chat a while...communicate via whatspp too...
i miss the 2 final whatspp communication...due to too tired..
IS FORTUNATE AND GOOD THAT I MISS IT..

12/01/16
nothing special for today...phone remain off...
reason is to AVOID susan......
get colleagues to get lunch for me so that i can AVOID completely...
AVOID AVOID AND AVOID....
on phone a while and found there is miss call and sms from susan
susan mentioned in her sms that 3days in didn't on phone...
you been hospitalized ???...when back home do inform me that you home safely..
may god bless you...
IS ALL DRAMA...

11/01/16
self have one kind of strange feeling for susan since yesterday night...
strange feeling plus the dickhead incident make me fade up of susan
hence self choose to AVOID .....get myself bread and back to work..
no susan at all...and off the phone for goodness sake..
but deep in heart wish much susan will communicate with me...
on phone at midnight and found there is a miss call and 2 sms from susan..

10/01/16
nothing special....is a bored bored sunday...
based on chinese calendar is exactly one month to CNY
as today is the first day of chinese calendar self wish susan may god bless...
simple reply from susan...yes...that's it...
no further communication then....

09/01/16
self errand for today is to chinatown
to chinatown to see CNY stuff....especially if there is any special CNY monkey plush toy
scroll around shops...cny monkey plush toy so expensive and not nice
hence have to wait for spore trip for CNY monkey plush toy
actually the CNY monkey plush toy is for SUSAN...
but for sure SUSAN won't appreciate .....landed in dustbin or giveaway...
initially self plan to pick up susan from work today
however after some thoughts and that dickhead incident self AVOID...
notice susan call me at 710pm...is susan go back home time...
is it that susan looking for me to go back together ???
self avoid picking up call....hence is a miss call...
coz the dickhead incident still FRESH in my mind....

08/01/16
self was real tired...wake up reluctantly
body aching pain all over...
self told self in heart....if boss in good mood go and see boss
see boss to beg her mercy to give me increment....
i deserve it...i am the one who is working...i do so much compare to others...
but timing doesn't look right...hence discussion with boss to postpone..
lunch break went to meet up with susan
susan saw me coming...we chat a while and self left...
nothing special at night...too tired...dose off after chanting...

07/01/16
as expected...immediate boss doesn't help self on the KL3 issue...
self was so annoy with the outcome...damn it..
console for the day is susan...
told susan my case during breakfast with susan
susan told self to calm down to avoid headache arises..
notice susan is patient and can talk and drama better...
if ONLY self can learn this tactic from susan
as self feel NOT appreciate and body ache self left at half day
remaining half day to run self pending errands....

06/01/16
susan on leave...hence nothing special
at work main task is to close off the fucking overdue...
finally is closed...sign off...sigh..
suddenly come the fucking KL3 delinquent issue
wrote an email to immediate boss for help
self know is a slim chance...immediate boss help me...

05/01/16
nothing special....self rushing for the overdue...
complete and send to heads for concurrence then off for breakfast
susan bought me breakfast but susan not eating with me
susan eating with her colleagues....never mind...
lunch time we meet up...
susan mentioned coming CNY don't buy anything for her...
also advice to take bus home instead of riding bike
if condition not allow then don't go back and come over...
come over daily and have new year meal with us susan mentioned..
how i wish ...but of course AVOID....
self should know who is there....the dickhead and horny daughter...
errghh....self hate both of them...to avoid ...doesn't want to have drama...

04/01/16
self was loaded with the fucking overdue thingy...
not fair as self as over loaded while others are so free...damn it...
but tell self NEVER mind...i have a GOOD consolation which others don't have...
i have considered a loyal friend which is susan....
10 minutes to lunch break self sneak out to run banking errands for susan
then back to xerox a copy as backup evidence
then went over to meet up with susan...
susan is good and caring to me....self smile in heart...
due to the heavy workload self choose to stay....
also stay in order to go back with susan...
is a happy day with susan after all...THANK GOD...

03/01/16
morning surprise whack from susan...
hey....come on...didn't i mentioned it yesterday night...
i don't want breakfast....i will come wait and take the cash and help to bank in...
self rather angry with susan make up story but stay calm...
self waited at lrt for susan as susan mentioned she is loaded today...
after meet up self went back to office...complete task...
then to public bank...shit...no loose change hence unable to use atm
then went to xx to inform susan...self not well...i am going back now to take medicine...
as for the banking transaction i will do it tomorrow...
susan tell me to be careful....as is all drama....
notice susan is at times a DRAMA WOMAN...
susan monitor self...call...whatspp and sms...
self thought is a caring monitoring...but is otherwise...
IS CARING  FOR THE PACK OF CASH AND PBB BANKING TRX...
IS SO MEAN OF SUSAN....
come on .....am i the type who want your $$$$.....fuck off please...

02/01/16
went to run self errands...out to wet market to get daily use stuffs.
also stay at home to wait for uncle hon meng call...
waited and waited....till 4pm....is the firm call on meet up location..
hence self and mum drop by to say hello....
then home...day passes......
frankly i miss susan much....but still have to remember...
don't ever forget....SUSAN IS MARRIED....
we sms each other on public bank issue
coz of third of each month...self will help susan bank in
told susan self will help bank in...sincere help...need not buy me breakfast...
susan mentioned when almost reach she will sms me to come down to take the cash...

01/01/16
Firstly, HAPPY NEW YEAR....
around 745am morning greetings from susan...
all the good and best wishes from susan...
self THANKS susan and wish susan back...
nothing special for self...remain at home to do some maintenance...
suddenly uncle hon meng call...mentioned he is in kl
hence self stay awake to wait for call...waited and waited...no call..
self feel so tired hence went to bed early....at the same time wait for call from uncle hon meng
suddenly got surprise sms from susan...is really surprise...thought susan have forgotten self...
susan mentioned why still haven't go home to have a rest....
self didn't reply until an hour later...
self mentioned apologies for the late reply....just saw sms
head terrible pain (honest it is pain for the day) and tired..
hence fall asleep in the bank....
silent from susan end...no reply...

31/12/15
last day at work...self on half day too...
around 1130am plus surprise sms from susan
susan mentioned snoopy movie is over...
self reply sadly....never mind then....susan reply sorry
an hour later self reply susan is not your fault...need not say SORRY...
i know my condition...it can't be so fortunate..
so lucky that only me and susan only..going for movie....it can't never happened...
actually if movie is still on show i will avoid too...i won't go....
self feel tired...but is count down night too...so the only way is light on...
asleep as too tired...suddenly self can hear firecrackers sound...meaning is 2016 already...
HAPPY NEW YEAR...hope is a GOOD year for self and susan...
MAY GOD BLESS ....

30/12/15
strange day for self....self requested for breakfast from susan
it could be susan didn't see my whatspp....
around 8:30am susan ask would you like to eat...
strange ....does susan and self have the same thinking...
self reply suddenly i feel like eating bee hoon...
buy only if convenient else no need....not a must
susan reply me wait...then sms me to wait for her around 930am
self reply ok...susan was early...already at cafeteria...
we have a heavy breakfast and is also the last breakfast with susan in 2015
coz susan is off for tomorrow and the day after....
then is already 2016 another year...
while at breakfast we chat for a while...
notice that susan trust MLM much...
which self doesn't have trust in MLM product at all...
susan suggest self to consume some MLM product to boost self immune system,,,
well self reply..forward to me product info and self look thru it first..
then back to work which is so tied up...which self almost have to cancel my 1/2 day leave..
self left 10 minutes to 2pm....quickly rush over for susan
hope susan is still there...lucky susan is still around...
self grab susan hand and wish HAPPY NEW YEAR...
coz i wont be seeing susan tomorrow...susan ack and smile...
susan also invite self to come over on the 01/01/16 to watch snoopy movie..
self ack happily and left....
happily ack but self know the day self and susan go for movie will NEVER exist
must remember in mind that SUSAN IS MARRIED !!!

29/12/15
morning sms from sms...actually i like morning sms from susan
is sort of motivation for self...which make me smile and keep going
susan mentioned she buy me breakfast and boil me herbs...
self reply...no need....i dun feel like eating...
hence susan ack my reply and ask me to take care of health...
then lunch break self went over...pass the horse type of calendar to susan
susan told me 2016 is a GOOD year for me...hence stay forward...
susan tell me to listen to her...well is just encouragement....
then self mentioned if self don't see you hereby i wish you HAPPY NEW YEAR.
coz tomorrow wed i am off and Thursday when i am back susan is off...
as timing not right and for sure no meet up or seeing each other...
then susan mentioned self can come over on the 01/01/16 to watch snoopy movie...
in heart...self hope for it....but MUST AVOID IF CAN...
REMEMBER !!!! DON'T FORGOT THIS....SUSAN IS MARRIED!!!!

28/12/15
susan bought me breakfast...frankly i enjoy the breakfast...
noticed susan have lots of new items...new bag and watch...
if NOT wrong is from dickhead...
we have breakfast and chat a while
then susan show me her trip photo....the very first one is the dickhead and susan
this make me feel like vomiting...i really dislike seeing the dickhead..
hence tell susan to stop and excuse self...self quickly went off...
susan follow up with sms and call...i ignore the call...
sms inform to look after the cheque.....DAMN IT...
is the cheque that fucking important....is the prostitute daughter cheque..
lunch break self went to run banking errands for susan
then went to see susan to pass the banking receipt and told susan self want to give up...
frankly, i really want to give up on susan...NO point self struggle...
MUST REMEMBER that susan is MARRIED....
susan keep sending me sms to encourage me....self remain silent....
i still remember clearly how susan whack me at the food court...
frankly i can't "swallow the incident"....is always fresh in my mind!!!!!

27/12/15
at 5am...a quick one...on phone for awhile...
check any sms or calls from susan...
yes..there is...a couple of miss call but no sms..
then off back phone...to avoid if can..
morning spring cleaning room...clean up room
wow looks like years , roughly 4 years....i didn't clean it..
room looks more organize now...yes...neat...
then to run weekend errands at shops for daily food consumption...
then back home to complete daily exercise...
around 6.10pm...finally on back home for good....
firstly call susan to inform that i am back home...
susan mentioned she is off and at home with family members..
of course the with the dickhead...
hence self quickly wrap up call and put down phone...

26/12/15
is morning @ 5am....on phone for awhile
saw messages from susan....got 3 messages and 2 miss call
message sounds like this...first...merry christmas
second message...friend are you working
third message....friend we are back in kl
ops...to my surprise....susan is back in kl already since friday...
i thought susan will only be back on sat or sun
then phone back to off...off coz i want to avoid susan for a while...
coz the dickhead incident still fresh in my head...susan whack me badly and still hurts...
go nowhere coz afraid is a wasted trip to office as network is down...
if network down nothing can be done too....
sigh alone at home....but from the bottom of my heart I MISS SUSAN.

25/12/15
is christmas day ....self need to back to office to complete some errand
is personal errands...need to clear bills and do some photo thingy
wow...office so dark...all black...self was scare too...
too bad network down too hence personal errand was incomplete
since no communication from susan as self the forgotten one....self off phone
then on and happened to see got message and miss call from susan
ops coincident susan call too...why such a coincident...
self ignore it and then off phone...
susan go ahead enjoy yourself with the dickhead...
just ignore me...i am NOT important to you susan...
i still remember clearly how you whack me at the food court..after the dickhead incident...

24/12/15
is chirstmas eve.... but is a dull day for self...
nothing special...morning to 9uncle house to settle the share exercise payment
then back to office to complete some work and back home
no sms not whatspp from susan....
i must be dreaming...of course none from susan
happily with dickhead...who cares about self...
self the forgotten one...sigh!!!!

23/12/15
self fade up with work...seems like no appreciation and no hope
hence took the day off....reported on mc...
stay at home do room and paper maintance
told susan self on mc....but feedback from susan sounds hurt...
susan mentioned if not well go see doctor...
actually i am NOT sick...I am SICK of the DICKHEAD...
hence all this issue crop up...

22/12/15
days passes sadly...so fade up with work...
thought new boss can help me but look likes is also another useless person
should have know...self have no work luck...don't aim or hope for anything...hopeless..
work and work...wait for time then wrap up and go off..
lunch break self choose to avoid susan...no susan....self feed up...
suddenly around evening susan call me....susan mentioned she was worry about me..
susan mentioned she call me but no pickup...strange...my phone didn't ring...
susan afraid something happened to me...is this true or honest from susan's heart
or otherwise...self uncertain....only susan and god know...who is true and honest...
susan invites me to her house to have glutinous ball in conjunction of winter solstice day...
self REJECTED it....self REJECT as the AVOID susan and dickhead...
night passes sadly too...no sms or whatspp from susan...

21/12/15
self choose to avoid susan...this is due to the dickhead photo...
also i dislike susan on something....for example....
when susan herself bought something is treat as gold..
whereby the whole family likes or enjoy it...
when my turn to buy back the same item..
susan mentioned her family doesn't eat or consume this kind of things...
well seems like hers is treasure and mind is rubbish...
i dislike susan on this point...bias treatment...
this bias treatment plus dickhead plus horny daughter makes me feel feed up with susan...
coz to susan this dickhead and horny daughter is her top priority...
susan also hint that i am smelly.....ok fine...i know...i will avoid ... to avoid as much as possible...
susan sms me twice in the morning ....
being feed up with susan being reason above self just ignore susan sms...
thought is 2pm and self is safe to enter to get my loaf of bread..
self saw susan...maybe is time for susan to go for lunch...
then self grab a loaf a bread and proceed to payment...
to my surprise susan drop by...self look on and whisper friend...
susan look at me and self look back...silent self...then self left quietly...
then self sms susan self not well off to see doctor...susan reply may god bless....
at night self was hoping for susan sms but none...night passes sadly...

20/12/15
self agreed brother kenneth to join in for life liberation
it was a mad rush....but self appreciate it and hope self be bless..
at the same time susan sms me to ask me my full name...
want to do blessing for me...THANKS ...i hope is true blessing
then at night susan whatspp me lots of photos...
one of it is the dickhead and some of the prostitute daughter...
self feel one kind at seeing the dickhead...
frankly i dislike the dickhead and the eldest horny daughter...

19/12/15
finally is saturday....got important task to do...
both is important...one is office work and the other is photo process for susan
finally self settle down with susan photos process..
back to office print photo then cut and finally perform laminating...
effort put in to perform this process...and choose to skip office work..
upon completion self went over to see susan...
told susan tonight agenda is on..i come pick up and we go for dinner...
drive there...i know where we can park...
then self drive one round to find location and parking area
then rush to xxx to see if there is any other accessories i can add on
got a few additional packets and then back home to complete the photo process...
look nice...but self know is rubbish to susan...no appreciation...
then back to perform daily routine and self have strange feeling on tonight dinner...
self doesn't feel like going....hope it rain so that appointment can be cancelled...
at home is raining heavily but doubt town area
then about timing self to town to meet up susan ....nice weather...so look like dinner is on...
today agenda a bit special...pickup susan and then to dinner....self happy...
we have claypot chicken rice and stingray fish for dinner...self happy and so do susan
then we walk around and then susan ask to send her to spectrum to collect her dinner dress..
then after spectrum self send susan back...then self back home...
we were happy....if moments stays...
at night self feel uncomfortable...whole body heat up...sick ??

18/12/15
susan sms me and ask to wait for her to come...
hence self waited and we have breakfast together...
is meehoon and dessert...
at the same time self show susan her sister's album
susan look thru it and rearrange the photos....
susan also told me she will be away from 24/12/15 to 27/12/15
away for a trip....dun mean to skip me but self have to understand self condition
self noted ...self wont blame susan for skipping me out...i don't want to go too..
must always remember susan is married...AVOID if can....
then lunch break just drop by for a short while
told susan i will be coming to work tomorrow and can i send you back..
also i have a special present for you....and also pass you your sister album
susan agreed and ask when can we go for claypot chicken rice...we drive there...
well that place has limited parking space...maybe we take train over....suggestion put up...
surprise .....at 7pm susan call me...asking can i come down now....
ops i am home already ...how....so reply susan self not convenient to come now...
then susan sms to inform tomorrow morning she have something to give me...

17/12/15
back to work but most of the time spend on photo process...
go shop for photo album and Styrofoam and pin for photo process..
finally found what i want and purchase it for photo process..
then lunch break went over to pass susan her sis's completed photo process nicely in album
as usual not much appreciation....
then self back to work and at night drop by xxx shop to get alphabets and accessories for photo process..
then day passes .....is self a photo man or banker....
at times not worth doing it...

16/12/15
self on leave today....initially the agenda was to go for movie with susan
is snoopy movie...movie that i like...
however after some thought self cancel it....susan is married...to avoid...
reason given was  self in pain...to cancel movie....
hence self call susan and cancel the appointment...
then self run another errand...which is to sign the loan agreement
since at that area run other errands as well....collect calendar, go dental and do banking..
then back home for self maintenance....
susan keeps me occupied too....susan send me lots of her sister photos...
we chat a while on whatspp...susan sang me the "Friend" songs too...
ha...friend....is that true....FRIEND ????

15/12/15
today no susan...coz told susan self off to go for medical checkup.
initially self plan for  half day...as the is farewell lunch which self want to avoid..
go back to complete the overdue and org chart...then self will goes off...
due to heavy workload self unable to goes off at noon..
hence stay to complete the org chart...damn it...self feel so frustrated...
while others enjoying self have to stay to draw the fucking org chart..
hence self be blunt too..pack and go back at 4.45pm...
have to left already coz self was driving that day...must go off early to avoid jam
saw susan sms asking how is the checkup...once home sms her...
at night self sms susan to cancel tomorrow appointment...
self want to avoid...susan is married...i dislike the dickhead...
susan reply appointment is tomorrow....wait for tomorrow and see the situation
susan also mentioned don't think too much...may GOD bless me...

14/12/15
13/12/15

12/12/15
self back to office to complete overdue report
at the same time grab susan things which i keep at bank's locker...
took susan's curtain and cigarette home...
told susan i am here and tonight let me send you back..
i have things to give to you...your stuffs, cigarette, calendar and christmas present...
when about time self drive down to town...is raining....
self beg...GOD pls stop raining .....i think GOD hear me ....
coz when susan arrive rain is not as heavy as before...small drop instead...
then self send susan back...told susan hope you like the christmas gift...
susan reply that i am the first one who gave her christmas gift...
susan also mentioned the dickhead will give her present too..but not now...busy...back to work...
in my heart...self says FUCK IT....i really dislike hearing things about the dickhead,,,
finally reach home...alight susan and self home...
once home...heavy rain again....THANK GOD....THANK GOD...who bless me..
susan send whatspp to me and send me photo on the transparent bag christmas present...
susan mentioned she likes it...can hear susan sweet voice...is totally different...
see...how different when there is present and empty handed....
self reply as long as you like it ....i am happy....

11/12/15
is day 15 of chinese calendar...susan bought me vegetarian meehoon...
we eat together at the cafeteria...
then self mentioned tomorrow i am coming...can i send you back
also to pass some items to you....susan agreed....

10/12/15
sms from susan around 9am plus
ask to come down at 9:30am and wait for her...
self reply ok...
then around evening self went over to help susan boost sales...
buy from susan and sell to colleagues at a loss...
then self told susan self not well this few days...maybe is time....
susan whack and scolded me...what rubbish are you talking...
then self look at susan and susan have personal touch on my chin and back portion
susan encourage me by saying...self is ok...stay happy...must come over daily to see sister...
self smile...self acknowledge susan good deed...
self smile in sleep having a good friend like susan

09/12/15
morning surprises....it was extremely early sms from susan
sms at 6:30am...greeting from susan
self ask why so early...since is your rest day got back to sleep
susan sms further mentioned i know today myself off too..
off to go see doctor...
ops...susan make a mistake...hence self reply susan sms
susan i am off on next week tuesday which is 15/12/15
of to go for further checkup...
actually today is self off day too...to run errands...
firstly at home first to get all susan photos printed...
then go pray shop to buy praying stuffs to get calendar for susan
then to XX to check mouse and at the same time to get standby ink for susan's photo printing
then shop around for daily food....then home...then to cut ginseng and to send to sis house...
oh..what a day...off day to run errands...tired....
since whatspp not on...susan send me a late night sms...why didn't go home for 2 days...
actually does susan really cares...

03/12/15
is self birthday...
morning self wait for susan at lrt station...
then run banking errand for susan
then surprise sms from susan
susan invite me for lunch...spaghetti meal...yes...my favorite meal
for 3 consecutive days...self have lunch with susan
susan guided and encourage me while we were having lunch...


02/12/15
lunch date with susan again...
today self is very happy
self invest for susan...is for susan future...
i am loyal to susan...i want susan to have a secure and better future...
self willing to invest for susan...self done it sincerely...
i doesn't and didn't hope for any return....
all i want is susan to have a better and secure and protected future...
self is investing for susan...is a 5 years investment plan...
may GOD bless us....hope relationship maintain throughout...


01/12/15
lunch with susan at coliseum
can consider as self birthday lunch with susan
but too bad it was raining...both of us all wet on the way back
self was late...hence ask susan if self can go back together..
susan agreed hence we go back together..
self ask susan if self can invite david of prudential over...
finally susan agreed...yahoo...

30/11/15
lunch break went over to pass susan the printed punch card
stroll around but no sign of susan
then bump into one of susan colleague...
susan colleague mentioned susan not working today...
doesn't know where she is...
self noted...so my guessing was right...
enjoy fucking with the dick head...coz for no reason why susan whatspp me her punch card so early
there is 2 to 3 days before month end...
self back to work and then back home...
then notice susan called me...susan sound so happy...
susan ask why didn't i go home...we have a short chat then...
then get to know from conversation susan went to cameron...

29/11/15
back to work as early as normal weekdays..
need to complete some work and home to run certain banking errands..
about time self did monitoring...train after train...
no sign of susan...if not wrong susan is on leave...
on leave to be with dick head i guess..
coz what susan whatspp self yesterday night was susan punch card
why so early send me the punch card tracking....
still got today and monday then only is end of the month...
must be on leave i guess....susan on leave so frequent and so easy...
no communication from either party too...
so this make me feel my assumption is right...on leave..enjoying with dickhead...

28/11/15
morning surprises....early greeting from susan
self smile and didn't reply back...smile coz susan got a heart for me...
then susan sms asking how is today condition...are you ok...
self reply susan...susan you are extremely busy...i won't disturb you..
need not worry about me...my condition is uncertain...
susan reply may god bless me...
at night susan whatspp me something which i didn't open it yet...

27/11/15
self have been owing some colleagues orders for days...
hence to buy regardless susan is there or not
but what a coincident...susan was around...susan busy with her stocks
hence get colleagues order and left as susan is extremely busy...
no time to entertain and pack for me...i have to diy the Christmas jacket for the order...
lunch break didn't meet up with susan...susan is busy...
good too as self did not have a proper self maintenance while on leave..
coz busy with errands...sis pre-delivery errands and nilai factory meeting...
self whatspp susan mentioning self home extra early today at 6pm self home already
self not well..high fever...could be due to new medicine...
if self didn't reply message could be self too tired and asleep..
high fever...condition not good...
susan reply me may god bless.....drink more water...

26/11/15
morning surprises....
susan told me today is day 15 of Chinese calendar..
may god bless you....
self reply susan yeah...today is day 15 of Chinese calendar
may god bless you too...i pray to Buddha may Buddha bless susan and family
susan bought me vegetarian meehoon and boil me herbs too...
self feel like self owing to susan...thanks susan
lunch break didn't go over for susan...susan busy with warehouse sales..
self skip lunch and home an hour early...
before home self drop by to see susan
to return back the water bottle and also
told susan self appointment to see doctor at 5.30pm today
then at night received susan sms asking regards....what did doctor says...

25/11/15
self on leave to run nilai factory errands
sign loan letter of offer and meeting with tenant on rental agreement
at night received call and later follow be sms from susan
does susan really cares...or just busy body to know my status
self miss the call as self was downstairs...hence is a miss and ignore call...
since unable to get me thru phone susan sms me..
self reply the sms and tell susan self is a useless person
my sickness is non curable and need not waste time boil herbs for me
i wont tell you what doctor mentioned about my condition
susan reply me shut up....read buddha verse to help yourself...
then self sms susan back mentioning self wont disturb you...you need rest...
good night my loyal friend, susan.

24/11/15
dull day for self...susan on leave
no communication from both parties....

23/11/15
susan ask to wait for her..
susan bought me breakfast and boil me herbs too..
susan i really owe you....is enough...no need to boil
i really don't need sympathy nor someone to pity me...
lots of colleagues saw me with susan
to self no fear or shame...susan is the only one i need most...
told susan self appointment day with doctor this week...
once appointment day is fixed i will keep you inform so that you don't need to boil me herbs..
susan also told self she is on leave tomorrow swap with wed
if not wrong susan on one day trip with dick head tomorrow..
but why must i busy body...i hate the dick head...

22/11/15
back to work as early as normal weekdays despite is weekend..
surprise ....morning sms from susan mentioned why so early you go to work
self mentioned self doesn't want to disturb the landlord family members..
i need the bank much...
then susan reply in think too much...
then at night self reply susan via sms...continue from morning sms
susan is not that i think too much...
went things get worse i look horrible...i can scare the landlord family members..
next week i am going to see doctor...for further checkup or follow up
hence no need to boil herbs for me...
i stay for a while...when condition improve i will motorbike home
susan reply ok...please take care...be extra careful on motorbike home..
THANKS SUSAN....

21/11/15
morning did self maintenance...
then rush to office to complete the fucking overdue
then went over to see susan...
inform susan today self is ok...feeling better...
see i drive today...so can i send you back...
have some materials (calendar, cigarette and mangoes) to gave to susan
finally after the incident 26/09/15 close to 2 months self didn't send susan back..
then home to run normal errand and then back to town for susan
rainy season...have fear too..how..i don't want susan to get wet in rain
hence pray and beg god please don't rain
finally is 7pm and susan is here...drive susan back home safely.
alight susan and ask susan to forward regards to her mum and self left...

20/11/15
as self need self maintenance she try to avoid susan if can
lunch break coincidence is raining
self drop by and mentioned self not well...
but is honest...true...self headache the whole day...
start when self get up from bed...
told susan she very headache need to go home....
self mentioned self have things for you,,,
can i pass it to you tomorrow instead...???
tomorrow i am coming back to work and can i will send you back..

19/11/15
after close to 2 weeks we finally able to meet up...
susan buy me breakfast ans boil me herbs too...
also gave me a car keychain...look nice...i like it...
then went over at lunch time...susan shows me the current promotion
sell help boost sales by persuading colleagues
finally self got order for 15 packs...
self went over to buy and susan was happy to entertain me...
susan mentioned if ONLY daily is like this...
yeah....if ONLY daily is like this..happiness for both susan and me..

18/11/15
self was busy with work and load with the spore boss work too..
susan ask if i can go back at 5:30pm
wait at lrt and susan will pass me herbs..
self reply no....self extremely busy...can't go off so early...
at night self sms to susan telling susan no need to boil herbs for me...
i can't be cure..i am just wasting your time and effort..
i dun need pity or sympathy from anyone..
since child time i use to be alone...
should anything happened to me...the bank will resolve or settle it for me..
susan ignore my message and ask to wait for her arrival tomorrow..
susan also mentioned...i am taking rubbish and think too much...

17/11/15
morning surprises too...susan greet me good morning
self reply back...
later susan sms again inform i should have a full meal...
then at night close to 11pm...susan sms self...
susan sms mentioned...friend for days you didn't go home...
if nothing serious please go home....
don't think too much and those  unnecessary things
ask me to call her..
self call susan and we chat for a while...
looks like susan cares....
susan says buddha talk to susan about me  and  will be with me to protect me
from the bottom of my heart i feel so grateful...

16/11/15
as per normal...self work and work...the idiot one..
surprise sms from susan mentioned she and dickhead is back in KL
self was not aware of her arrival date
coz susan didnt mentioned when she will be back
all i know is she is back to work on 19/11/15
as courtesy self reply susan sms..
thank god most...for the bless safe trip
self reply thanks for informing me that you are back
i didn't go to work for 2 days already..and also
unable to go xxxx thailand for work...
then we stop here...
at midnight susan sms me again...
mentioned you didn't go home
self reply i stay at bank...didn't go home..
susan reply ok...may god bless me...
what a coincident i was awake at midnight...saw send sms..
can i say self was in synch with susan....

15/11/15
no communication from both parties (self and susan)
self busy cleaning up the overdue mess..
self know well....hard work NEVER be APPRECIATED...
to boss is just rubbish work...boss dislike my report...
wasted effort and hard work...sigh!!!

14/11/15
morning surprise....susan sms hello friend..
a bless morning...self was so happy...self smile...
self reply back...at least self knows susan know i am around...
self back to office to work on the overdue report..
massive cleanup...

12/11/15 and 13/11/15
nothing special...susan on leave
self as per normal...
work home read mantra and sleep..
no communication from neither party (self and susan)

11/11/15
susan on leave...susan leaving for kk
upon arrival susan sms me to inform safe arrival
self reply back...THANK GOD...
thank god most for the safe journey..
have a good rest and enjoy the days in KK..
of course enjoy...can with dick head day and night..
why self cares...self hate the dick head much...

10/11/15
public holiday...deepavali
susan on leave too..
the same goes to me...no point back to office to work
also got errands to run...
appointment with 119 new tenant...
119 house has a new awning now...YAHOO..

09/11/15
have lunch with susan



08/11/15
initially promise to pick up susan from work
then we shall go home together
but susan mentioned apologies...dinner tonight..
well is true or not self doesn't care much...
since time running short....at night self sms susan
ask if tomorrow self can have lunch with her...
self have some words to say...
susan reply ok...can have lunch with me
and wish me good night too...


07/11/15



06/11/15
morning sms from susan...mentioning she is at cafeteria...
asking am i convenient to come down,,,
self reply ok...wait a while..i am coming down...
we have breakfast together and susan again boil me herbs..
susan highlighted to me she have fear being nominated to take 50% of my epf asset
susan fear my family members after her.....
i know susan is not a materialistic person...she is honest and good..
yes is true also....i must find a way to channel  my epf money over to susan in some other form...
but as for prudential no issue....only myself, susan and david knows...david will help me to settle it..
then lunch break self when over and we have a semi long chat..
then self feel not comfortable and slight headache and left
then susan call me to ask how am i....and we chat for a while..
susan call me cow cow..self smile....cow cow...hahaha...

05/11/15
self have enough and don't need sympathy...
hence morning self sms susan don't cook and boil any thing for me..
susan reply she already buy...wait for her arrival at 9:30am
self noted...susan arrived...susan bought me breakfast once more
also pass me a G2000 business shirt...told me is her sincere gift...
self smile ....self thanks susan....
lunch break dare not go over to see susan...self have fear already..

04/11/15
again susan sms early morning..
morning sms from susan bring cheers...
susan mentioned she buy me breakfast and wait for her arrival..
susan credit me back with the public bank transaction amount and pass my breakfast..
susan mentioned don't you want to be as happy as before... are close again ?
have personel touch from susan...self smile..
then we have lunch together...self shows all my assets to susan
and all my assets will goes to her upon my death...
only epf is partially share with brother kenneth...
is my sincere gift for susan...i am not asking for any return...
susan boil me herbs...to cure my sickness..
susan hold my hand and assist me to swallow the bitter herbs...
thanks susan..in appreciation...
self cry when susan is too GOOD to self..
self have to chase susan away...susan care too much....i feel so bad....
then self slightly headache and sms susan...
susan mentioned how am i ,,,,,susan wants to come over to see and help me..
self cry and chase susan away...told susan to go off...leave me alone..

03/11/15
surprise ...early sms from susan..
sms mentioned....hi friend...a very good morning...
self smile....but i know susan pity me only..
i told susan i don't need pity or sympathy..
since young i am alone...shd anything happened i have bank who help me..
is 3 of the month...self offer to help susan on public bank errands..
susan sms me particulars and self go ahead with the banking errands...
at night self whatspp receipt over and chat a while...
susan pity me and invite with for tomorrow lunch appointment..
self noted with thanks...

02/11/15
susan saw me coming and susan smile...i smile too..
ask susan if she is free to join me for lunch...
susan rejected my offer for lunch...self already knew it..
then self mentioned is ok...cut long story short...i can talk here too..
then self told susan self is sick and is non cureable...
got bruise blood in the brain....which is non cureable...
then told susan self have put down my will and most of my asset goes to her...
all things of mine sold...my bicycle and etc...
then self finished my words  and back to office...
then notice susan call me..mentioned she is now free for lunch..
susan invited me for lunch in reverse...but self rejected her...
told susan self don't feel like eating...no appetite...i dont need pity
then later in the evening went over to show susan all my supporting document
ranging from doctor letter and epf nomination form...
can see susan feel sad and slight watery eyes...
susan i am SORRY...

01/11/15
back to office to complete some pending task
almost timing with susan...
self monitor from my floor..
finally able to see susan..
surprise....susan sms me mentioned...
may god bless me...discharge today.....
i was shock to see this...thought susan NEVER care...
self reply only at night...with the following message...
THANKS ...now on bike slowly on the way home...

31/10/15
guan yin day...went for life liberation
may self be blessed...wish for smooth journey ahead...

30/10/15
self was slightly better but lazy to go to work...
go ahead with rest since mc given was 2 days...
why so hard working when i am not rewarded !!!!
no point to be stupid...stay smart...
borther kenneth came to visit me and suggest tomorrow shd join for life liberation
at the same time susan the used itch bitch called...self ignore...
then self return call...mentioned self been hospitalised...
to her is just simple...nothing happened...is just a lizard life...
my life is NOT important..NEVER send regards too...WHAT A CRUEL WOMAN!!
frankly i have gave up on this used itchy bitch...
call me to ask about the prostitute daughter housing document..
DIY ...who you think i am ......i am a principal and decent person...
I AM NOT A USED STUFF OR NEITHER A CHEAP SKATE WOMAN.!!
WHAT A SHAME TO BE FRIEND WITH SUSAN...IN FACT!!!

29/10/15
no point stress self...go ahead with mc
self really sick...high fever and body aching pain...
rest at home..
to test the water self send out an english sms contains the following
"dear colleagues...i am admitted..back to work on Monday.
Secretary please inform boss. TQ"
as expected the rude and cruel itchy bitch susan didn't reply or call me...
caribee come on...should have know the result...i am right...
IS THE END...who cares!!!!

28/10/15
susan on leave
last day of green tea promotion at front entrance
to me is a relief....self can avoid seeing the "used" stuff....avoid if can...
self not well....get infected from the fucking idiot colleague..
at night whatspp susan mostly probably tomorrow i an off...
come to buy later ...say saturday,,,,an addtional 8 packs.

27/10/15


26/10/15


25/10/15
to help boost sale for susan self help up
begging ppl and colleagues to buy from me..
i buy and sell at a LOSS...nobody knows...
what a stupid self..
self at xx but as usual early morning susan not around at workstn
self ring susan up and susan ask to wait ...
self waited and waited and finally is here..
self bought 15 packs and then go off..
then back again to ask susan if i can buy her lunch tomorrow...
cold signal from both of us...real cold signal....
FRANKLY SUSAN NEVER CONSIDER ME AS FRIEND ON 26/09/15 NIGHT
IS THE END....HISTORY TIME STAMP 26/09/15
need not continue....is just cold signal...
have problem with parking validation...i am sure receipt with susan
but susan says it not...but later whatspp me the receipt at promotion counter
notice susan is NEVER honest...OR kind of stupid!!!
at night again susan whatspp me she is married...got husbad and kids...
i was so angry and scolded her ....susan silent...
at times...should blast susan the itchy bitch...

24/10/15
self whatsapp around to beg people to buy
help me to help susan...what a NAIVE self...
towards noon self wahtspp susan self got order..
will come and buy tomorrow...
visited 9uncle. who is getting weaker...
notice that 9uncle place top priority for hira and the fucking sis...
to me...well why bother...be merciful like buddha
at night read mantra...hope for the best...

23/10/15
as not to upset susan...self reply politely
oh i c ....that all...and the follow by a TQ...
short and brief....
self feel one kind today...eye's twitching
bad luck on the way...
self go see doctor and guess what...
doctor recommend me to see phychirist.
self going mad soon....
self stay back for lunch...home alone at office and choose to left early..
at night seek help from sister buddha..
once more sister buddha enlighten me
thanks sister buddha...

22/10/15
self want to avoid susan too
but cant ask colleague to help buy lunch daily
furthermore today self have no excuse...
hence no choice but to go over with colleagues
susan is right at the door way...
call out loud...friend...
hence self no choice but to go and entertain...
have a piece of choc and then went off...self avoid..
then to fruit stall with colleagues for smoothies drink
bought fruits for susan and gave it and then went off...
tonight only have the courage to see susan's whatspp which send to me on Tuesday
self choose today as Friday working time is short and is weekend...
oh...is and price sign....self feel so angry and question mark back to susan
fuck off...what you want me to do..help sell!!!!!

21/10/15
dull day at work....
self have the chance to go over
reason being susan on leave
now dun know why....
self choose to avoid susan...
to susan i am just additional or rubbish...
respect god....reading mantra daily...

20/10/15
no susan too..self choose to avoid
ask colleague to help buy me food
did the wrong thing for boss
and again get blasted..
yeah...found self so useless...

19/10/15
tell boss unable to help on overdue work
in return get blasted ....harsh word from boss
"is just report and you say cannot do...
i have not ask you to use your brain....
you are an officer and NOT clerical..."
yeah...boss is right...i am so useless...
so brainless and useless self...
no susan...self choose to avoid
ask colleague to help buy me food

18/10/15
bad luck day....road block
what at big turn to railway stn
pick up uncle and send him home...
pity seeing uncle..old and weak...
beg sister buddha for help...THANKS.
afraid of tomorrow....have to see boss...
no one can help except GOD...
hence self double up my mantra reading...in hope GOD can help me thru...

17/10/15
cimb fiesta in town...went there with sis and wilson
scroll around and head home...
mood not there to shop..miss susan much..
at night whatspp sister Buddha for help
sister Buddha enlighten me...THANKS

16/10/15
have to stick to promise...get 12 packs and go..
at work...self is like a piece of shit...
the fucking overdue work is so manual...self cursing it...
beg everywhere for help but none help...
also when to see susan in hope can cheer self up...
but susan NEVER cares...just want to avoid me if can...
ok..i know..i wont disturb you, susan....
at night just keep cursing work...cannot sleep..
beg buddha sister for help...

15/10/15
self have no intention to go over to see susan
but what the hell...susan is right at the door ways..
green tea promotion is going on...
self caught..no choice but to go see susan...
self promise to buy tomorrow....set aside 12 packs for me
then back to office self starts sending sms to colleagues for help..
beg nancy to help me which nancy does but unwillingly...
what a naive self....beg people to help me...to help susan...
at night self whatspp susan ...whatspp was long but susan just reply ok..
so unwilling and no heart to reply...

14/10/15
public holiday..but self back to work...
complete some pending work and then head home
before home went over and have a peep
no susan...of course..no..is susan rest day and public holiday too..

13/10/15
susan on leave...so much annual leave...
of course ...the dick head is back...can enjoy fucking every night...
since tired then go on leave...no brain work...
can apply for leave anytime...

12/10/15
FIRSTLY THANK GOD...THANK YOU GOD...
pc able to boot and back to normal...lucky all files are there...
lunch break self when to see susan
stroll thru and no sign of susan..
then get my lunch and final stroll thru before self back to office...
self saw susan...susan saw me and smile...
honest...i cant smile....self COOL response to susan
notice susan act different when self is COOL to her..
mentioned all sort of rubbish like i have haircut, the mother send her regards to me...
i am on leave tomorrow, we are sister....self response...are we???...come on dun be silly anymore...
then self pass to susan her payslip...susan thanks me..
at the same time self assist susan to boost sales by buying and sell to colleagues at a LOSS...
then self left....and back to office....self cry...
then susan sms me..thank me for helping her and we are still friend...
to me i don't agree...we NO LONGER friend....coz certain sentence from susan is hard to digest...
at night susan whatspp me lots of voice message...self forget about it
in mind...pls fuck off...voice message is not open till tuesday night...

11/10/15
self woke up early as if is working day....
being reason to make self tired so that self can fall asleep at night
also need to drive to office to check if pc is able to boot..
what the hell....real bad luck...pc unable to boot...
god please help me...all my work ...what to do...i have got slides too...
please help me GOD...i beg at your mercy...pls help me...
self still have fear to look at susan image...self not prepare for the surprise...
self afraid self will panic and mind goes crazy....
finally after all things settle down self have the courage to sign on to whatspp
is the same fucking childish image ask to be happy daily....
come on susan....don't be silly....you have over hurt me....
honest i am over hurt by you more than i hurt you susan...

10/10/15
self back to office to do so work...
after work went over to XX to see if susan is there...
self peep and saw susan...one more peep and self left
deep in heart susan still the one.....i miss susan much..
on the way back in train self cry in heart..
minutes after minutes looking at hand phone hoping there will be messages from susan
but answer is NIL...nothing from susan..
mishap happened at work ....well when bad luck comes self cant escape it...
bad relationship with susan and not smooth at work...
self started to panic....will all hard work loss...
throughout the evening to night self study overdue review process...
self read mantra ....may god bless me...hope pc able to boot tomorrow..
surprise...susan whatspp me at night....self was not aware as self was asleep
but all of a sudden self awake and look at the phone...there is a image pic from susan
self dare not open it...self dare not...afraid susan wants to end the relationship...self fear.

09/10/15
self absence from work...too tired with work
why assign of bad and hard work to me...WHY???
self agree to help brother kenneth...
brother kenneth drove me down to see his nilai factory
then back to usj to sign the S&P agreement..
hope self wont get into trouble...may god bless me..
coz i am in deep shit now and i dun want anymore obstacles..
silent from susan end...i guess susan must have resigned or sick..
only this 2 possibilities...

08/10/15
self peep...no sign of susan
if not wrong my guess is ....susan is sick..
or she has resigned...resigned to avoid me...
self wish much to send sms to ask what happened..are you sick??
are you ok there??
but after double thought....better NOT...susan is married...

07/10/15
susan on leave...self dull day at work...
was ask to do overdue...this is my fear and dislike...
why me...why all bad things happened to me at the same time !!!

06/10/15
around noon surprise sms from  susan
sms mentioned she is on leave for a day...
self reply ok...short and simple...
of course on leave...husband is back...
can enjoy full time fucking....

05/10/15
bump into colleagues..asking if can get greentea choc
hence self promise...went over but no sign of susan...
then later around 4pm self went over once more...
again no sign of susan...if ok then...self left...
self starts to worry and hence sms to ask ..
sms sound like this...may i know are you working today..
coz i have order from lady landlord...i came but cant see you...
notice active chat on whatspp and NEVER reply my sms..
self forget about it....self know...susan wants to avoid me..

04/10/15
NO MORE going to  town on sunday to pick up susan..
self do things which is more meaningful
reading mantra...to clam self down...
keep telling self...consider susan as a project..
now that the project is over....THE END...

03/10/15
self dont want to drag on in pain...
self decided to meet up susan for lunch to settle things
she agreed to lunch with me.....we meet up to iron out things
susan blasted and found that susan is really a mature woman...
only she is right and nobody else...
just a simple dislike of the dick head  presence end up lots of fucking nonsense
what a  shame...self cry in front of susan..
i guess that is THE END....
is so rude of susan...to say that i am a lesbian...
i like susan but NEVER think of having SEX with her ...
just as normal and the max i can is ONLY hold hand....
I pray to god...i know what is right and what is wrong...
I won't fuck you and NEVER think of it too....
self bow and thanks susan for the lesson...
but deep in heart self understand susan better now...
susan is really a mature woman...dont play the fool with susan...

02/10/15
avoid going over too...
shop around XXX and try avoid susan workstation...
then back to work and back home
what a dull friday
cry in sleep....can't let go...without susan life is dull and meaningless..

01/10/15
avoid going over....go epf do next of kin nomination
ONLY 2 person who touches my life
so they been nominated as my next of kin
is brother kenneth and susan my XXX
thanks to alan to be my witness

30/09/15
read susan whatspp message reply to my yesterday night voice message
but after listening to the voice message self know susan is bluffing...
susan NEVER cares.....SUSAN NEVER CARES!!!! SHE IS BLUFFING ME....
then towards evening received sms asking am i home...
self reply...doctor mentioned need not be hospitalized but on medication...
susan reply dun think too much...
is all make up story and knew that susan NEVER cares..

29/09/15
i have a early morning heart attack...
susan blast me with angry scolding sms
long sms....which never before susan write long sms to me
susan gave me last chance....if repeat is THE END of our relationship
self panic and lucky brother kenneth drop by
self reveal everything to brother kenneth and cry in front of him too...
i really unable to let go susan...honest i really like to be with susan
susan is my sunshine....but looks like self have no choice but to let go and end this relationship
the fucking dick head is top priority and i can go against this dick head...
a simple dinner and end up creating a BIG MESS...
finally self make up mind...go over to see susan
as courtesy i apologies to her...told her no more next time
self ask are we still friend....susan didn't reply me...
watery eyes from self...but notice susan NEVER care for self
susan only keep mentioning self was rude to the dick head fucker...
finally self have the courage to listen to the whatspp mesage...
self reply via voice message too...self apologies ...
self also mentioned self not comfortable...need to go hospital for checkup
should anything happened to me do not dump me into the sea or send me back to JB..

28/09/15
during lunch break self didn't go and see susan
hoping susan will sms or call...but nothing....
self stay in pain and cry...
watery eyes in front of colleagues..

27/09/15
self feel so uncomfortable...why why and why
why the dick head is here and susan didn't alert me upfornt..
should i go town to pick susan today....self feel one kind
chances is only 50 vs 50
but too bad.....susan acted faster than self
susan call me...finally self pick up call....
susan WHACK ME OVER THE PHONE...
this sentence hurts me deeply....
susan mentioned is unfair to the dick head and you think i am your lover
susan also mentioned NO NEED to pick her up tonight..
she can go back by herself...and put down the phone
then follow by 2 voice message via whatspp
self suddenly feel so headache...pain in the head..chest pain too...
susan really have BIG impact on self...self trembling...
self dare not listen to the voice message...
wish to hear but dare not hear it...
today coincide with moon cake festival...
is my WORST mooncake year....
self feel so uneasy and nervous....

26/09/15 THE END!!!!!

self up late as self is really tired...must have enough rest
then self get ready and off to susan's working place...
self help susan boost sale by buying 6 packets..
then self back to office to complete some work
then before leaving self went over once more
to inform self is leaving and come back at 7pm to fetch susan
self choose to fetch today as haze is so thick ...self care for susan...
susan ask me to come over for dinner..self reluctant but later agree to..
hence self back home to do daily work and about time self again to town for susan
finally is 7pm and susan is here..we drove back happily...
reached susan's house...saw susan's sister was here...
self greet them and later susan bring to me the orange version kitkat
susan mentioned the husband bought for her..
notice susan have top priority and praise things from the dick head despite is cheap skate stuffs..
then self saw the dick head on susan's bed...suddenly head pain strike me painfully...
then we have dinner together...self feel so uncomfortable...
self lower down head and eat as fast as possible and then left...
self one kind already...turbo home asap...self so sad
at night saw susan whatspp self what happened to me..follow up by a call..
self so angry and sad hence didn't reply whatspp and answer call...
whole night self cant sleep....what happened to me...head so painful and nervous

25/09/15
back to work after 2 days off...
eager for lunch break where self went over..
have short chat...self ask susan any muscle ache
susan reply no and show me her new hair do
self reply susan you are always beautiful..
my sister is really beautiful...my sentence to susan
susan smiles....

24/09/15
as promise self turn up to jog with susan
notice susan is weak in exercise
also notice susan have crooked knee...
no wonder self always feel the way susan walk looks one kind
susan try to stretch her leg muscle and self help by holding her..
notice susan will try to avoid self holding her...
well susan you need not be afraid..self have no other intention...
what can i do...susan is married..self must remember this point...
then we went to wet market and have breakfast
then help to unload stuff and self head home...
noted that susan prefer low class stuffs...high end goods not suitable for susan
everyone got their own choice.....self respect it
then self left for home as susan's sister will be coming over..

23/09/15
self call back office with make up story...
coz i want to be with susan...what a naive self
so have to make up story to apply for el...
susan call me in the morning...ask want to join for breakfast
self rejected mentioned self not ready yet...just wake up
actually self have woke up but need to do self maintenance
self maintenance so that is self neat and tidy...
finally is time...self arrive at susan house...
self gave the HK/GZ present to susan
as norm..present is not appreciated..not her taste..
well...self knew it already....sigh....
then we drive all the way for today's agenda
we have light lunch and to the free facial trial...
but later self found out is not facial but is slimming program..
we rejected it and went for shopping instead..
those moment together with susan is self happiest moment
if ONLY time stays...
at night we have steamboat and varieties....
then send susan and family sibling home...
then self home....later receive call from susan...
susan ask where am i....susan i am home...just arrive...
dun worry i am home safely....
susan thanks me for buying so many things for her...
self reply you are welcome...you my XXX
tomorrow susan invite to join in for morning jogging @ 7am

22/09/15
susan sms me on 21/09/15 night
self miss it coz self too tired...
self noticed it only on 22/09/15
ask if i am taking leave and accompany her to the free facial
later self reply susan
susan yes...i will take leave and go with you...
i want to ensure your safety....i will protect you...
then lunch break self went over again to confirm...
to reach susan house at 12pm. tomorrow...
at night self was busy...appointment with new tenant...
new tenant will move in any time this month..
since late self pack those stuffs self bought for susan
self of course appreciate it...but for sure is rubbish to susan
susan will never appreciate...sigh!!!

21/09/15
self back to work
at first no intention to go to work today
as self is too tired and in bad shape...need maintenance first..
but no choice...omega training starts today
self have to be available to assist as promised
lucky self choose to go...self assisted a lot for omega
then lunch break self went to see susan
susan been peeping for self arrival...
does this mean susan is missing self..i doubt so..susan never miss self.
finally we meet up after 8 days of self missing susan
self gave susan the 3 face mask first...
then we have a short chat...
susan told me she manage to get free facial trial...ask if self is free..
self quickly agree...self will go with susan...self want to protect susan
self agree and susan smile...susan smile melts me...

14/09/15 to 20/09/15 pending to write

13/09/15
self leaving for hk trip
self whatapp susan self leaving...
arrive hk...meet up with cousin
then check in and shop around..
at night self on whatspp
susan ask have I arrive...susan i have arrive safely...
Thank God and I miss you......

12/09/15
busy packing....but mind still on susan
i must go and see susan before self left for trip...
should i go morning, noon or wait for 7pm...
self feel so nervous.....why???
self sms but no reply from susan
self feel extra nervous...then decide to call...
call also not pick up....what happened to susan
self again call...finally susan pick up call
confirm susan working and end at 6.30pm
ok self drive down and the last chance to send susan home
self told susan self have fear..i am alone...
susan try comfort self....thanks susan
susan i miss you..definitely i will...

11/09/15
lunch break self went over..
scroll thru number of times but no sign of susan
haze so bad outside...hence self must take care of susan
self went over after work..drop by for susan...
bought susan mask for protection when susan going home...
short chat and self left..back to office...pack and go ....
need to home early to wrap up things before trip to HK/GZ..

10/09/15
susan bought self breakfast and we have a long breakfast
self try best to help susan to fight for an increase in salary
self help susan with sentences...
coincident susan's work place got fire drill training..
self tell susan to be extra careful...
then at night we communicate again on the salary topic..
self help susan to fight or achieve for better...
susan my XXX hence i will help...if others self won't do so..
frank statement from self...ONLY FOR SUSAN...

09/09/15
self need to go on mc...sick...very bad sore throat...weak body
have to rest coz going trip this coming sunday...hence took mc
morning surprises...susan sms self..
susan ask why didn't i go home yesterday night...am i ok...
i was so stunt upon seeing this sms...susan really care for self ???
self reply politely asking how come susan know i didn't go home...
susan reply yahoo and ask me to continue the day happily...
self smile in heart as susan cares...
then self ready to run errands...settle bill, banking and perform forex exchange
then home for self maintenance...
suddenly susan call...asking for help...help to bank in $600 to mabnk for car payment
self agreed without rejection....
then at night we whatspp awhile....susan call self too...
susan will buy me breakfast and got mini mooncake for self...
self smile in heart of appreciation

08/09/15
susan on leave...dull day for self..
hence meet up with david on insurance thingy...
frankly i would like to purchase a savings plan for susan my XXX
but afraid might upset susan and furthermore who am i...
i care but what about susan...does susan care for self...
at night susan whatspp self...dull self as i knew susan with the dick head..
hence self ignore it without reading...left it unread...
furthermore self is sick...very bad sore throat and slight fever...need to rest...

07/09/15
lunch break run errand for susan...
is trx for the hooker daughter...
then self went over to see susan to pass back all her trx receipt...
short chat...susan mentioned certain people are particular of buying shoe for someone...
self told susan self is a simple person simple life...
i dun know got superstition of buying shoe for someone...
actually i knew ...self have fear too...mum always mentioned don't buy shoe for someone...
actually what is the meaning and reason behind this shoe superstition...
becoz is for susan self sacrifice....but is it really worth it...!!!!
NO....don't buy....self have to protect and love myself...
susan wont care for me...i dun want myself in deep shit...must protect myself
late due to adhoc work...ask permission if can go back together...
since no reply as susan could be home early as the fucking dick head is coming back...
as no reply self left...no point wait further...susan is married...must bear this in mind...
later while self about 5 station away from office susan sms...she is leaving now...
ops..too late...self left already....self reply to susan need not wait...self stuck with boss...
i have misunderstand susan...susan finish work at 7pm ...back to normal timing...i guess..

06/09/15
notice susan whatspp at odd hours @ 3.45am...
what the hell so early in the morning....
must be after finish enjoy fucking with the dick head...
self feel so down...feel so uneasy
susan call ask to be home with her tonight...got fried meehoon
self just agreed but feel reluctant to go...
finally is time and susan is here..hop on car...
self gave mooncake and as usual don't want..ask to take back...
then finally reached home...self can sense one kind..
self ask is it convenient for me to come up...actually this sentence means to point to the dick head...
but susan can grasp it...and turn upset asking what is wrong with me...
then self silent and went up...have fried meehoon dinner...
then susan pay me for yesterday banking errand and pay me $200 extra to help her buy nike shoe
self reluctant to take the $200 and susan smack self in front of family siblings and tear the model shoe size diagram...WHAT THE HELL...self feel so embarrass...too bad is raining ....else self quickly escape...
stuck..due to rain...sit down silently and wait for rain stop and self left...
no wonder i can sense something not right...true enough...
self home and didn;t inform susan self home...self angry too...fuck off..
then found out susan did whatspp self mentioned she wont be angry with me
then follow by sms see me tomorrow....
subsequently self calm down and smile back...then we whatspp a while
self feel so uncomfortable after the meal and embarrass moment... almost sleepness night..

05/09/15
early morning run banking errand for susan
where on earth can you find such a dummy like me...
do all things for a friend and no appreciation...
blame no one but self...
is becoz self have fall for susan...hence all this pain..!!!!

04/09/15
self went over with pretend happy face...
to help boost sales sell go buy and sell to colleagues at a loss...
what a stupid idiot am i....sacrifice for susan...but does susan know!!!
susan make use of me....chuck lots of free gifts to me in front of the boss...
make fun of me...make me a dummy....
well self just swallow without saying a word...
at night whatspp me ....self thought susan notice self online and drop by to say hi..
but course is not...ask to run errand again...
hence my sentence below is correct....100% accuracy...
susan need me to run errands only...no caring nor love...

03/09/15
plan to go on leave but should i or shouldn't i
after some thoughts finally decide to take leave
run errands for 9uncle....errands run with anger...
9uncle i am sorry...i have dull mood....
then to jday and back for self maintenance...
at least give self a break....to avoid going to see susan...
at night susan whatspp self mentioning do not show work anger on face
susan you are very WRONG!!!!
is not work...is that i overheard your conversation ....
mentioning you take leave to accompany the dick head....
honest i am jealous...hence hurt...hence show dull and unhappy face...
from here i know susan doesn't understand self...no caring...
susan need me to run errands ONLY...AM I A MESSENGER BOY !!!!
what the hell!!!!

02/09/15
hurt remains...from the day before...
hence plan to ignore susan but can't escape it...as susan need me to run errand for her..
self mentioned i will come over during lunch break to collect the cheque
but susan might have interpret it wrongly....
cant have lunch with me...boss here...
come on...is not lunch together...does susan know that i am a banker..???
and i am a food choosy person too...dislike oily and fried things...
all this while self is sacrificing for susan but does susan know...
banking working hours are NOT FLEXIBLE....
i against the rule just to be with susan....self so naive and wrong.
susan call me ...self ignore it...what's the point...
conclusion is self is jealous...why jealous....
coz i cant share my love with some dick head bastard....
why??? why susan exist and make my life difficult......

01/09/15
back to work...self feel so tired...
must be aging...cant stay up late at night....
lunch break self went over to see susan
heard susan conversation with colleagues..
susan safe up the coming wed 02/09/15 leave to next week
why??? the dick head fucking husband is back...have to spend time fucking...
this hurt self....sudden strike in mind and mood swing...self so hurt..why!!!
susan can save up leave for the dick head ....come on dick head...you are a man....
but when ask to save leave for something else susan will or definitely reject..
what on earth is wrong...!!!!

31/08/15
public holiday...national day
self to susan's house again
have lunch and to karaoke again
again susan's voice and her characters really melts me...
if only......but dun think much ...we can only be sisters...
sisters also impossible ...i think susan just use me...
at karaoke everyone sings well except me..
i am the weak one...doesnt know mandarin...shit...

30/08/15
self have fear....will there be road block...
will i be able to pick up susan...chaos in town
despite all the blocks and danger self insist to go for susan..
self finally at susan's working place...
hiccups after hiccups...and finally susan is out...
susan hop on car and off we go...
send susan home wait for her to shower and out for dinner
after dinner straight for night entertainment...
we went to karaoke.....wow susan sings well.
susan's voice really touch me heart...if ONLY susan is my XXX
self reach home midnight and dose off then...

29/08/15
is noon...self worried about susan safety
send sms to ask how is she and the situation there..
susan reply she is ok...thank god...susan is safe ...
surprise...susan sms me she is going home....
yahoo...yes...see you tomorrow...

28/08/15
initially self plan to go on leave...
but planning cancel due to stand by for idiots...
morning as usual to work...then stop by vegetarian shop..
today is chinese calender day 15...
the day self waiting for to get siew bao for susan
self had vegetarian meal and pack 10 siew bao for susan
since early self send the siew bao to susan's house then back to work..
as usual no appreciation and food to dustbin....
lunch time self boost sale by buying 2 more packets
at the same time show my china visa to susan....
we both ask each other are we working tomorrow
susan is working but self off
tomorrow got bersih rally in town
pray hard susan is ok...god please bless susan

27/08/15
self busy with omega
buy stock then deliver and back to class...
at night we whatspp....self ask can i call you...
topic is how to deliver the vegetarian siew bao...
but self know is no appreciation...hence plan drop off...

26/08/15
susan on leave....
self busy with omega...

25/08/15
during lunch break self went over to see susan
coincident bump into colleague ....lucky got this colleague
to help susan boost sales...hence sales coming in and self starts placing order.
due to work load self stay back and also obj is susan
self want to go back together...hence self ask for permission
ops...self almost miss...susan mentioned she is going home now
sudden panic for self....then saw susan ask me to come down...lets go back...
quickly self pack and go ...once down...saw susan sitting at pave-way...
went to join her and off we go home....
thank god for the blessing....almost miss...

24/08/15
nothing much as susan is busy
just drop by and went off..

23/08/15
went back to self working place for a while
as there is 2 mission to run...return luggage and see susan
lucky and thank god luggage bag able to return
then back to office to print the prostitute photo..
at evening get ready to town to pick up susan from work
finally is 6.45pm...and susan is  here...left early as there is promo fair going on
then send susan home and self left...avoid going up..

22/08/15
on friday night we whatspp for a long while
the topic is doing a movie clips for susan's boss
well self says i will come up with a few version
will bring it over for you to have a look at it...
but self didn't turn up to susan at all..
instead self was at melawati..wasting time there...
9uncle keeps calling...hence got to entertain him
but found that things urgent to 9uncle is not important at all..
upon settle 9uncle task self went to aeon members day at quill
big mall...scroll thru and got my delsey luggage...
then head home....what a running errand day...

21/08/15
self send an early sms to susan...mentioning self to vegetarian shop for lunch
do you want me to pack something back for you for lunch
susan mentioned no need....she got lunch partner..
we shall go on Tuesday....self silent then...
lunch break self went over....susan at booth...
suddenly susan mentioning let go for lunch together....
yahoo...self so happy...self back to work and wait for 2pm..
we board lrt and to vegetarian shop for vegetarian lunch...
we were happy...but suddenly....self hurt...
get to know from susan in november susan back to xx with husband
self suddenly feel the pain and sad....i will miss susan for sure...
at night we whatspp for a long while...
conclusion we were happy....THANK GOD...

20/08/15
self promise to be back with susan today...
reason is to pass cigarette to susan..
hope colleagues around to accompany self to stay till 7pm
but lucky received a sms from susan...
susan mentioned she is back 6:30pm...yes..THANK GOD..
self so happy that is earlier...finally is 6:30pm..
so happy to see susan...susan is my happiness for the day...
dull day at work...being blasted by boss...not my fault...
boss pen down something but want something else....
doesn't tally with what boss told earlier..damn it..
but who cares....i have susan to cheer self up...
escalator not working....susan tired...
susan and self mentioned no matter how difficult we will walk together...
yes...susan...honest from self...no matter how difficult i will stand by you..
i won't let you walk alone in difficulties...honest sentence from self...
finally train is here....susan mentioned she send me home first...
self rejected the option...must be gentlemen...
told susan is hardly she go back early...hence let me send you home first..
train here..susan enter and get sitted...
train move...we wave goodbye.....susan i miss you much...

19/08/15
susan on leave..
but self have errands to run...
have to get luggage bag
hence sneak out for lunch earlier...
bought 2 luggage bag and send luggage bag back to car then lrt back to work
oh...what a running errand day...none at home help...all so selfish....

18/08/15
upon entering saw susan...
ops susan about to walk away..
well self too late...self stroll and stroll...
susan not around ....self then left....

17/08/15
surprise...upon entrance saw susan already
susan having promotion...booth at entrance....
self was at the booth for awhile
when back to office colleagues and boss mentioned they saw at XX booth...
so what...self admit...nothing to hide...susan is my XXX
unable to talk much with susan ...
susan was busy...self stroll and stroll but susan not around...
hence self left...

16/08/15
thank god self able to run sunday evening routine
which is to town pick up susan and send her back
its raining...self pray hard....rain stop...pls stop...finally is stop...THANK GOD..
at first promise to be home together for dinner
but after some thoughts and also to avoid the husband self rejected
self drop off susan and see her went up and self left...
when home self found susan whatspp self with voice mail
mentioning her mother cook a lot of dishes...once she, the mum and sis around..
susan is upset self as self didn't come up for dinner..
self reply with apologies...
actually self wanted much to dinner together but not with the husband around...
sigh!!! the barrier is the husband...

15/08/15
susan whatspp self...add oil for my marathon...
thanks susan...
self participate in the 5km run..
self try hard and manage to complete it...
end up having a certificate and finisher medal...
evening heavy rain..self worry about susan
wonder if susan is home safely..hence self sms susan asking is she home
thank god susan is home safely....
at night susan whatspp me all her company trip photos..
susan so beautiful...THUMB UP...if ONLY susan is my XXX
such a beautiful lady...

14/08/15
self offday to run errand
errand for wilson...is wilson 5th brithday
after birthday party self off to collect running jersey and bib
then home for lunch and celebrate wilson's birthday at home
then the whole afternoon and evening run errand for sis
send home and to clinic...
susan is off too today....company trip today and tomorrow..
self start to miss susan...

13/08/15
susan back to work and self have earlier which is tuesday promise to buy her veg lunch
hence lunch time self went over to confirm susan's lunch
oh what a running errand day...
morning drive down park at XX....purpose to take wilson's birthday cake
then rush home...put fridge all 3 cakes...
then rush back to office...then over to see susan
then train over to buy vegetarian lunch for susan
self caught up with work as tomorrow self is off...
hence stay up to 7pm to go back together with susan my luv
ask susan if self can wait for her and we go back together...
susan mentioned ok..self so happy and we were together heading to stn
susan got her colleague around so susan ask me to go home first...

12/08/15
susan off day
dull day for self a work
no motivation as susan not around...

11/08/15
together for breakfast and lunch
we were happy...

10//08/15
self gave purchase evidence
proof of purchase for susan to claim her bonus

09/08/15
finally daily sunday routine is back to normal
self able to send susan home
no one at home except the mother
hence went up.... we had dinner together...

08/08/15
last day working at goon wah as part time
cant stand the fucking indian bitch
at evening self miss susan much
i guess susan miss self too...
whatspp self..."friend"....if ONLY my sixth sense is true...
we miss each other...

07/08//15
finally after day we able to meet up...
have a short chat and back to work..

06/08/15
susan back to work today
self went over...3 rounds...
round and round...no sign of susan
oh...susan at level 7
despite back to work still unable to meet up


05/08/15
run errand for susan
is based on whatspp on tuesday night

04/08/15
susan still on leave
bored day at work
but at night was good
susan whatspp self ...
we whatspp for a while...so happpy

03/08/15
susan on leave...get to know from susan colleague
self care...what happened to susan actually
why sick for so long...self sms if self can drop by to visit susan
susan reply can...
self skip raya open house and sneak out
rush to susan's house...

02/08/15
sunday....self at office to complete the laminating process for susan
self monitor if can....no sign of susan...or maybe self miss...
finally laminating finish ....self wrap up and head home
should i drop by to meet up with susan
better not...wait till afternoon self sms susan instead...
self sms susan can we go back together
and susan reply that she is on leave...
too bad....the normal sunday routine is gone....
self sad...really sad...really on leave or avoid self....
self miss susan much....really....honest...

01/08/15
as usual self work as a part timer on saturday
actually to kill time...self dont actually need the money
is NOT easy money....no rest and hear the fucking indian asshole keep shouting
before self busy with work self better remind susan once more
susan please don't go to sogo ....rally @ 2pm.. dangerous...
susan reply me...reply she is on leave...
bless....else self is worry....
as for self ....going to work is ok as self is early
but when back from work self try avoid the rally and use different route home
thank god self is safe ......
at night self miss susan much....notice susan whatspp stagnant at 7.15pm...

31/07/15
susan sms self mentioning she is on mc for today and tomorrow
self reply sms mentioning have a good rest...rest more
thought self can go over to see susan today but susan is on mc...
never mind then...self stay to complete the laminating process
saw kiwi on promotion...self bought a pack with intention to visit susan
after some thoughts better not...self with good intention
but afraid the husband might think other wise.....hence avoid...
got email from mbc mentioning there will be rally at susan's working place tomorrow
hence self must inform susan...for her safety...
lucky susan on mc...else self will be extremely worry about susan
at night ask susan if self can call her....susan reply ok
hence self call to inform there will be rally at sogo at 2pm tomorrow...
avoid going to town as well....
at least susan is alert or  inform and stay indoor..

30/07/15
self on leave to run susan's errand...
ranging from TNB issues to get ink for printing photos...
wonder if all this work done is appreciated...
self doubt...

29/07/15
susan on leave....but surprise receive an early sms from susan
sms says can call now...hence self call susan
susan mentioned she is on leave today...need to run errand
one of the errand is to collect blood test report..detect high cholestrol
now on medication....self sad upon hearing this...
then susan also mentioned pls assist or help on the TNB issue
self agree to help...susan THANKS me...
self reply is ok...aren't we sister/friend...what is friend for...
at night susan whatspp self again to THANK me...
whatspp also mentioned she rest early which is true...
no whatapp again after that....self the last....

28/07/15
morning surprise...susan sms self mentioned she bought me breakfast
is my favourite meehoon...yahoo...THANKS...
self waited for susan arrival...pick up breakfast...
but too bad susan cant join self to eat together...is ok...
then we sms for a while and then we began our work...
lunch break self when over planning to buy 6 packets with container version
but too bad this version is not available as occasion is over...
also get to know from susan on aug 14 and aug 15 she will be away for company trip
can self join...just a joke...wish much self can go with susan...
at night could be susan saw me online...susan whatspp self smiley face..
then we whatspp for a while...happy ...smile in sleep...day long happiness

27/07/15
self drop by for a short while
tell susan self is loss...guess what bank wants me to leave for spore tonight
which self rejected it...well well well....what a big xxx
we chat for a while and self left...
at night self whatspp susan...
we communicated a while via whatspp.....happy...

26/07/15
run morning errand
then rush down to meet up with susan for lunch...
after days of miss finally self have the chance to see susan
we have lunch together..we chat...
self describe the housing letter to susan ...and also to pass her some documents
we were happy....then promise i will send susan home @ 7pm...
then self home to do needful....when is about time then again to town
self waited and finally susan is here...
honest susan so beautiful....self send susan home..if ONLY time stays..
finally reach susan's house...self drop off and then home..
drop off and make sure susan is safe then self left..susan's smile...
susan's smile that makes my heart feel GOOD...
self THANK GOD most for today chance and opportunity.

25/07/15
peaceful part time work without the fucking indian around...
so peaceful....hard earn $30...for 5 hours..
at least 5 hours mind is working...
back home mind on susan again...
no hope ...self hurt....susan NEVER call nor whatspp nor sms
so tomorrow sunday how...can i have the chance to wait and send susan home...so loss
then around 7.30pm while self was putting up daily events on this blog susan whatspp self
things change then...happy again...self ask susan when can self call her...
susan thought i was having work pressure....work that drive me crazy
but actually is not work...self sad.....becoz of susan...
hurt by susan whatspp message on friday 24/07/15
finally susan call me ....we chat for a while...
susan voice calm self down...back to happiness
yahoo...we can meet up tomorrow..
meet up for lunch ....ahmm lunch date...
THANK GOD for the chance....

24/07/15
yesterday night self whatspp to mentioned will buy her oilment to rub if in need...
this sentence kills / sucks...damn it...
what the fuck. Gosh the choice of words susan use
reply was you better look after self better...
no need to buy oilment.....do your own things...
i have my love who look after me...
what the fuck of words use...
self was screw up by the words use...
self was so upset which drag from morning till night...
at night susan call...self avoid it..
also inform the whole world 016 is going to terminate on monday...
to avoid brother kenneth paying unnecessary money
also to avoid keep tracking susan ....
self cry and should i end it...the pain in self which have no answer...

23/07/15
received morning whatspp from susan
another day on leave...what the hell...
not enough XXX with the idiot husband...
self got no choice but to accept it...
ok...susan on one more day leave...
later received whatspp again from susan
actually she is on mc...left shoulder pain...
send send regards and wish much to go and visit her
but better NOT...the fucking idiot is here...
to avoid...hence hope in heart susan recover fast
at night self send regards again
mentioned will buy her oilment to rub if in need...
this sentence kills / sucks...

22/07/15
susan on leave...enjoy xxx with the idiot husband
self got NO eyes to see...
dull day....let time pass...

21/07/15
actually self have plan to avoid seeing susan
but due to the whatspp message from susan self went over.
went over to describe and explain to susan the content of the letter..
later the movie topic arises again...
the fucking husband also wants to watch movie too...
hence NOT to put susan is a difficult situation self let go...give up...
self let go...self avoid...i don't want to watch minion
but deep in heart wish much susan can be with self holding hands to watch minion
but is just dream which can NEVER happened...
dull evening...sad....

20/07/15
morning whatspp susan asking susan to bring the cancellation letter...
but later received call from david mentioned susan policy is being cancel
cancel from system since not acceptance..
hence self went over during lunch break to inform is being cancel
is an auto cancel from system hence no need letter to inform about the cancellation..
then we talk a while and minion movie comes up
susan mentioned during her off day on wed can accompany self to watch it..
initially self was happy...but later self think it over....to avoid...
to watch together with the fucking husband....no no...self dislike this situation
hence self went over to inform susan self cannot go...
well self to avoid if can...fucking husband is back..
remember susan is married...to avoid if can...sad self...

19/07/15
heavy rain during the morning period
wonder how susan goes to work...pity my xxx
self need to go to bookfest to get some stuffs.
stuffs bought all because of susan...
self get a laminate machine and etc...to laminate photos for susan
what a stupid naive idiot i am...hard earn part time $ but spend like water...
then ask susan since self at bank can we go home together...
susan reply yes...yahoo...smile from the heart...
actually self not at bank...self to town with an objective
objective is to pick up susan from work and send susan home
finally is 7pm susan is here...self send susan back
is just a drop off...doesn't want to go up...the idiot husband is around..
hence drop off and self back home...

18/07/15
no appointment nor call from susan's end..
understood...the husband is here...self not convenient to join the crowd
hence self opt to go to work....
FUCK THE INDIAN BITCH....STOP YELLING IDIOT!!!!

17/07/15
help out at ms chan shop
becoz self needs money self have to bent down..
if not self would have SLAP that Indian asshole...

16/07/15
surprise morning whatspp from susan
susan mentioned susan is at level 7 till 1pm
self reply noted...self still stick to promise...susan is married...avoid if can
hence self choose to avoid susan...no meet up...
at night susan ask for tomorrow  if self wants to come over for lunch...susan cook...
frankly if susan's husband not around self definitely agree to go over for lunch
but since is the reverse environment self choose to avoid...
self reply you all go ahead and enjoy the lunch...self got work and will eat at bank...

15/07/15
susan on leave...
bore and dull day at work...

14/07/15
self went over and have a long chat with susan
self told susan self doesn't want anything in return
the amount given is my sincere gift to susan as birthday gifts..
coz self doesnt know what susan like...
what if buy something which susan dislike then is a waste...
is a good and caring chat with susan...

13/07/15
today is susan's birthday...
self have send a extra morning wish to susan
no reply ..nor thank me at all..
self sigh...normal...self is transparent...
self meet up with susan and ask if she wants any birthday cake
susan mentioned no need...her younger sister have bought for her...
self wish susan happy birthday and self left...
no eyes to see the happy and xxx moments susan with the idiot husband..
self too tired and dose off...

12/07/15
morning self went back to office for a while to clear things up
then went off to meet up with susan...
told susan i will come pick her up after work...
then we go for dinner....
self have some kind of disturb thoughts...hence self ask...
who will be there for dinner...
susan mentioned is her elder sister, younger sister and mother...
one car can fit all 5 of us...
self counted and counted in heart...is 5 person already
is without the idiot husband...self looks safe...
but self still have sixth sense this idiot husband is around...
then self dont want to ask or talk much and might upset susan
wait till 7pm..pick up susan and finally i am at susan's house...
FUCK IT...the moment i hate and want to avoid...the idiot husband is here..
self ack and self kept quiet...self feel "one kind and disturb" and want to go home...
but self stay for susan...what a difficult period self was having...damn it!!!
back home self was sleepless the whole night....

11/07/15
wanted much to be with susan...
but self have to keep to promise...susan is married...
even though we have happy moments together yesterday this doesn't mean anything
must keep remind self...susan is married..
hence self go for part time work at ms chan shop
hard earn money...stand for 5 hours and just earn $30 ..sigh...
oh...what a tired day...
at night receive whatspp message from susan
message reads...tomorrow wait for me...after work we go for dinner...
self have some odd and disturb feeling...why ...the idiot husband is here...

10/07/15
morning whatspp surprise by susan
is susan..self feel so happy...mood all change...
is susan ask to help run errand for her..
for susan is ok...self willing to do...do it happily too..
wait for lunch break and a quick dash over to collect the boxes of kitkat
then collect the amount to be deposit to pb account...errand run for susan...
then back to office and wait for 2pm to have lunch with susan
is lunch at somewhere i dislike and susan's colleague join in too...
is ok...they go ahead and self sat silently...wait for susan to complete her lunch
then self and susan move to the next table to sort out thing...the prudential thingy
susan reluctant to sign mentioning the letter looks too simple....susan feel something fishy
is ok...self agreed with susan...self mentioned....hang on first
let me iron and clarified things with david...
then we move on as susan needs to run another errand...
then self stop susan a minute...self pass the $1000 bank in slip to susan
self mentioned...susan please dont be angry...is a gift from me to you for your birthday...
intitally susan was upset...mentioning she will withdraw back amount to me...
after some talk finally susan accept my birthday gift...
susan thank me and mentioned we shall go for meal and happy hour when susan's mother gets well
self mention ok...we wait till your mother get well soon...
self can feel susan care for self too...got personal touch and care from susan...
after errand we split and back to our own work...
at night susan whatspp self...will i be coming tomorrow..

09/07/15
finally is thursday...the day susan back to work after 3 days leave
on leave to look after the sick mother
well and also to enjoy XX moments with the idiot husband, i guess..
during lunch break self went over to describe what transpired between self and david
and what susan needs to do...
ask if susan free for lunch at 2pm and self describe further...
but susan turn down offer as she has got lunch appointment with someone...
is ok then...maybe tomorrow...which susan agreed to tomorrow then..
not much conversation despite missing susan for 4 days...cold talk....and still hurt i guess
then self left the place and up to maybank to deposit $1000 into susan's account...
is my sincere gift to susan...susan's birthday gift...
self rush off at 3.45pm as to collect road tax
then dash off to inform susan ...self got something urgent
normally susan will sms or call after work to follow up if self is ok
self waited and waited yet no call....self gave up...
conclusion is self have the end it...susan is married...

08/07/15
self waited and waited
yet no incoming call or message or whatsapp
i guess both party is hurt
hurt by the sentence from myself...
my message on 07/07/15 to susan mentioned self not convenient to drop by
will explain what needs to be done...after clear up things with david...
to self inconvenient caused the idiot husband is here....self wants to avoid..
i guess this sentence hurts...
waited day and night .....looks like no hope....
during this 2 days 07/07/15 and 08/07/15 self is really loss
loss and sad....why....why like this...
finally self have make up my mind...
TO END THE RELATIONSHIP WITH SUSAN
SUSAN IS MARRIED...LEAVE HER ALONE
SELF  IS ADDITIONAL

07/07/15
self loss of direction...
susan's husband is back...self feel heart crack...
honest self is jealous....
but to be honest under such circumstance who will not jealous
self the one who hurt much i guess...i am nowhere...
less communication with susan....
self didn't reply susan whatspp and neither susan reply my sms...
i guess both party have slight crack...
but self have bigger crack...sad...almost burst out...

06/07/15
get the  know from susan she is on leave for 3 days...
from mon 06/07 to 08/07....as the mother is not well
well self must be boring then...but what to do...
knowing susan's mother is sick and self miss susan
self ask if it is convenient for self to drop by to visit susan's mother
susan reply ok but not cross 7pm as they are out for praying
self noted hence ask permission to leave early
then rush all the way and finally at susan's house
pay a short visit and self left...
while at susan's house we communicated...
thru conversation knew that the husband is back..
oh...shit....!!!

05/07/15
sad and boring sunday
but surprise..there is a morning whatsapp from susan
the day starts to shine....self smile....
then self run weekend errand
again another whatspp message from susan..
self so happy...looks like susan miss self too..
but of course self miss susan more...
then self whatspp susan back...
informing that self will be back to bank to study
can we go back together....
susan ask am  driving....yes of course...
actually the whole objective is to meet up with susan and send her back from work...
susan reply ok...self was so happy....yahoo...
then by 6.15pm self ready to town...
waited and slightly panic....time pass and no sign of susan
finally susan call and she is here...
then send susan back and self head home...
thank god for the opportunity...

04/07/15
susan and self didnt communicated...
neither is call or sms or whatspp
self miss susan much..

03/07/15
morning surprise...susan ask to call her...
self noted and call susan immediately
self offer to run errand for susan...ONLY susan..
susan THANKS me...we were happy...
susan boil me ginger water...THANKS...

02/07/15
bought another 7 boxes from susan...
is order place from finance and mcm...
self do this for susan ONLY....
susan bought me sugarcane drink
susan have a zip...initially self mind...
but since is susan my xxxx
self can accept...self zip up the rest....yummy...
self pass the ready printed and laminate buddha protection sheet to susan
susan mentioned thanks and at night we communicated much...
susan mentioned tomorrow she will bring me ginger water to cure my cough...
thanks susan...in appreciation...smile...

01/07/15
susan on leave while self on mc...
self need to run self errand...
need to settle car loan and renew road tax and insurance..
susan and self didn't communicate for the day...
each one have their own errands to run....

30/06/15
after some promo given to mcm and finance staffs finally self got deal close...
managed to get 8 orders...happy...
lunch break when over to see susan...
told susan self need 8 boxes...might need more...
susan smile and thank me...
well ONLY for susan self willing to lower down self..
then distribute the 8 boxes to the relevant buyer...
self at a lost not earning a single cent...
but self dont mind as long as is for SUSAN..
then need another 2 boxes...hence total 10 boxes for the day
at night susan whatspp self whether can carry all 10 boxes on bike
self mentioned can mange...self ok...dun worry...
then we chat for a while....short chat....thanks susan...

29/06/15
surprise...early greetings from susan sis and susan
asking how am i today...self reply at work...
still havent recover...but due to work load have to be at work...
by the way the printing process completes but yet to laminate...
susan's sis ack self work real fast..
lunch break went over and have a short chat...
susan mentioned she saw the buddha paper is ready..
self told susan yes...is ready...waiting to be laminate...
susan mentioned no hurry...please rest as self not well
susan THANKS for concern...
susan's friend mentioned minion...yes minion...
minion visited susan when susan is hospitalised...
minion is the topic...we smile...then self back to office...
in order to boost sales for susan self went to market XX to mcm and finance
well, but who knows....keep it as secret....self want to help susan..

28/06/15
morning errands...then follow by daily errands.
at 6pm self get ready to town...
tonight objective is to wait for susan after work and to send susan home
wait patiently and finally is 7pm...
here comes susan...we have a short chat...
susan knew self is sick from my voice tone..
susan mentioned lets head home....she go for shower and we go for light dinner
self nodded..self smile and both of us smile...
at susan's home...susan's sisters (2) were here...
self say hi and shy off...
then we went for dinner and then head back to susan's home...
susan makes me honey lemon to smoother my throat ...
then self head home...dose off....sick...

27/06/15
massive jam at sogo...parking full...
thought of parking at road side..is a quick one...
but no no...lots of traffic police around....
be safe then sorry...then decide to park at MBC..
then went over to help suan buy 15 boxes...
susan offer to help me carry over....but self wont allow
of course wont allow susan to carry for me...is heavy...self can manage
then send the 10 boxes to ms.chan...THANKS ms. chan...
then head home...do daily errands...then rest....self not well...

26/06/15
siti ask to accompany her to run errand...
at first self reluctant too...coz self have things to do...
self want to go over to see susan..
after next persuasion from siti self agreed to accompany her
susan saw self with siti...susan know i am NOT happy with siti...
susan signal self....self smile from far...
accompany siti back to office..then another round over to see susan
tell susan self have found customers and i will come over to take 15 boxes tomorrow..
self being helping susan to promote...i want susan to achieve the bonus incentive..
self beg ms.chan to help me buy 10 boxes which ms.chan agreed to...THANKS..
THANKS ms.chan...IN APPRECIATION you help me...THANKS AGAIN...

25/06/15
self went over to collect the updated insurance form...
application form to remove the divorce husband from the policy...
then self forward the application form to david our agent to settle it...
susan mentioned she have expenses burden with another medical policy
self willing to help but susan insist to cancel it...reason being ....
as she has an existing medical card which is enough..extra expenses burden...
self noted...

24/06/15
yahoo...self offday to be with susan
self have promise susan self will help her with her insurance mater...
however, it was delay weeks as both of us busy and susan was hospitalised for a while..
finally today is the day....we went to 2 insurance companies..which is Prudential and AIA
susan would like to remove her earlier husband name from the policy...
susan mentioned the first husband is a bad person..
didn't treat susan good and cheat susan's money...
while doing the insurance thingy we talk about medical card...
susan then bought another policy which comes with a medical card..
susan persuade self should get one too...
after thinking over self agreed to take up the policy...is for self good...
as for BENEFICIARY self put SUSAN....HONEST... is susan...
is self dead i want susan to have the portion of money to have a better life then...
at least this is what self can do for susan...
upon settle all insurance matters we head home
susan cook for me to eat....nice dishes....yummy...
thanks....susan you are so beautiful...if ONLY...
behave....have promise to behave...we are sisters ONLY..

23/06/15
initially self have no plan to go over ...coz we will meet up tomorrow..
however, while self at work received sms from susan
susan ask to come over for awhile if free
if can help her to take and carry some goods back first..
self noted and agree to help...
help susan take and carry some gifts for susan from customers back home..
then discuss what time we should meet up tomorrow..
self noted timing and then back to work...

22/06/15
self went over during lunch break....
short chat and then back to work...
we were happy...

21/06/15
morning self at office to help susan print some promotion leaflet
then send it over to susan and at the same time buy another 3 boxes
self will help...i will ....ONLY for susan
then back home and to xxx to settle logon issue
issue solved then rush home
did some self maintenance and off to xxx
self have promise susan tonight self will pick susan up from work @ 7pm
self happy and so do susan
after susan shower we went for vegetarian dinner..
then self send them back and back home
ops...self sleepness night....why???
could be the chinese tea or self too happy...
honest self very happy with susan presence with self...

20/06/15
self waited for susan arrival...
we have breakfast together...we chat for a while...
we were so happy together...if ONLY time stays...
then self help susan to do some promotion printing
then bring it over and help up there....
we were so happy...thank god...
reserved the evening for wahab...
but too bad...no call then plan off...
is being some months self didn't visit wahab...

19/06/15
when over to see susan during lunch break...
we were happy to meet each other...
susan have extra bonus...susan really deserve it...
not an easy job....self is glad for susan too...
at night susan call self the will be soup and breakfast for self tomorrow..
self so happy and almost have sleepness night...
thanks susan...in appreciation....

18/06/15
painful lunch break..miss susan but control self not to go over...
susan call self twice...ops is a miss call...
finally self have forgive susan...self call susan back...
susan thanks for concern...self miss you
ok...will listen to you...if not well see doctor

17/06/15
susan call me and whatspp me to ask concern
as self was hurt self ignore all sms whatspp and  call from susan
sad self....miss susan much...
miss and hurt.....

16/06/15
despite tired but still back to work...
at home..how to rest...high voice and disturbance...
better back to work and meet up with susan...
eager for lunch break...finally lunch break is here...
self when over to meet up with susan...
both of us so happy....we chat and smile...
susan you are so beautiful...do you know i miss you much
self gave the special gift to susan...to self is special
but to susan is something norm...self slightly hurt...
at night whatspp susan informning self not well...
might not turn up for work tomorrow...self hurt...

15/06/15
last day in bangkok...have breakfast and off to airport
snap the last few photos and back to home...
finally self home...at night whatspp susan..the one i miss most
yahoo from susan and self as well......we can meet up tomorrow...

14/06/15
wake up at 2.30am...ready for odd hours shopping at bobay market
shop around...then cab back pratunam market...
business yet to open at pratunam market...still early
hence a breeze browse thru and back to hotel for breakfast
after breakfast they back to bed...self idle around and then to swimming pool..
then ready for pratunam market...shop around..
then back to hotel for shower and packing...
next to platinum mall...shop around and have dinner...
then back to hotel to unload stuff and when for massage...
then get a special souvenir for susan...name embossed keychain
to self is special....hope is special to susan too....
physical body in bangkok but mind is ONLY susan..

13/06/15
is weekend...must go to chatuchat...is only available on weekend..
shop around then back to hotel for lunch..
then ready for chocolate ville...
then back to hotel and then out for dinner..
dose off then...too tired...

12/06/15
poor wifi connection and is too late to reply susan yesterday night
hence reply susan today...thanks susan..self landed safely..
then have breakfast and join in the half day tour...
then shop around (Sanrio Hello Kitty, MBK, Chinatown, Flower Market, Palladium Night Market)
then back to hotel to sleep

11/06/15
final round of packing and at noon sharp off to airport
self sms and whatspp susan...to inform self leaving for bangkok...
susan reply and encourage me to be strong, no fear, god will bless me..
thanks susan...god will bless me....no fear
finally self in bangkok...clear custom and immigration and out to arrival hall...
FUCK IT...the airport transfer is not there to pick me up...
...self panic...really panic...then cool down...ask where can get cab to hotel..
then finally got it and taxi to hotel...
get message from cousin at reception and we meet up finally..
then off to dinner and shop around...
as is too cold to put up on the floor and self is aging and weak...
hence ask for extra bed...at a charge of thai bhat 100....(ok worth it)
connect to wifi...susan has whatspp self...asking have self landed ...
susan thanks for concern self landed...self miss you much...
maybe timing overshoot and too cold ...can't sleep at night...

10/06/15
self offday...start packing for bkk trip..
so selfish of my family members...non help and keeps yelling
who cares....as self is rubbish to them....
so unfair to self....
self have slight fear...self travel alone...
in heart miss susan much...
whatspp susan at night and susan reply...we chat for a while...
self ask susan if she is free or around for me to drop to see her before self fly off..
susan reply no need....no need to waste energy running here and there...
self noted susan advise....but deep in heart the word MISS SUSAN
susan i will definitely miss you much....

09/06/15
self have to wrap up all pending work ...
self will be away for a week...on compulsory leave..
oooo...what a day at work...so much work...
as usual...last minute...lots to clear off...
miss susan much...if only self can see susan...

08/06/15
nothing special too...
as susan is not around...
work and back home

07/06/15
nothing special
sunday errand and home to do personal document maintenance

06/06/15
self continue with members day shopping spree..
then home to rest...
but mind cannot rest....is on susan....
honest self miss susan much....
suddenly phone rang....yahoo...is susan
we chat for a while...is quite long too...
susan i will be away to bangkok for a few days...
will you call me or can i call you...i will definitely miss you much...

05/06/15
self rest enough and back to work
but before to work plan to visit susan
hence self make an effort to hospital first..
bring along a minion toy with self for susan...
as usual the room door was open..self peep first...
damn it again...susan sleeping and the husband is here...
hence self left and proceed to reception to ask about susan's condition
after asking on condition self ask  the nurse to pass the minion toy to susan
then self left hospital and to work...
around 9am susan whatspp self the minion toy ...
self smile from heart....susan...i really miss you...
susan send me voice recording too...
ask why didn't come in....my husband here..so you don't want to come in...
susan, you should know ...i miss you ....you know i like you much...
since your husband here...i won't come in...i will choose to avoid...
actually what happened to susan...why till now unable to certain what kind of sickness
self get worry...plan to ask dr bala opinion after work...
then later susan whatspp self mentioning she can discharge today around 5pm...
ok..good news..susan all the best...finally you have recover...THANK GOD...

04/06/15
self on mc....too sick to go to work
and also to give self a rest...too tired...
and also coincident is members day...
self have to shop for some clothing...
new clothing for travelling as well for daily wear...
have to shop fast to avoid office bastard...
quick shop and left at 12pm.....and then home
around 4pm plus susan call self...
by accident self pick up the call....
susan ask how am i....self explain.....
self ask susan how is she...anyone around...can i come and visit you...
susan mentioned yes someone around and can come to visit...
self was so happy then plan to go over to visit susan...
self bring along some fruits for susan...
when there saw door was open and doctor was around for duty...
ops...saw something i hate seeing....the husband is here with susan
hence self left...to avoid...then head down and go home...
at home whatspp susan self not well...can't come...bleeding...

03/06/15
self feel so hurt and slightly not well...
but have to be back to work to settle some outstanding
then took half day back home to see doctor...not well...
then whatspp susan sis informing self wont be able to come..
can't come as self not well ....vomit and "internal bleeding"
"internal bleeding" as self is badly hurt by susan....
then at night susan call and whatspp self...
self ignore it...self really hurt....but finally can't cheat self...
self open up the whatpp voice recording...is susan asking how am i...
please don't let anything happen to yourself...consult doctor if in need...
above sentence is susan advise...so sweet and kind of susan
suddenly the hurt cures....started with susan and end with susan...
but fever, sore throat and mild cough remains...
took medication and rest....

02/06/15
woke up as usual....well self is tired...not enough rest...
then get normal daily needs for susan....
bring it over to the hospital first....leave it there...at least can utilise it when in need..
then turbo to brother kenneth's house for papaya leaf
thanks to brother kenneth...brother in fact is blending the extract for me..
brother kenneth...deep appreciation of your kind offer...
then rush back to hospital.....gave susan the extract to drink...
of course things done will never be appreciated...i know...
this is where problem starts......fuck it...!!!
get to know the husband in town already and coming over...
hence self need not to be there....self is additional....
becoz of this word "additional" susan and self feel discomfort...
self left ....is it fair to myself....when all things done...then only the dick head is here...
dick head here for what...for fucking....
put yourself in my shoe...of course you will feel hurt too...
honest...i am jealous....i dislike the dick head....i avoid the situation...
jealous becoz of one thing....susan you should know why i jealous...
send susan's sister home and self home to rest...
later susan call to blast me....why jealous and etc....
self hurt and try to avoid then....

01/06/15
self quickly finish up work as there is errand to run tonight
leave sharp so that self can reach susan's house on time 7pm...
opss...self slightly late due to rain...
drove all the way and we reach dr bala...
follow up on yesterday issue....ops....report looks bad
blood palette count drops to 105...symptom of dengue
dr bala suggest susan to be admitted...
susan insist to be admitted to ampang general hospital...
but self objected...self prefer pantai medical which is more efficient...
then self drive susan home and pack some clothes to get ready for admission...
well...maybe each family is different....the family members looks cool..
not panic at all....slow motion is every thing..
in opposite i am the one who is in a panic and hurry situation/..
is need of papaya leaf to cure susan...
brother kenneth should have it...self keep calling...
what is happening....brother kenneth not picking up my call...
see...told you....when i in need of help everyone ignores me....
what kind of people or idiot....the world is full of bastards...
finally able to get hold of brother kenneth....brother kenneth has got papaya leaf...
ok will arrive at brother kenneth's house tomorrow morning to get it...
notice susan is scare...?? or what ??? crying???
why cry...cry because the husband not around....i guess so....
but what can the dick head husband do....
susan you have me your little brother....i am capable of handling things for you...
finally susan decided to admit to pantai medical centre.....
as usual long procedure.....able to admit only at 1am...
nothing much self can do....hence go home....

31/05/15
my miss for susan remains...
but to my surprise...susan sms and call self..
it was a miss call....as self was downstairs doing self cleaning...
susan sms reads....few days didn't see each other how are you...
self feel so touch ...if only we were xxxx
self call back but it was a miss call...
later susan call me...we chat for a while...
susan mentioned today she is not working...tomorrow uncertain ...
susan mentioned she will let me know...self noted...
then self run errand...suddenly susan call again...
susan ask how to detect dengue.....any blood test done and result on the spot
self uncertain and will find out...hence a quick walk to dr.bala...
yes...result on the spot...then she quickly notify susan...
told susan i will help...let me help you...i won't leave you alone...
then susan ask to come her house at 11am...which i did arrive on time...
self drive susan to clinic and did inspection.....lucky susan is fine...
blood palette normal...maybe susan is having flu and fever...
dr bala ask to come back tomorrow at 7pm for follow up....ok noted..
susan look sick...but no matter what condition to me susan is beautiful...
then we have light meal and self send susan home to rest....
have a good rest susan...god bless you..
susan you can count on me......i will help you....honest...

30/05/15
self at office to complete some pending work
since at work did monitoring...
finally saw susan coming to work....
cant get close to susan.....but at least the view is enough for self
i miss susan deeply...wish much susan will call or whatspp self...
but know self must be dreaming....susan must have forgotten self
a surprise !!! susan whatspp self at night...immediate happiness for self...
susan do you know i miss you so...

28/05/15 - 29/05/15
self avoid going to see susan
but deep in heart self miss susan much...honest...
self being waiting for sms and whatspp but turn out none
susan must have forgotten self...
sad self..almost burst out...

27/05/15
susan whatspp to 016 line
ask why didn't open whatspp and reply her...
self ask in heart ...must i open it and reply...
susan you never me at times too...self do hurt..
susan says go see doctor and rest a home..
she is not a doctor cant cure me..
actually self have no fever...self just feel being used...
doctor cannot cure me.....only one person can...
and the person is susan ....ONLY susan can cure me...coz it started with susan...

26/05/15
sad self....self feel so heat up..
sleepness night makes me feel reckless at work today...
who cares....dull day...no whatspp and sms...which self being waiting for...
to my surprise...susan did whatspp at 11pm...
message sounds like this....friend how are you..
self feel being used...hence ignore the message...didn't open

25/05/`5
susan on leave
together with the hooker daughter go to see the new house
self being helpful sms susan....susan if you are in doubt you can ask me...i will help
at night susan blast me....doesn't seems to trust and appreciate what self told and highlight to susan
the fucking agent who is also the relative is much better...wont bluff them...
come on...fuck off....if you think the agent is so grand and good why ask me..!!!!
to me susan thinks her daughter is so grand...can manage so well...
but to self...the daughter looks like a hooker more...\
maybe i am wrong...but i don't think my sixth sense on this hooker is wrong...
i trust my sixth sense...the daughter is a hooker.....sleepness night after the blasting...
lesson learn...NEVER offer to help....NO APPRECIATION...
in return point the gun to self and sounds like i am cheating them...
NO MORE NEXT TIME!!!!

24/05/15
early morning susan send me a letter
is a property purchase letter from the developer
the daughter is buying a property at sg long, landmark 2
susan is doubtful about the letter content
hence self read and explain briefly...
susan is rushing out for work hence self unable to explain further
self ask susan if self can drop by at 2pm to explain further..
susan noted yes...
hence self meet up with susan at 2pm and have lunch together..
self explain in details to susan item by item and point to ask or probe further
susan look loss...susan ask self to join her for dinner tonight...
dinner and at the same time to explain to her sister and daughter..
self agreed and self say i will come and pick susan up after work..
both of us smile...then susan back to work and self back home
do needful at home first then down to XX for susan..
ahmm...able to pick up susan from work...don't you think is like XX and XX..
finally susan is here...we smile.....drive home..
explain and wait for the daughter to come back..
OMG...my first look at the daughter....is like a hooker...
to me the daughter so proud of herself and so arrogant...
self wanted to avoid but susan want me to join in for dinner..
self was force to go......after dinner ....self home...
honestly i don't like susan's eldest daughter.....an arrogant bitch...
fuck it......can't sleep the whole night....WHY????

23/05/15
self forget about the bad...self go shop around...
need to get self a sleeping bag...self going to travel soon...
destination is bangkok...
physical body shops around but mind on how to settle the bill issue...
around evening susan call self....
self forgive susan hence pick up the call...
self told susan this is the outcome and self is loss on how to settle it...
i don't stay with susan hence self don't know how they consume so high volume...
who is dishonest here...self don't know....

22/05/15
bad mood continues...due to sleepness night
self avoid meeting up during lunch...
self tired and restless due to sleepness night the night before...
hence skip lunch and go back earlier...
while go back drop by susan workstn...
self told susan self high fever..go back...
self left without turning back to see susan...due to deeply hurt...
on the way home susan sms call and sms self...
self feel heat up...self didn't reply nor pick up call neither...
self still think susan is rude to me...heartless person...

21/05/15
initially self on leave today to standby for the TNB man to come over for meter inspection.
but due to work...self have to cancel it...
of course self have to look after myself first...is my rice bowl..
hence self left the TNB case alone..as uncertain the TNB will come or not..
at work self doesn't know whether susan at work or not...
but self choose to avoid...
fuck it...at night receive call from susan...
at first self was happy ..is susan calling me...
but turn out to be a nasty call...susan call to whack me..
ask why didn't I inform that TNB ppl is coming and etc.....
and the dick head husband sign the paper ack the meter is reading correctly without witnessing it..
what a dick head idiot...
am i wrong...why blast me...so rude of susan...
after conversation ended self throw the phone...
what the hell...susan so rude and cool blooded to me...
sleepness night....who am i...

19/05/15 - 20/05/15
silent day...nothing much
to work and back from work...dull life...
but the other party (susan) happily fucking day and night...

18/05/15
self sms to ask susan how is she feeling today...
susan reply she is on leave...
ahm....husband back...fucking happily...
since then...self silent...who am i....

17/05/15
running out of glossy paper...self make a move to xx to get additional paper and ink..
then rush home for the printing process
finally self have completed the photo printing for susan
self sms susan can self go back with susan at 7pm
no reply...and self can't wait further...
hence self drive down...and when almost reach susan's working place...
susan sms...she is at home...not well...at home resting
hence self turn back and turn to susan's house
pass susan the stack of photos and the pin board...
as usual hard work will go own to drain...no appreciation...
susan look sick...suddenly self feel sad for susan...
self doesn't want to disturb...self left...

16/05/15
susan confirm insurance agent refunded her...
sign of relief to susan...susan is happy
so am i...the little brother who can help
today stay home waiting for the TNB ppl to attend to susan's house
waited and waited but no turn up..
self run errand too at the same time...
running to places to get a board to pin up photos and do photo printing..

15/05/15
early concern from susan....thanks susan for caring...
meet up during lunch....
we chat and self did a photo printing for susan
susan like it much...
self ask can we go back together tonight....susan say ok...
since is friday self home first...
light exercise then rush back to XXX for susan
ops...train problem....self slightly late
when self arrive saw susan sitting at pave way look so sad...
susan explain the problem she is facing with her insurance agent...
self advise susan to be extra careful...
then susan ask if self can help her talk to the agent
self agreed...self spoke to agent...self blast the agent..
self told susan i will help and protect you susan...
i wont let anyone bully you...
is HONEST sentence from self...i will protect and wont let anyone bully susan
after the conversation we went home together..
at night susan told me the agent have credited back her account
susan is so happy...problem resolved...
susan i wont leave you alone...
i will help and protect you ....wont let anyone bully you...
i am your little brother...who always be with you....

14/05/15
susan call self ...susan bought me breakfast and boil soup for rme too...
self waited and once susan arrive self walk to help susan carry her stuffs..
is like xxx and xxx....we were happy...we were...
we had breakfast together...self  have something extra...soup for self..
then susan expose her identify....this is her second marriage
the first husband is a bad person...never care for susan...
in return susan have to care for the bad husband..
now i know why the children is name after susan's surname..
second marriage....susan why.......anyway self respect susan...
later in the noon...we have lunch together too...
self was slightly loss and unable to concentrate at work...second marriage...
self loss... self avoid going back with susan at 7pm as promise..
frankly self is slightly not happy...sad for susan...and also curious of susan...
susan did care...keep asking how am i....am i ok...
self reply politely,....self can handle it...thanks for concern
but honestly self is LOSS....susan why....

13/05/15
self on leave to run errand for susan
self willing to sacrifice for susan...only susan...
self to XXX to settle to electricity billing issue...
then settle some banking issues ...
then rush home...to run self maintenance
then susan call me to come to her house at 5:30pm
ok self agreed...thank god self was punctual...
then we went for vegetarian dinner...
then second round we hang around for beer...
beer with cactus...well is fun to beer around with cactus...
to me is the best moment for self...self sitting so close to susan
we chat and went thru all those PD photos..and susan insurance thingy
self was curious ...how come the daughter name after the susan's surname...
but self never ask...just curious...self respect susan...
why bother...as long as self is happy with susan
happy moments...the best moment in self life....THANK GOD...
self stay up late...sleepless night...too happy i guess..

12/05/15
morning surprise...susan call me...buy me breakfast
self must be dreaming...is been months susan didn't buy self breakfast
happy and "sweet" breakfast with susan
susan ask me what sort of shampoo i use...
well...self is a simple person...any brand will do...
susan show me a flask....where it can maintain hot for  hours...
is a free gift from buying shampoo and some other stuffs...
ok self agreed to get one more additional flask for susan
but susan is late tonight...back at 8pm...to replace the early release on mother's day
8pm...self go home first...unload stuffs...and then back to xxx for susan
self finally able to get a flask for susan
we were happy...susan's smile so sweet....
we chat on we will alert each other on tomorrow progress...

11/05/15
went over to see susan during lunch break
ask susan to bring a least a few of previous month electricity bill
told susan self have apply leave to settle this electricity issue for her..
susan told me she wont join me coz susan need to settle her personnel issue..
is something to with susan insurance with ING and AIA
told susan is ok....susan you need not go...i can handle it...
at night self remind susan again to bring at least a few month bill for supporting evidence

10/05/15
headache day....so much work to be done
ranging from TAT to impaired loan application to TNB
but no heart concentration....coz mind and heart fly to ....
who else is susan....

09/05/15
whole day spend at brother kenneth's house...
learn praying ...chanting....and help out on the refinancing
of late brother kenneth business has slow down and making lossess...
brother kenneth is planning to sell off his house....
self wanted to help by buying over the property...
self plan to help....but will self be safe...self the naive one....
will brother kenneth cheat me....self do have fear too....HOW!!!

08/05/15
brother kenneth was in town....
since brother kenneth is a full vegetarian now...
no choice but to settle down with sandwiches only...
then beg brother kenneth if he can join me to go over
go over to see susan...brother agreed to go...THANKS
susan, brother kenneth and self all meet up...
short chat as everyone is busy.....then we left.....

07/05/15
susan pass self the TNB bill for investigation
opsss....to me surprise too....
why such a sky rocket bill....
self promise susan self will help to investigate....

06/05/15
self reported on el....
as self have errands to run....
to fix up faulty laptop and to get some stuffs as well...
then later in the evening call up susan
self cal up susan and ask if she is free for me to drop by
susan say yes...hence self HAPPILY drove all the way to her house
we meet up...susan so beautiful.....we have simple lunch together...
then later susan invited self to join in for dinner....
initially self agreed but later self phone to turn down offer...
coz too often as times end up ugly...

05/05/15
get ready with goodies for susan
plan to go back together at 7pm...
but looks like have to change planning
not much people at work hence none stayback...
self alone...scary...hence self left too...
today tele-conference with Niaga, Jakarta...
self is just a small fish there.....help to setup
but susan did sms self to be steady confident and work hard...
THANKS susan...you are my encouragement
actually we bump into each other but didnt acknowledge...
self was at sandwich stall and she is heading for coffee...

04/05/15
offday due to wesak fall on sunday..
but if not wrong susan is working today...off yesterday
nothing much...back to office to complete some work...
miss susan much...look thru photos...susan so beautiful and sweet...

03/05/15
wesak day...
susan offday as welll...info get to know from susan's sis
well full of running errand for self...
initially brother kenneth invited self to jin in for live liberation
but later brother kenneth mentioned something urgent pops up
event have to be cancelled...
since cancelled self perform running errand earlier
first pick up 9uncle and send him home.
then self join kkf at stn....for transport sick...
then home...quick meal and off to 9uncle house..
then off to xxx temple...
is a yearly affair for self....
respect god....who always at my side to protect and bless me..
THANK GOD...

02/05/15
self complete self errand...
need to get daily items...
then home to perform daily chores...
then around 4pm...off to airport to pick up 9uncle
9uncle back from HK..

01/05/15
self ready for the day
self drove all the way to susan house
then head forward for vegetarian meal
then home to solve sd issue and power bank
then off to town for movie
but too bad movie timing doesn't match
hence turn back home to rest
susan invited me in to her room to have a short nap
at first self reluctant to...but self unable to control ...
finally self enter susan's room....we have a short nap...
self behave...we did nothing in the room...
susan mentioned her husband is married...
self reply ..yes married to you , susan
susan says no...he got another woman out there..
hei...what is the meaning of the sentence...self silence..
self wanted to tell susan...no matter what happen susan you still have me...
i am willing to take good care of you....i will and willing to do so...
then we out for steamboat dinner...
self have beer with cactus...from here get to know cactus better...

30/04/15
self in bad shape but still insist to go over
went over and we discuss over tomorrow meet up itenary
see was so happy....happy ....can smile in sleep i guess....
eager for tomorrow outing day with susan my .....

29/04/15
susan call asking about the sd card which consists of her photo...
and also the power bank which i bought for her...
self reply self will solve it when come may 1
around evening susan sms self...
mentioning that she prefer to call me friend instead..
friend...i thought we are closer now...we are sister and brother..
self really loss and doesn't know what susan has in mind....
then at evening and night susan call again...
self have fear...and plan not to pick up...
self fear that susan cancel meet up on may 1
maybe to susan the meet up is nothing but to self is very important
after 3 miss call finally self pick up the call...
looks like is nothing...may 1 meet up still on...
fear gone....self smile....

28/04/15
today lunch break didn't go over for meet up either
self in bad shape so better not...
but self can't deny my miss for susan
hence self stay back just for susan...have fear as majority left
self ask if self can go back with susan at 7pm...
susan no reply...hence self waited for a while and left...
as there is no reply self wont force susan...self go off...
with extra sad feeling self board train and go...
suddenly susan call....asking where am i...
lucky self not far...just one station ahead...
susan says she will alight and meet up with me...
self say no need...which track you are in.,...i drop in instead
finally train arrive and self saw susan...self hop in to join susan
self gave the blue transparent bag to susan and short chat..
susan mentioned she got 2 days off...may 1 and may 3...
may 1 plan can go ahead but may 3 she got something on....
time passes fast ...self reach interchange stn and have to alight.
initially sad but with happy ending...

27/04/15
monday..by right i will go over to see susan
but self didn't do so....
heart want to go but force self not to go...
coz self was not properly maintain and too often ends up horrible

26/04/15
is a bad day...
water was accidentally pour onto asus laptop
unable to boot up....OMG!!!!
my data!!!!

25/04/15
lunch with wahab at "J"
in conjunction with wahab birthday tomorrow...
ok..good one...but heart seems to miss susan much...
susan called mentioning after lunch she need to go to clinic
why?? hat happened???
susan's ear enter water...unable to hear...
susan says she can manage..ok then...else i will go with susan
i wont leave susan alone...

24/04/15
lunch self went over to see susan
susan sounds cold to self...
of course ..happy moments are over...
who am I ...self is just the naïve one...

23/04/15
finally fantasy end and back to reality...
we check out...but before checkout we have our final swimming
we swim we have water polo game...
the best was the "flying bath towel" moment
susan so beautiful and sexy and yet so sweet.....
self also drown .....but self behave.....
we are brother and sister ONLY...
nothing much....
but those flying towel moment is really GOOD...
then back to shower and ready to checkout...
dun know why I accidentally bump into susan ...
susan was naked...I saw susan's back portion completely....
susan is NOT aware self saw her...then self quickly close door and left....
then back to kl we stop by to meet up with susan sister and god sister
we have chat break and we head home
I send susan and kids home then self heading home alone..
the end...of sweets moments...

22/04/15
morning self was extremely happy...
I am ready for PD trip with susan
I real...trip with susan...
we meet up ..have breakfast and off to pd..
the trip consist of me, susan, susan son and daughter
we enjoy the trip
we eat we laugh we cycle and we swim together...
many times we have personal touch...arghmmm...
but later self feel uneasy....SAD....
sad as to why self born to a "unhealthy family"
unlike susan ....she is happy ...happy family
if not wrong...the husband is a cook...
sad self...feel uneasy...hard to sleep...

21/04/15
self extra early to work
I need to go back by 2pm latest...
objective is to send car for check up and to clean self
thank god self able to go off by 1.30pm
then straight go over to see susan
informed self leaving now...collect car...
we smile and we were happy...
then rush home to run errand
send car for checkup and must clean up self...
then busy with packing...
yahoo...trip with susan...
am I dreaming....is true....trip with susan...
THANK GOD...

20/04/15
self look foolish today
haircut accident...cut to high up and too short...baldy
lunch break went over to see susan...
we have a short chat...good one....
susan notice self have haircut...baldy monk..hahaha...
then back to work....
have to complete it...self on pd trip this coming wed
back home drop by to see dr bala
to get some medication to postpone "P"
else "P" will spoilt the pd trip fun..

19/04/15
self busy with slides...errghhh

18//04/15
self awake extremely early at 4am to complete work
lots of work to be completed before self on trip
then also decided to be back to office at 5pm
actually self have fear to be back at this timing
but be confident self went..
actually the objective is susan also to copy some files home to do
self work for a while and then come to 7pm
self meet up with susan..we chat about trip
self willing to subside 70%....I dun mind paying more...just for susan
when self come out from lrt susan call me...
it was a surprise and happy ending call...
we chat for a while and susan accept me as her sis...
sister...self EXTREMELY HAPPY...yes we are sister than friend..
sister...can I be little brother instead...hahaha...
so happy ...smile in sleep...THANK GOD MOST..

17/04/15
self was so angry
loaded with work
as self also not proper maintain self go over to susan just for a short while
update susan on trip progress..
told susan what discuss with her daughter and self up up suggestion
susan reply wed is good ...she can join in as well..
THANK GOD...susan is coming along....
Yahoo...self home early and skip daily routine
wrap up hotel information searching and booking...
smile in heart that susan joining us...

16/04/15
brother Kenneth was in town
ask to dop by and we shall go lunch together
at the same time to chat on current status
since time was occupied with brother self didn't go over for susan
but susan call me around 7.10pm..
the time she is going home
ask what the status...self reply I didn't come over today...
busy ...down to branches for work...
self will firm things up with Susan's daughter and to notify susan accordingly..

15/04/15
susan on leave
self called susan mentioning self found some place of interest
susan at home offday busy with house chores
we spoke a while and individually back to work
susan called me 3 times around 11pm plus
ops maybe self was too tried..
didn't notice the 3 miss calls until Thursday morning

14/04/13
didn't have intention to go over..
susan's hangbag arrived.
no plan to stay to pass to susan
cos nobody stay back...self will be alone...scary
hence opt to go back...
surprise...at night received Susan's call
susan ask on behalf of her daughter
ask if there is any 3D2N trip around $300
self promise to look for susan
since is request from susan self will entertain
if others no way....

13/04/15
drop by to say thank you for the many gifts
coz yesterday when go help boost sales susan gave me extra gifts
actually is thank you and to see susan
then self waive goodbye and goes off...

12/04/15
help to boost up sale for susan
hence self bought 6 packets...
I am the first customer too..
well but who cares....doubt susan appreciate self
honest sentence from the heart
I have heart for susan but susan have any for self
at times self is an orphan..sigh!!!!

11/04/15
we promise to have lunch today
happy and sad...
did stupid things...accompany susan's daughter
afraid the daughter will get loss and for safety self accompany till home
ONLY for susan...else if based on self attitude I wont do it..
I WON'T except for SUSAN...

10/04/15
susan sms if can meet up tonight instead
looks like have to go...cant skip
self promise to go...
have fear...and afraid see things I don't like to see..
but end up a good one...
meet up the mother, daughter, sister and god sister..
we have steamboat...susan look so beautiful...

09/04/15
at night susan sms me asking to come out for meet up
self call susan immediately
according to susan the whole family members want to see me
ops looks like self is a vip or xxx
or it is something "fishy behind"
at first self agree to go...
then double thought will self in danger...
then self call to cancel self present...able to come..
wanted much to go becos of susan
avoid becos of Susan's family members and self might in danger..

08/04/15
caught by surprise as susan was working..
ops self not I good look...
discuss where to go for meet up
self suggest xxx but susan says is too far
self then let susan to decide

07/04/15
avoid going over during lunch break
meet up at 7pm to deliver parcel instead
susan ask have I recovered...
yes I have recovered...back in shoe...
we were happy together , aren't we...

06/04/15
after 2 weeks of torture finally able to see susan
didn't talk much
susan pay me the cigarette amount and then off I go...
never talk much...afraid drama again
self on slipper and susan seems not concern..
is ok...self is nothing to susan
at night whatspp susan her hangbag parcel arrived.

05/04/15
self miss susan much
wonder what susan is doing now
today is Susan's mother birthday
wonder is susan working today
honestly self miss susan deeply

04/04/15
ancestor praying day
first time in history we had on Saturday..
nothing special.....nothing seems special without susan.

03/04/15
self feel sad...loss direction
reported half day as self need to run urgent errand
need to settle share payment
hence seek half day...need to go XX to get some stuffs
what a coincident...if self not wrong from far that is susan
self avoid and left location fast...
why must susan bluff me...she is back to work instead of tomorrow
susan is dishonest to self...sad self...really sad....
keeps thinking the word susan said to self that hurts me....
so sad...nobody can help self....except to read mantra..
self start reading mantra and suddenly susan call self
susan call self twice...self didn't bother to answer...self hurt..
finally self call susan back...honest self gave up upon hearing Susan's voice
despite hurt but can forgive susan...why...
susan call self inviting self to come out for dinner and a drink
as Susan's family siblings are here and would like to see me...
what so special about self...self just a naïve useless kid...
I have no intention on anyone except susan...
since self miss, susan says never mind...still got opportunity
I do hope so...still got opportunity...
then short chat for a while and self end line as susan is having dinner..
moody day turn happy?? all because of susan....
susan that important to self ???

02/04/15
nothing special..dull life
still have feeling for susan
how to control self...
must start reading mantra I guess...
dun start relation with susan...
IS A SIN...LEAVE SUSAN ALONE...

01/04/15
nothing special..

31/03/15
self loss hope
in doubt susan will sms self upon arrival
self drunk self with work...
work and work till 7.30pm...
out of self expectation susan sms self
sms to inform she is back to KL
self reply politely...

30//03/15
self looks like is awake...
self and susan can ONLY be friend..
anything else is a SIN
not to hurt susan...

29/03/15
lunch with brother Kenneth
after lunch with un-expectation brother bring me to Buddhist centre
did a light chanting...apologies...my steps was wrong...
thousand apologies...
then brother Kenneth bring me to meet up with master
told master my situation
finally self know how and what to do
myself and susan can ONLY be friend...
FRIEND FOREVER...not else...
dun over think and react...IS A SIN

28/03/15
self run self errand
lunch appointment with brother Kenneth postpone
postpone to tomorrow..

27/03/15
susan leaving for Sandakan
upon safe arrival susan did sms self.
I been waiting and thank god susan landed safely..
THANK GOD..

26/03/15
susan on leave..

25/03/15
susan on leave

24/03/15
phone off just to avoid susan
moody and unhappy self at work
at night susan call me
the call calm down things
self cheer up again...
but the crack still recite in self

23/03/15
hurt further
who you think you are
you are not my husband
this sentence hurt me...really hurt me
sadly self rush back to bank..
find out price and inform susan with sad voice
sad voice...about to cry voice
feel uneasy...need brother Kenneth help
brother Kenneth was here to guide me..
THANKS brother...I really loss....

22/03/15
self still hurt...
will let go...have to learn to let go....
miss susan much..but I doubt susan miss self...
I cant forget susan..I really cant let go...

21/03/15
hurt continue...
lucky I have brother Kenneth and Lydia guide me thru

20/03/15
horrible day ...smack by susan
self hurt badly...self cry..
I doesn't know the sentence which I say on Thursday night which is
" I wont be able to see susan have much pressure to susan"
self feel hurt and uneasy....

19/03/15
self reported mc...slightly sick and to run errand
objective is to submit the rights issues application...
susan sms late evening
ask am I working...
self reply self on mc...back to work tomorrow
wonder why??

18/03/15
susan on leave
morning sms...ask did I keep the chocolate in fridge
then susan call me then
happy...susan call me when on leave...soft voice...
I tell susan , susan why bluff me...is a belt and purse gift...
yeah chocolate and non edible..hahahaha..

17/03/15
self stay for susan...only left self and boss...
lucky boss is around with me...self have fear to be alone
finally is 7pm...self wait downstairs for susan
self took out laptop and ready to do the needful for susan
we were happy...we were....susan bought me a present too...
unable to complete as the file to be transfer are a lot...to be continue
when about to be back susan ask me to be sitted...
massage by susan...is personnel touch...IF ONLY...
susan feel self fever...yes..self feel hot...slight fever I guess...
self feel so comfortable and happy to be with susan
while at stn self ask susan when she is leaving for Sabah
susan ask why...self..mumble...finally self speak out...
self say..i wont be able to see you ...susan smile
then lrt here and is late...I want to send susan home first but susan reject
then self board and head home smiling in heart...
once home ask susan is she home safely
susan reply husband is here to pick her up...no worries...
ok..i am glad susan is safe...god bless...

16/03/15
went over to see susan during lunch break
to confirm the white transparent bag
is confirmed is the white unit that susan like
ok self will order it for susan....buy for susan
have dunhill with me but no plan to wait for susan
too often might end up bad...hence self no intention to stay for susan

15/03/15
self feel lonely when it comes to sunday
miss susan much
wonder what is susan doing now.
time stamp now is 5.15pm

14/03/15
up early morning despite tired and weekend
stick to promise...to meet up with susan
susan bought me breakfast but too bad
we cant breakfast together today...
then self back home to run errand...
then around noon self again down to town for susan
but before to town drop by XX to get micro sd card for susan
then rush all the way to town to be with susan for lunch
since no message from susan ...self sms to ask where to meet up for lunch
ops no reply...self waited patiently...susan might be busy
time pass...finally susan call...susan is waiting for me..
self quickly run to destination to meet up with susan for lunch
we have weekend lunch together....smile from my heart..
while lunch self help susan to free some space on her handphone
done via laptop which I care down to help susan
only for susan self willing to sacrifice...and do all the needful...
ONLY SUSAN..

13/03/15
eager for lunch break...
coz want to show susan I am wearing the fila shirt susan bought for self
also to inform susan self is free today can assist susan
then we agree upon to have lunch together at mcd..
while having lunch we chat and did some surfing
oh...susan is looking for some transparent bag...
want to buy to carry for work..
ok...self will help susan...we surf around for info...
then self told susan self have bought Susan's mum cigarette...
self will wait to be back with susan at 7pm
as today is Friday self is release early...rush home..
must do exercise first...self been consuming a lot lately..
then rush back to XX to be back with susan...
waited for a while and here come susan..
susan bought me cereal and gave a unique xx mug...THANKS...
my train is here but self let it go...self want to be with susan
susan train is here next...but the train door open and close too fast...
susan miss it...unable to enter...self rush to help
self ask susan did he door hurt you...susan are you ok...
susan reply she is alright....lucky susan is unhurt...
then we waited for the next train ...ahem...
while waiting susan ask me how am I feeling today...
self reply recovering but headache...
then susan come to me and massage my head...
we have much physical contact.. just like husband and wife
what a soft pair of hand on self...
IF ONLY MOMENT stays...
finally susan train is here...self walk susan to train...
susan get sitted and we wave goodbye...
THANK GOD MOST for the day...smile in sleep...
susan are you willing to be with me...

12/03/15
self tired and since xx not around self intended to go on leave
but due to the workload self have to go in for morning session..
lucky self come in morning session...lots of things to be settle..
worth coming. not wasted...then suddenly surprise sms from susan
invite me for lunch today...ops....
self call back susan politely...cant lunch together today..
what about tomorrow which we both agree upon...
then lunch time self went over a while to see susan
inform self today will be out the second half of the day..
meanwhile to gave susan an umbrella...as susan has loss hers..
is a micosoft umbrella that I am giving...hard to get item..
but for susan is OKAY...

11/03/15
susan on leave...
but susan do have a heart for self..
sms to ask how am I today...
rest early and guide me how to heel myself...
THANKS susan...self will listen to susan..
susan sms is the encouragement for the day...
self work hard and stay till 7plus to extract data and do slides

10/03/15
we have breakfast together...cheerful and beautiful susan
some colleagues saw but no harm or shy...
susan is blood and nerves to me...susan is important to self..
we enjoy our breakfast...we really do enjoy...
susan gave me some of her food too...self eat without choosy..
only for susan self is not choosy...if others I really mind...
no lunch during lunch break...
sifu invite for lunch....
wow what a stomach fulling day....
eat and eat..OMG!!!!

09/03/15
extremely eager for lunch....
self and susan have not see each other for a week..
honest I miss susan much...I miss susan much...
early morning sms from susan...asking do I need breakfast today or wait for tomorrow
self reply...tomorrow.. coz as usual Monday self need to be smart...
lunch break went to see susan
told susan self have some souvenir for susan from Indonesia..
can I be back with you tonight at 7pm to pass you the goodies...
susan acknowledge and smile...
then susan ask how am I .....
self told susan self feel sick and heaty..
susan guided self what to eat  advice self to rest...
at 7pm self back with susan objective to pass Indonesia goodies to susan...
I hope susan like it...from susan look I think susan like it...
susan whatspp that she like the Indonesia goodies much...
self smile ...smile in sleep...susan I really miss you much...

08/03/15
early sms from susan
susan ask have I landed safely
self reply susan politely...self landed safely..
THANK YOU for your concern...
susan inform today she is on leave...
we shall meet up tomorrow...
self smile and reply noted...
susan I miss you much...I am home...

07/03/15
self last day at Indonesia...
self feel sick and heaty...
eager to be home..as self miss susan much
around 10pm plus self whatspp susan self coming today
now at airport....susan did reply...and whatspp back...
we communicate for a while....roughly 30 minutes
if the short moment stays...I miss susan much...

06/03/15
at Indonesia...visited some scenery places..
later in the evening drama..stupid wait for 3 hours...
drama with kkf and was blame to me...
so unfair...notice 9uncle is bias too...who cares...
all I know is I miss susan much...

05/03/15
at Indonesia...bought some goodies for susan
miss susan much...I keep listening to susan voice in whatspp
cant deny...I XXX susan despite far away...

04/03/15
on leave to run errand and pack to take off to Indonesia
sms susan to inform self leaving...
later at night upon landed at Indonesia saw susan voice message in whatspp
self so happy susan is concern about self...
susan lovely and sweet voice cheer me up...
susan I have landed safely...
dun worry...will be good...will listen to your advice...
I will miss you....susan you will be in my heart....

03/03/15
breakfast date with susan
our last breakfast dating before both of us being separated for a week
in heart I will miss susan much...
self sms would you like to have prawn crackers...
self reply ok...told susan I wanted to be home early...
can I go back with you at 7pm
susan reply ok...THANKS susan
self waited till 7pm to be back with susan..
my last day to be with susan before we breakoff for a week..
bye susan...I miss you....

02/03/15
self stay til 7pm been objective is susan...
self waited and waited but no sign of susan
heads down...sad self walk till the end...
finally feel someone pull my bag...
is susan...suddenly self feel so happy...susan is still around
we chat for a short while....
thank god I can meet up with susan...

sun 01/03/15
cannot recall...
2 week backdated events..
but one thing is definite...
I miss susan much..

sat 28/02/15
back to office a while to complete omega case study printing
then went to shop around...
self feel hungry and weak then
choose to head home..left the remaining errand tomorrow..
miss susan much...

fri 27/02/15
self wore the fila shirt to show susan
self look smart ....of course....
cny present from susan...
susan bought me some cny cookies too..

thur 26/02/15
susan pack me some cny fruits..
bought me breakfast too....self happy
very happy...in fact....
then lunch date with susan
susan bought me a fila shirt...
THANKS susan...I like it....but I like you the most...
today EXTRA HAPPY with susan
I guess susan is HAPPY too...
coincident tonight is tian gong praying...
some nice fruits on sale at xx...
then self bought some for susan and family to eat
self bought a box too for tonight tian gong prayers at brother Kenneth's house
should self go....finally self went..
pray till 2am +++ may god bless brother Kenneth, susan and self...

wed 25/02/15
susan on leave
self alone...sigh...
as promise self send news to relatives and friends in spore
any vacancies at breadtalk and etc...please notify me...pls..
for susan self will ask around...beg ppl to help me..
ONLY for susan...others for sure self wont entertain...

tues 24/02/15
susan bought me breakfast...
we have enjoyable moments at the canteen...
then self back to work...
with susan presence self was energetic at work..
promise to help susan children who plan to look for work in spore..

mon 23/02/15
self back to work
coincident is brother Kenneth business reopen too..
brother Kenneth apologies...self didn't turn up
reason being self was not invited...
eager for lunch...as self got some goodies specially for susan
upon entry saw susan down the aisle
self happy...walk down the aisle...
I saw susan and susan saw me....
we greet each other gong xi fa cai
self pass angpow and goodies to susan
as usual susan rejected it...self feel sad..
after some persuasion finally susan accept my cny goodies
then susan invite self to join her for lunch...
yes...self agree...happy and enjoyable moments
susan show me her cny photos...susan so beautiful...

sun 22/02/15
get ready back to work
miss susan much..

sat 21/02/15
cny day 3
drama at home
horrible drama..sigh!!!

fri 20/02/15
cny day 2
go visiting

thu 19/02/15
cny day 1....gong xi fa cai..
when to temple to do blessing
drizzling but to go as today is a special day
then home to rest
then morning to tian hou temple
enjoy moments there with family
then heading home...nothing special
boring day...then...

wed 18/02/15
cny eve
my happiest day in life..i love cny eve most in my life
run errand...then sms susan self leaving for xx for cny
susan did reply self and ask to send regards
self smile....susan message is the motivation
happy when recall happy moment with susan
nothing special....good meal and stay up late
count down cny eve...

tue 17/02/15
my last day of work before cny and so do susan
is a good and memorable day
last breakfast with susan before we off for cny
ahem...breakfast together...
susan so beautiful...
due to self request for half day self didn't turn up again
to avoid unnecessary gossip
hence miss last opportunity to be back with susan before we break off for cny

mon 16/02/15
different Monday as self not in best outfit
hence avoid going to see susan
however at night received susan sms
will buy me breakfast tomorrow
self smile from the bottom of my heart
sleepness night...thinking of susan

sun 15/02/15
self busy running pre cny errand
have to stock up some stuff for coming cny
miss susan much...

sat 14/02/15
firstly happy valentine days to susan
if only .....but is just a dream...
introduce wu jun to susan...my youngest brother..
acutally the whole objective is susan..
susan looks better today...recovering...
evening visited wahab...well is being some time since self last visited wahab
pass wahab some goodies in conjunction with coming cny
saw mkbm...do self still have feeling for mkbm ???

fri 13/02/15
self run errand for susan as susan not well
omg...is a tedious one...
running back and forth...
looks like no appreciation and tired is what self gets..
susan sick...not recover yet....self worry about susan..
sigh!!!

thur 12/02/15
susan took an extra day off due to not well
self miss and worry about susan
strange!!! susan did inform self she is taken off today
is being sometime since the incident susan didn't inform self when she is off
at night susan call self...ask if can run errand for her
self acknowledge and agree to assist
only susan if someone else self will definitely reject

wed 11/02/15
susan on leave
self busy with slides

tue 10/02/15
home with susan
lucky susan back slightly early @ 6.30pm
else self alone in fear while waiting for susan
pass susan her mng bag
susan inform she is not well
yeah...notice susan look sick..
tell susan to rest early
susan did reply and ack my advice

mon 09/02/15
xerox dbs atm upgrade for susan
but information given to susan was not appreciated.
self like grass to susan
home went to inform susan...got gst test
have to go off already

sun 08/02/15
continue yesterday errand
again another trip to 9uncle house to resolve outstanding issues
none solved...ergh..turn moody...self no patient
miss susan much..
look thru Susan's cny lamb photo...susan so beautiful...

sat 07/02/15
assist 9uncle with his banking and etc...
turn moody...apologies 9uncle...
self a hot temper person...no patient
but self wont leave you alone..will help

fri 06/02/15
susan ask to join her for breakfast
self of course acknowledge
the day self being waiting for...
susan bought self breakfast....
we have a happy start of the day
then run errand for susan...cny new notes exchg
self inform all settle...self will wait for susan at 7pm
saw susan coming carrying a huge comforter..
self quickly run close to susan to help susan carry it...
assist susan to carry it till station..
then gave susan the new notes exhg..
susan thanks me...our friendship signal...self happy
I guess so do susan...can see from Susan's smile...
self extremely happy for the 2 consecutive days...if only time stay.....

thur 05/02/15
finally after 4 days of separation self able to meet up with susan
told susan self will buy 3 boxes of this cny version to be send home tomorrow
susan says she will buy for me but I decline coz is costly for susan
told susan self have bought some gifts for her while self was in s'pore
susan as usual didn't want to accept it...
self insist will wait till 7pm to be back with susan...to pass her the goodies
finally susan accepted my wait for her at 7pm
late evening received susan call but self miss it
hence susan sms self...ask to come over to take the 3 boxes
susan have bought it for self...self acknowledge it and THANKS
then self waited till 7pm to be back with susan
is 7pm...saw susan coming....cross over and get sitted at pathway
susan is tired...rest and at the same time look thru my gifts..
susan saw the toy lamb...so cute susan mentioned
susan applause the rest of the gifts too...
at night susan whatspp me a photo of her with the soft lamb toy
SUSAN SO BEAUTIFUL....self melt in Susan's hand...
if ONLY...self smile is sleep....


wed 04/02/15
as self is tired self took another off
also make use of this day to run cny errand
visited brother Kenneth in conjunction with coming cny
then home to rest and ready for work tomorrow
miss susan much...susan off today..

tue 03/02/15
woke up extremely early around 3am+++
need to catch the earliest bus back to jb
then to drive back to kl
is a good trip overall...

mon 02/02/15
ready to go over to spore to run errand..
while running errand mind only on susan
is susan working as is public holiday today
dun know why ....it could be by mistake self have press Susan's no
susan sms self...why what happened...
then follow up by call from susan
but due to distance the line is breaking up
finally self call back...self have a short chat with susan
so happy to hear Susan's voice...
still dun know how by accident or is faith self have press susan no

sun 01/02/15
early morning whatspp to susan ...
inform self leaving to xxx for work
take care and see you...
then self with kkf and 9uncle and neighbour drive down to xx
THANK GOD for the bless trip
enjoy self in XXX
pity to see 9uncle so tired and weak.
the encouragement for the day is susan whatspp and sms..

sat 31/01/15
again self turn up to xxx
objective is susan
tell susan self will be away from 01/02/15 to 03/02/15
self is here today to inform self will be leaving tomorrow
I have a miss feeling for susan but doubt susan has for self
then home to run errand...
car inspection...tomorrow self will be travelling...
thanks to the young chap who help me to inspect all needed
free service too... THANKS ....in appreciation...
may GOD bless you..
towards evening self NOT feeling well
ops how...self the key person...
self not well news makes 9uncle panic...
worst still neighbour is joining us...
so can't fail anyone...rest and go tomorrow...

fri 30/01/15
finally the day self waiting for is here
members day ....only twice in a year
self scroll thru but nothing much to buy..
most important to self is susan
hence to support susan self bought 4 packets
susan smile melts me..
so no chance of staying back for susan
susan says she will be late tonight...leaving at 8pm

thur 29/01/15
self on leave to run errand
but what a coincident....steven sick
so send steven to clinic first then run errand
have to settle share and car payment
apply internet line as well..
at night whatspp susan to inform another parcel has come
susan mentioned she will be busy for two days
to pass the courier parcel to her on 01/02/15 instead

wed 28/01/15
susan on leave
miss susan much in heart

tues 27/01/15
susan mentioned her daughter wants to know me
can snap a few photos of self to give to daughter
well self never reject susan request...
2 photos was snap...self feel shy already...
received whatspp from susan at night
is the photo taken...looks ok...

mon 26/01/15
told susan self have a buy 1 fee 1 voucher
can I invite you to have lunch with me
at first susan deny...susan say invite your colleague
as usual no hope....then susan agree to have lunch with self
self wait till 2pm and we enjoy...
susan have some snacks..susan open it...'
we share the pack of snack...ahmm...smile...
then bring susan to canteen area to see xxx promotion
then we depart from there...susan go back to xxx to rest...

sun 25/01/15
as promise self have to meet up with susan
must be something susan bought for self during her happy trip
self collect gift and smile THANKS
susan says bye...will meet tomorrow...
this sentence sounds familiar when I first know susan...
smile in heart....the day I fall for susan...

sat 24/01/15
recived surprise sms from susan
susan ask to drop by a while if free
self reply...with apologies...self home
to collect tomorrow..

fri 23/01/15
since no susan around
self willing to stay for lunch
then opt to go back early...
in heart miss susan much....

thur 22/01/15
self on leave....actually main agenda is to attend seminar
but since self not well...run errand instead...
collected back brother Kenneth's Tissot watch
and also to terminate streamyx line
then home to rest...
miss susan much

wed 21/01/15
no susan...susan must be enjoying..
self the naïve kid waiting here...sigh!!!

tue 20/01/15
surprise sms from susan
susan sms to inform she is heading to xxx now
will buy back some goodies for me..
self reply noted and smile..
meanwhile received sad call from brother Kenneth
brother Kenneth's mom admitted...
gosh...self immediately took half day leave
rush to hospital....as courtesy to visit brother Kenneth's mom
maybe self is weak...self feel uneasy...
symptom self might drop sick...

mon 19/01/15
saw susan to work from my level
lunch break went over to inform susan self will rush home
rush home to collect the courier parcel for susan
susan mentioned no rush...no need to rush home
but self insist cause susan will be away for few days.
self will definitely miss susan much
susan told me she will be leaving slightly early today
husband is here to pick her up...
no need to wait till 7pm to pass her the courier parcel
self feel so sad...
I dun even have the last chance to be with susan before her long break..
told susan self will rush home to collect courier parcel
coz I wont be seeing susan ...
guess what....some doubtful sms from susan
till now I dun know the meaning.....self blur

sun 18/01/15
susan sms to inform she didn't buy self breakfast
well is ok susan
is not the breakfast I am hoping
is susan yourself that I would like to meet up with

sat 17/01/15
susan whatspp self at night
mentioned she will buy self breakfast
self didn't reply as self was too tired and hand injuriy
hence sms to inform the next day..
self mentioned  needn't buy self breakfast
self to see doctor ...hand injury...
actually is heart injury plus hand too....

fri 16/01/15
self busy with kpi...non stop since morning...
willing to wait till 7pm
is 2 hours wait for susan
sharp 7pm self left and waited for susan
finally susan is here...
next self pass the courier parcel and cny goodies to susan
susan accepted the courier parcel..
happy look on the parcel...is the mini yellow mango touch bag I bought for susan
next susan rejected all the cny goodies bought specially for susan
self beg susan to accept and guess what ...
susan told me she will give it away...
oh gosh...do you know is a special cny gift from me...
is expensive stuffs bought specially for susan ONLY..
SIGH!!! but susan NEVER appreciate it..
self heart crack upon hearing it....SADNESS..
susan knows I am sad....couple of sms send
but she doesn't know she hurt me,,,my sadness comes from her...

thur 15/01/15
short chat...told susan second parcel is here
but unable to be home to take it
tonight self got bank entertainment
susan have a new short hari cut
wow..susan look even prettier...
if ONLY susan ......susan so pretty..
looks like susan is prepare for her family trip..

wed 14/01/15
susan offday
self half day too to run errand
pay insurance long overdue bills,
next to service brother's Kenneth tissot
and finally to jday ...need to get some cny goodies for susan
still uncertain whether to buy or not...
coz susan might not accept it...

tue 13/01/15
susan courier parcel is here
self must get hold of the parcel and deliver to susan
self steal some working time
rush home to take courier parcel
then went over to see susan to tell susan I have got the parcel with me
shall we meet at normal place for meet up
susan smile...susan smile melts my heart
susan told me tonight her family doesn't cook
lets go for claypot rice at XXX
self ack...happy...smile from heart....
we board the same train and alight to go for our dinner
if only time stand still....susan so beautiful...
after dinner susan bring me to walk around XXX
if ONLY we walk holding hands....knowing this day wont come true....
self was with susan till 8.30pm..self enjoy every moment with susan
sleepness night...too happy ....THANK GOD....

mon 12/01/15
eager for lunch
self miss susan much
lunch time is here...self went over
scroll and scroll but no sign of susan
where is susan...what happened...
sudden sadness...then notice that warehouse is still on today
today last day...oh..then susan might still at warehouse I guess..
sad self....heads down...miss feeling...feel uneasy...

sun 11/01/15
no susan self run self errand
no wahab as well
to avoid if can coz xxx doesn't like self with wahab..
self miss susan much...

sat 10/01/15
susan told me the calendar that I gave her got no Chinese calendar
then self noted ..ok...I will get you one with Chinese calendar
self drive all the way to xxx to exchange a unit with xxx
self dun mind at all...ONLY for susan...self run this errand
if the rest self wont entertain at all..
worth the sacrifice...susan like the calendar much
can see susan feel happy with the calendar
also told susan I have order the coach wristlet for her
should arrive next week...ONLY SUSAN..

fri 09/01/15
get a friend of mine to help translate susan whatspp message
self reply susan there is a discount...huge discount
I use my credit card points to redeem
only pay a small amount
at first susan says no need to waste my points...she dun want
but later receive Susan's call...
susan ask me in details....is it  that cheap
self reply yes...I use my points to redeem..
then self say lets meet up during lunch and we discuss
susan ack our meet up....self smile...
we have lunch and discuss in details....
susan like the green unit....ok self noted..
self will get one for susan...
my special gift to susan....hope susan like it...
I really dun mind.....ONLY for susan....ONLY SUSAN...
susan told me she will be away on 20/01 to 23/01
family trip to Melaka for holiday in conjunction of coming cny...
the place looks grand....happy holiday susan...
if only .....but know that day wont exist.....is just self dream...

thur 08/01/15
surprise...early sms from susan
susan says her boss will be coming today
hence please dun come over..inconvenient..
ok self noted...self miss susan much..
at night self whatsapp susan on coach wristlet
susan ask self few questions
self stop unable to answer...no translator

wed 07/01/15
susan on leave
self went over to hangbag shop to survey wallet for susan
certain models are nice...
self really want to get one for susan ...
I dun mind buying but afraid susan wont accept...

tue 06/01/15
surprise...morning sms from susan
susan inform self she is having breakfast at cafeteria
self quickly wrap up work and dash down to cafeteria
we meet up and have breakfast together..
the best and memorable one is we share milo drink...ahmmm..
no meet up during lunch....drizzling...

mon 05/01/15
susan angry with mismatch salary payment
self feel sad for susan
saw susan having discussion with her immediate superior
self waited and then left...heads down...disturb chat with susan
while self at bakery shop queuing up self saw susan
then notice susan and her immediate boss having discussion..
around 2:30pm ops 2 miss call from susan
self worry what happened...hence self call back
susan ask me to join her for late lunch
of course self will come...self quickly dash over
self and susan have lunch together..
simple yet enjoyable..if only time stays..

sun 04/01/15
no susan...morning self errand
later part of the day when to meet up with wahab
can or notice  that xxx dislike wahab good to self..
well self and wahab is just normal friend..

sat 03/01/15
keep to promise..agenda for the day is susan
to go back to office to complete pending task too
upon completion of work self went over for susan
guess what susan have bought me a soft shark plush toy
susan told me upon stock arrival susan have bought it for self
susan says for sure self will like the shark plush toy
susan says come...got 3 pattern...well my thought is the same as susan
the one susan choose for self is the one self like too...same thought
thank you susan...appreciate it...you have self in your mind...
then run errand...help an old lady got get transport back to her hometown
hope old lady is bless and home to hometown safely.

fri 02/01/15
eager for lunch break
to chat with susan
self did wish susan happy new year
susan look so beautiful..
as usual on Friday everyone dash off at 4:45pm so do self....
but to self surprise susan did sms self asking to go back at 7pm
susan have a gift for self...
ops...self miss susan sms ....
only notice susan sms after self have shower and about to do jumping exercise
feel so sad that I cant make it as self have shower and limited time
hence self quickly call but no signal...finally sms to inform..
but afraid susan might wait so self keep calling...finally get thru
told susan self cant make it...
but self will come tomorrow...I will...

thur 01/01/15
happy new year
self was back to office to wrap up pending task..
surprise receive early sms from susan..
susan sms is the sparkling stars for the day
sort of encouragement for self to work during new year..
susan on leave today as well...susan did told me..
susan happy new year...

wed 31/12/14
susan on leave ...susan did told me
self on half day...nothing much to do....quiet day at work
also tomorrow self will be back to work too..
happiest ending for 2014....susan and self chat till 11pm..
self happy so do susan I guess...
too happy...self smile in sleep..THANK GOD.

tue 30/12/14
morning urgent task...to withdraw RM10K to assist brother Kenneth
can see brother Kenneth in trouble...red eyes...
about to burst but strong...
next eager for lunch...today lunch date with susan
finally lunch time is here...self waited at regular place
we have lunch and did website browsing
both of us happy...if ONLY...
susan so beautiful...

mon 29/12/14
ops...heavy rain...how now??
I have some important print out for susan
some hangbags printed in color for susan to analyse
finally self dash over around 3.50pm despite drizzling..
late but no choice...have to see susan...
looks like susan is waiting for self too..
coz when self on phone back saw susan message self
susan ask self have I eaten??
self pass printout to susan ask susan to go thru it...
susan invite self for lunch tomorrow to discuss further
self smile and ack...thanks..
brother Kenneth call...need cash...sounds blur
brother what happened??

missing fri 26/12 to sun 28/12

thur 25/12/14
is Christmas day today
I guess susan is on leave
but self is working
self need to go back to office to complete delinquent computation
can do it clearly without disturbances...
did office spring cleaning too..
deep in heart MISS SUSAN MUCH....is being 4 days without susan

wed 24/12/14
susan on leave and so am I...
initially plan to go for Christmas shopping and photo snapping
but plan doesn't materialise
hence stay at home doing nothing
time just wasted idling around

tue23/12/14
long life rain
hence short run over and back to workstn
missing someone...who else ....of course is susan..
ops surprising news...boss wants to move my siting place..
self have fear ....why ...for better or worse...??

mon 22/12/14
to go to work or not
if go unable to get half day then self loss out
hence decided to take full day
instead of remain useless at home self went to renew passport
long queue...waited for 4 hours to complete the process
donzhi celebration falls on today too..
wonder is susan working or not...
wish susan happy donzhi in heart...

sun 21/12/14
have lunch reunion with 9uncle in conjunction with dong zhi
no choice self have to turn in to get some bread for wahab
come across susan...susan so beautiful...
told susan self have to rush home to complete painting...
susan smile...
at noon meet up with wahab
then wahab send self back...
got to know more about kamari too...

sat 20/12/14
self run self errand
go shop around

fri 19/12/14
self went over to pass susan the calendar
susan told me she doesn't want this and that...
ops...self hurt...no appreciation but complain
hurt coz calendar not easy to get...
I being bagging here and there...
all the hard effort for susan go to trash...self hurt.....

thu 18/12/14
self went over to get some snack
told susan self being send away today and tomorrow
told susan tomorrow will pass calendar to her
away on the second half of the day
lucky not far...else I wont go...
if I go far I wont be able to see susan..my worry...
second half of the day self run errand for brother Kenneth..

wed 17/12/14
susan on leave
nothing special...
do work then go home..

tue 16/12/14
self on leave ...go visit brother Kenneth
objective is to visit brother Kenneth and to collect calendar for susan
yes..i am true....Lydia dun like self...have fear that I will XXXX
come on....myself and brother Kenneth is brother and sis
just like siblings...
I already have someone I like and want to be with ...is susan ONLY..
just what while driving to brother place received sms notification
notify me that there is a mms send by susan to self...
self open mms....meaningful....self acknowledge it...

mon 15/12/14
during lunch break self went over to meet up with susan
thanks susan for her breakfast
yummi swimming chee cheong fun
after work when to look for susan too..
after long wait no sign of susan hence left...

sun 14/12/14
self back to office to complete long pending delinquent
yet another 2 months to complete
suddenly heard phone rang...is susan...
susan call me...asking where am I..
susan wanted to buy me breakfast..
I smile from the bottom of my heart...susan remember self..
self acknowledge and waited for susan arrival..
THANKS SUSAN...APPRECIATE IT...
susan so beautiful...
the whole day self drown with self photo taken with susan..

sat 13/12/14
lunch date with susan
susan shows me all her family members..
guess what...susan is married..2 daughter and 1 son
today self have EXTRA soft touch with susan
also today self expose self identity...self birthday
self look like a kid but self is aging...
have a personal photo snap with susan ONLY
by right self should be happy with susan but self not ....WHY???
I know WHY??? not happy seeing all those Susan's family photos..
come on caribee...you should know from the beginning...
susan is married...
sleepness night...WHY...susan is married...

fri 12/12/14
no susan please..self not prepared..
promised to meet up on sat
so no too often meet up...
miss susan much in heart...

thur 11/12/14
susan on leave too...self was informed..
lonely self..attended omega morning session only
physical body is in omega training but mind on susan
wonder why susan on leave???

wed 10/12/14
susan on leave
lucky self got lots of work
to keep self occupied..
else self will be lonely without susan

tue 09/12/14
went over to confirm brim info...
susan says self look smart today
yeah...smart...on new fila shirt...
have bought one for susan as well..
hope susan will accept it...

mon 08/12/14
lunch date with susan
to settle brim submission
get to know more about Susan's family
susan so beautiful...if only....

sun 07/12/14
today the main agenda is susan
self drove down and self is early
shop yet to open...waited patiently..
once open self to Susan's work level..
ops no sign of susan..
so how now??? so turn back or how??
so self went down a few floors and scroll around...
finally went up again...and finally saw susan
bought few packets and susan have to rush down..
self wait for susan to come back and have a short chat
then left and to 9 uncle house...
evening have tea break with wahab...
pity to see wahab suffer...wonder how self can help.
wahab send me home...in appreciation..

sat 06/12/14
self back to office to do delinquent compilation
nothing special....need to complete work else being blasted...
no susan pls...self dress down and not properly maintain
told susan self a teksi driver for the day today...
susan acknowledge my message
susan sign on for the day and the person is self...
looks like susan have a heart for self...
ask self to come and buy when free...
of course...I will...will help susan...

fri 05/12/14
self avoid susan
susan still at warehouse promotion
no point going...too frequent
self shop around...found something l like...
bought it after work..
in heart self miss susan much...

thur 04/12/14
ops...whats happened ....
susan last sign on at 2.40am
what happened....must be...
self at warehouse hope to help susan
help buy some choc...but long queue
susan ask self to come sat or sun instead
self ack...self saw susan looks sleepy...
must be xxx at midnight....sad self...

wed 03/12/14
self birthday...
as usual no greetings....
except from 9uncle & tun only
no greetings from susan too on exact date
but susan did wish me the previous date....
susan on leave so am I
avoid work...shop around & self maintenance

tue 02/12/14
birthday lunch date with susan
if only time stay
susan so beautiful....
so kind of susan bought me birthday present and birthday cake too.
really appreciate it..
self very happy with Susan's presence...the best present...

mon 01/12/14
bring over medal for susan..
susan says she don't want...keep it to myself...

sun 30/11/14
self uncertain whether to attend the marathon or not...
to be honest all this years self have not run for marathon before...
ok...for susan...self decide to go....
expose self too...go see and experience it....
self was surprise self can finish running 5km...is history
self got medal and cert too...
instead of going home self drive all the way to Susan's workplace...
scroll and scroll but no sign of susan...
where is susan...self waited...to call or not to call...
finally self call susan and susan told me she is in late today..
sad self..unable to show susan my medal and cert..
actually medal and cert...should go to susan..
without susan support self wont make it..
susan is the one...the chosen one...

sat 29/11/14
self back to office...objective is susan
self went back to show susan the nike pouch she bought me...
ops...susan not around...but appear soon...
susan smile upon seeing self...
self show susan the nike pouch...
self told susan it suits me very well....very nice..
thank you susan...the present is something I like and suits me..
self open the pouch and let susan see it...
ops accidentally self have soft touch on Susan's hand...
if only I can have a permanent touch on Susan's hand...
please behave...keep to promise please...dun hurt susan..
we have short chat and smile....if only time stay....
while with susan self is happy...self didn't forgot wahab
recently wahab have some working problem..
self understand the pain wahab facing...
GOD please help wahab...please....

fri 28/11/14
self have to complete exam on behalf for 2 bosses.
tight schedule but self cant miss susan
hence adjust timing by going ahead with copy...no choice
meet up with susan...
coincident Duracell bunny is here...
susan help me snap photo with Duracell bunny...
lindt lady is around also today...but of course susan is the chosen one...
susan told me softly that her product 24pieces will be on offer soon only @ $11++
wow that is cheap...I will buy...will support susan....susan smile...
later towards evening susan sms and call me...
self didn't notice hence turn miss call
read thru sms..slightly understand...
susan have something for self and wait for 7pm for susan
self return call....and agree to wait for susan finish work @ 7pm
since there is a 2 hour gap self return home coz office empty
empty coz is a Friday...self afraid...go home and return again
ONLY for susan self willing to do this...sacrifice...
finally is 7pm..self wait at subway for susan...
susan is here finally...self walk towards susan...
susan pass my a parcel...is my birthday present...
susan wish me "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"
susan says during lunch she come across this product...nice..
nice...hence she bought it for me...
self like the present much...is a nike pouch...
THANKS SUSAN...APPRECIATE IT..
as my train is here susan tell me to go first...need not wait..
self listen to susan..ok..self go ahead first...
self look out and waive bye to susan...susan smile...
sleepness night...susan on my mind...susan so beautiful...

thur 27/11/14
self wanted to be on leave but opss.
got risk training and is compulsory
hence no choice have to go...cancel leave..
self plan to stay...no lunch...
self need to be home early for maintenance..
coz deep in heart self miss susan much...
finally self can be home an hour earlier to do a quick maintenance...
tears in heart...self miss susan much...

wed 26/11/14
self miss susan much
sad self...tears from the heart...
just don't know why...I really miss susan much...


sat 22/11/14 to tue 25/11/14


fri 21/11/14
self uncertain...should go to work late or not
late due to self maintenance or go in as per normal
stuck ..how...normal or late
if late then is for susan
if normal then no susan
due to the meeting was early morning hence self got no choice
no choice but to let go seeing susan at break
self cant go..self didn't do maintenance...bad look..
sad self...miss susan much deep in heart...
uncle hon meng was in kl...
meet up and have dinner...smile...

thur 20/11/14
unable to take leave due to work load
hence no self maintenance done...
so have to avoid susan
but deep in heart self miss susan much..

wed 19/11/14
susan on leave
work as normal

tue 18/11/14
self extremely worry about susan
why signon only at 12.30pm...
no sign on at susan lunch break time
also no sign while susan on train while on the way home
self starts to worry about susan safety
is susan stock counting in progress or what..
self pray to god to bless susan..pls..
THANK GOD...

mon 17/11/14
self at omega training
short time for break
unable to go see susan
susan also did inform to self to come Thursday 20/11/14 instead
as Monday onwards susan will be busy with her stock count
self worry susan safety...stock count means be home late..
hence self sms susan advise her to be careful at night...
susan reply back mentioning she has completed her stock count
need not stay back....this is a good news to self....susan is safe...
self told susan self be away for 4 days training ..only back Fri (21/11/14)
susan reply noted.

sun 16/11/14
self do self errand...
but deep in heart miss susan much...

sat 15/11/14
surprise to know susan whatspp self at night
ask to help print out pay slip
of course I will help...only for susan
hence self went down to XX to meet up with susan and deliver the printout
ops self is late ...on the dot at 2pm..
self miss susan....susan off for lunch...
no choice but to turn back to office to do some reading
then wrap up around 2.45pm...dark sky...
have to go over and wait else caught in the rain...
self went in a couple of times and scroll thru
but no sign of susan...not back from lunch ...
self patiently waited outside but heavy rain
finally self went in again and saw susan around
susan with another gentlemen....Susan's ???
self dare not disturb hence pass print out pay slip and go...
self stay at bis section awhile but notice the gentlemen still with susan
finally self be brave and went up to talk to susan
susan told me that gentlemen is his boss..
self noted with relief....
then susan ask am I a xx member
self reply yes...susan says for member is cheap now...want to buy
self reply is ok...I can buy...gave me three...so that I can enter the lucky draw
susan smile and signal (my loyal signal) on my shoulder...is on my shoulder
ahmmm.....soft touch by susan...
susan smile melts me and she so beautiful....
susan thank me and self smile and left....
self smile is sleep and THANK GOD...


fri 14/11/14
since no self maintenance done...
self cant go near susan
self have to avoid...sad self...
self really miss susan much...

thur 13/11/14
unable to go on leave due to work load
hence no susan pls as self not properly maintained

wed 12/11/14
susan on leave
self heads down..
do work and go home

tue 11/11/14
self behave
no susan today..
too frequent

mon 10/11/14
lunch break self went over..
self told susan so the bald boy now..
susan says not really...
well ...self reply maybe soon...
self the baldy boy...

sun 09/11/14
self have agenda..
to collect breakfast from susan...
self monitor trains and finally susan is here
saw susan peeping around to look for self
self quickly grab phone and run down
self wont let susan wait...
finally self is down and both susan and self smile
susan pass me breakfast...self THANKS susan..
when home self went over once more to see susan
have short chat....susan ack self as lucky boy...HAHAHA

sat 08/11/14
self back to office being objective is susan
self  need to print out the payslip and pass it to susan
susan ack and THANKS me...
susan is so beautiful...self melt...if ONLY self...
evening tag along with may to support wahab
wow is suffering for wahab ..
I know the pain wahab encounter at the moment as self experience it..
is extra long and tiring journey for wahab
is late...wahab send me home...THANKS WAHAB..
self must find ways to help wahab back to u45..
surprise...at night susan sms self that she will buy me breakfast tomorrow..
self smile from the bottom of my heart...is being months self didn't enjoy this..
smile in sleep too i guess...

fri 07/11/14
self plan to go on half day
to go off during lunch break
of course i must go and see susan i goes off
self step in....saw susan...
told susan self have to go for training
self leaving now...susan look at me
then ask for how long...
self answer is just today
susan also ask how is my injured finger..
self show the injured finger to susan
is getting better...yeah of course...
i listen to my friend advise...rub with zambuk
we both smile...
yes..is a good one after days of self suffer..
at night notice susan frequent sign as early as 8pm..why..
self sign on too...and found that susan is communicating with self..
susan ask for help...
of course self will help susan..
is susan payslip...got discrepancies ..ok..self promise to help susan..
ONLY SUSAN..

thur 06/11/14
self tag siti along...
actually objective is susan
from far self saw susan
but didn't scroll down further
hence uncomfortable thru out the day
susan I really misses you much..

wed 05/11/14
self whatspp susan yesterday night asking how her hand bruises
has susan fully recovered..
to my sadness susan NEVER reply me...
normal...no reply...who am I...
self the naïve one..SIGH!!!

tue 04/11/14
as self miss susan on Monday..
self pop in again on Tuesday...
scroll and scroll ...again no sign of susan
self have fear and self feel tired...
hence scroll around upstairs and return back...
when about to turn to escalator saw susan at redemption counter
self look pale hence choose to avoid
but deep in heart miss susan much

mon 03/11/14
self went over during lunch break..
scroll and scroll but no sign of susan..
hence heads down and back to work..
SIGH!!!!

sun 02/11/14
self feel so loss...
I miss susan much...is being a week...
hence finally go down to XX just for susan
went up to level 7 but susan not there...
understand from colleague susan is downstairs..
hence self goes down ....yes...susan is here...
susan is so beautiful...short chat....then went off...
deep in heart self miss susan much....

sat 01/11/14
self on errand...
deep in heart self miss susan much...

fri 31/10/14
self accompany xx to seek justice for wahab
meeting with those top mgmt. doesn't look good...
looks like a sad day for wahab and us...
wonder how to help wahab...
request is simple...wahab to come back to u45.. but yet so complicated....
as self in bad shape self avoid going to see susan
deep in heart honest statement...self miss susan much...

thur 30/10/14
warehouse sale is on...
self went over and brief scroll thru..
peep from far...no sign of susan..
or too many people and self miss it....
self miss susan much....

wed 29/10/14
susan on leave..
self routine work as usual..

tue 28/10/14
susan sms self...
self need further info hence lunch break went over..
ops no sign of susan...
self left with head down...

mon 27/10/14
self eager for lunch but slightly scare
afraid susan might reject my gift or she has one already...
hence when lunch break self went over
self ask susan if she come across a device call power bank
susan answer she is aware of this device...
then good....self have bought a unit for susan ...
self explain to susan and told susan is a useful device
susan accepted my gift
on the other hand susan mentioned she has got a subway voucher
susan says let go for lunch today...
self smile...smile from the bottom of my heart ...
ok..let go lunch together and we shall discuss further then...
self back to work and at 2pm sharp self down to subway
short while susan came...then place order and we have lunch together..
self explain how the unit works and is a useful device for susan
susan so beautiful...if ONLY time stays....
susan shows me her driving license and self notice is 13...susan birthday date
self told susan , susan you are 13 and self is 3...we both got 3....
at the same time self ask if susan is available for lunch on my birthday...
susan accepted my invitation...self very happy...
notice susan hand got blue black bruises...what happened..
is it that someone bully susan self ask...if yes...I will come protect susan
susan says no..she by accident knock on carton boxes..
ok then....but make sure no one bully susan....
self will definitely come to protect and help susan...I WILL FOR SUSAN ONLY

sun 26/10/14
nothing much for the day
self run weekend errand
then at evening sat down with wahab and xx
objective to discuss how we can help wahab

sat 25/10/14
self busy as self at XXX fiesta
event that comes once a year only..
scroll thru and fond something useful for susan
hence bought it as a gift for susan..
well in mind ONLY susan..

fri 24/10/14
finally the day is here
self went over during lunch break
short chat with susan
told susan self might go dharma uni..
susan mentioned is good..good for self...
well self heed advise...but can self go..
self will definitely miss susan much when far away...
told susan self will be at fiesta over the weekend
if any items susan need or interested can whatspp self
self know susan wont coz susan is not a materialistic person

thur 23/10/14
susan on leave
self was busy with work too...
lucky due to work load else self will miss susan much

wed 22/10/14
despite public holiday self have to work
busy busy and busy with work
susan on leave today and tomorrow as well

tue 21/10/14
self at work...busy...

mon 20/10/14
lunch date with susan
only me and susan ...lunch date at the XXX
we chat and have our lunch..
susan is so pretty...
if only time maintain...
told susan I will be there to help..
I wont let her out there alone in doubt...I will safe susan..

sun 19/10/14
errand day for 9uncle and oug team
oh gosh...what a day...

sat 18/10/14
cycling at brother Kenneth place
I was early...reach brother's home at 7am
none wakeup yet...ops self too early
then went for cycling...well enjoyable
then self drive to usj to buy lemon roll for susan
then self make an effort drive all the way to town for susan
finally saw susan ...guess what
susan mentioned...today so handsome...
self smile...susan smile...
then pass the lemon roll to susan and gang to enjoy
susan is so beautiful...red cheek...self melt...

fri 17/10/14
finally after a week self have the chance to see susan
susan is so beautiful...
we have a short chat...her smile melts me..
told susan I just came back today.
busy with work...unable to have lunch together
susan says she is busy too...
ok then set to Monday...ok....

thur 16/10/14
self on leave to run errands..
pick up steven and to send him to clinic
pity steven....red patches all over body..
then to send XXXX DRP...
then head home for self maintenance
coz tomorrow is the day I am looking forward to..

wed 15/10/14
susan on leave today
hence self just walk around other floor
then turn down to Susan's floor
surprise to know susan is working...
why...didn't susan goes on leave..
self dare not go near...peep and go..

tue 14/10/14
what a continue boring day
no work...waste time idling around...
self miss susan much

mon 13/10/14
finally self choose not to attend the training
hesitate due to location
hence stay back in office for daily routine
what a boring day...no work..
worst still is unable to go over for susan..
gosh !!! what a day...

sun 12/10/14
needn't go brother's Kenneth house
Brandon is not at bro's house.
hence self running weekly supermarket errand...
nothing much for the day...
at night have thoughts whether to attend training or not...
wanted to go but the location makes self hesitate...
to go or not to go!!!

sat 11/10/14
despite sat self still up at 5am...
on errand....send stuffs to sis...
then to brother Kenneth's house...
guide Brandon on his studies...
then back to town and to XXX to exchange back car with 9uncle...
massive jam everywhere...
suddenly self phone rang...ops is miss call from susan
is 2 miss call in fact...something not right ...susan is important to self...
hence self stop aside and return call.
understand susan have some hiccups. Need some documents...
self will help but susan finally told me she can manage it...
susan will call if really need help...
self was nervous for susan...can susan do it...can she...
self will help..hence decided to park at XXX ....
took train to XXX to meet up with susan to help susan..
in mind and heart...susan please wait for me...I am coming to help
finally self arrive...look thru..no sign of susan...
self call susan asking where is she...I am here to help...
susan says she is done...at LG heading home..
self told susan I am here already...since susan left self goes off...
susan ask to wait at XXX.....self waited....
finally susan is here....wow...SUSAN IS SO BEAUTIFUL..
susan thank and signal loyal to me and invited self for lunch...
as self not in good appearance self rejected it...
worth it???? YES.....
NO MATTER WHERE AND WHEN I WILL HELP SUSAN
susan is fortunate having a friend like self...
I doubt others can do the same as what I does for susan....


fri 10/10/14
self went rather late to see susan...
MUST meet up with susan...
else is long gap self unable to see susan..
self told susan self just back to MBC for work today..
being send over to XXX for work...
self also ask if information gather for susan on XXX is ok...
susan answer yes...is ok...susan THANKS me...
guess what susan ask me to eat at 2pm...lunch together with her...
self smile from the bottom of my heart...self agree...
but after some thought self have to reject offer..SIGH...
coz self told colleague self stay back for lunch...home early..
hence have to stick to words...
I AM SORRY SUSAN...self wanted much to lunch with susan
SAD SELF have no choice but to cancel lunch with susan...
at night send good wishes to susan
hope things goes smoothly for susan tomorrow...

thur 09/10/14
self wanted much to go see susan..
but today is not the right timing...
self saw susan at entrance but ...
self have no choice but to avoid susan for today
self behave...promise brother Kenneth..
self will wait for tomorrow to meet up with susan...

wed 08/10/14
work as per normal..
susan on leave I guess...
grand lunch invitation from boss
lunch at XXX.....wow so much of good food....
OMG my blood pressure, cholesterol and calories !!!

tue 07/10/14
today self being transport away...
far from normal working place...
thanks to XXX for transport...
self reluctant to be far away but no choice...is work..
since far away...unable to enjoy my daily food...
self was dirt hungry...gosh!!!!
miss susan even much....self is far away today...

mon 06/10/14
thanks as today is a public holiday...
can rest slightly more...but errands still on...
morning turn up to guide Brandon on his studies...
then back home to complete house chores..
tired ....but mind is even more tired....
coz I am missing someone much..

sun 05/10/14
just a few hours rest self have to get up again
to send 9uncle to airport for his HK trip...
while driving to airport self really tired...
mind already fall asleep but self keep pinching self
self have to stay awake....people's life in my hand..
THANK GOD safe arrival at KLIA
self run errand and rest early tonight...
thanks to tomorrow is a public holiday self can rest longer...
brother Kenneth did invite to come but self just too tired..
self need rest...sorry brother Kenneth...can't come...

sat 04/10/14
whole day at brother Kenneth's place..
self was extremely tired...
coz awake at 4am to do laundry
then time spend at brother Kenneth's house till 10pm...
mission is to help Brandon with his studies...
cold day....long life rain...self freezing cold...
self know self turn pale...and intermittent P too...
weak self already...really weak
oh what a day...long life rain...and tired self...
worth it????
well only susan and brother Kenneth self will sacrifice...

fri 03/10/14
self told colleague self arrive late
will try best to be in for work before 11am...
hence quickly self run errand for susan...
is a mad rush...WORTH IT???
finally is lunch break...self went over to pass info
information which self gather this morning for susan
i guess susan is fortunate having a friend like me
but i doubt susan appreciate self...i doubt....
is self the naïve one....

thur 02/10/14
susan on leave today to run her errands...
self whatspp susan early morning wishing susan
wishing susan process went smoothly
at night without self notice susan sms self
sms to inform there is some hiccups....ic problem
as self finding words to comfort susan....susan calls me..
surprise surprise...susan hardly call self ...but today...
ok noted susan conversation....self will assist..
self have mission ....to help susan...sleepness night
how to go about it....plan and plan....sleepness night...

wed 01/10/14
the day self being waiting for is finally here
well is being months self didn't have lunch with susan
the last if recall correctly is old town..or subway...
around time susan sms self mentioning we shall meet at XXX
self reply noted...short wait and finally susan is here..
we have vegetarian lunch...
so during lunch break self explain the steps required
and also how to fill up the form
guess susan understand....
susan is so beautiful...if only time stays...
guess what...susan shows me her cellphone containing my photos..
arhmmm....looks like susan do have a heart for self...
rainy season self bought a golf version umbrella just for susan
but as usual susan will hurt self...
susan plan to give away the umbrella to someone else...
argh...hurt....please dun give it away.....is specially bought for u, susan...

tue 30/09/14
self reported EL
but the actual reason behind is to run errand..
not self errand but errand for susan
well is it worth it??
self to XXX at  XXX and XXX to gather info for susan
also at the same time to do self maintenance
tomorrow...ahmm...big day...
lunch date with susan...

mon 29/09/14
at work self was super busy...omega
self on and off for omega
late for lunch break...but looks like timing is right for self
self went over to meet up with susan
to confirm our lunch appointment on the 01/10/14
short chat with susan
told susan today self exam...I guess I am the loser
unable to answer and the first one who walk out from the exam hall...
well no response from susan..
susan is so beautiful...

sun 28/09/14
no cycling this week...brother cant make it...
hence self run errand...
wanted much to town to give some stuffs to susan
but after brother advise on Friday 26/09 self awake....
dun disturb susan much...treat as normal friend...
too much gifts from self will scare susan away...
I dun want susan to be far away or we separated far apart...
hence trip to town cancel...
have a coffee chat with brother as brother drop by to collect Brandon's revision book..

sat 27/09/14
self have no vehicle this morning and unable to go cycling..
oh what a waste...slightly sad...unable to cycle with brother and Brandon...
is ok...self run errand then...
notice both wahab and mkbm around...
miss wahab hence board MKBM to town to collect yellow buddy back...
subsequently the day spend running errand for 9uncle...
self pity seeing  9uncle driving all the way to pick stuffs...
hence self agreed and assist 9 uncle to run errand on his behalf...

fri 26/09/14
should I go over...coz I went over yesterday...
but is Friday...longer break time...
finally self went over...
as usual lots of looks from idiot eyes starring at self...
self ignore or take no notice...
my target is only SUSAN...she the CHOSEN one..
susan busy hence self left ...no disturb...
self in doubt....how...should I attend brother Kenneth dinner invitation
finally self have to go...coz brother came all the way from JB..
all the way from JB to fetch me to brother's house for dinner...
IN APPRECIATION brother.....
despite tired brother have to send self home too..Brother I am sorry...
REALLY APPRECIATE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE FOR ME!!!THANKS...

thur 25/09/14
self went over during lunch time.....
inform susan self will help...
I will guide susan how to fill up the form...
coincident starbuck opens today at mbc..
self ask if susan interested in the merchandise or a cup of coffee...
do let me know...self got discount...

wed 24/09/14
susan on leave..
notice frequent sign in
but self dare not dream...is never to self despite such frequent...
self home and notice susan whatspp self with 7 messages...
haha...the frequent is to self ....self smile...
susan asking how to fill up vehicle transfer form...
ops...self not clear ...in doubt
but self will browse for further info to assist susan..
I guarantee will help...I will susan...only for susan...

tues 23/09/14
self reported mc...
self tired and need to run errands...
send yellow buddy to repair...
yellow buddy injured due to self carelessness..
also run other long pending errand at the same time...
ops self out from sports shop and saw MKBM...
MKBM notice self come out from sport shop...sharp view
self board MKBM and home safely...

mon 22/09/14
self look smart...
new business shirt and smart haircut
as usual self eager for lunch break
self went over to chat with susan
susan notice self wear new business shirt...she knows..
told susan self won in cycling...
self won a bottle of wine...red wine...
would susan be interested...self can gave her...
susan reply no...keep to yourself susan mentioned...
ok noted...self will drink it...
told susan self a good drinker....laugh....
susan so beautiful....self melt

sun 21/09/14
up as usual despite sunday...
cycling with brother and Brandon..
starts as early as 7.30am...
well is a good one...we all enjoy...
THANKS....

sat 20/09/14
cycling with brother Kenneth and Brandon...
is a far one....good exercise...
80% of the day with brother...cycling/dessert chat/monopoly
but despite that self mind still only susan...
if only susan join in...


fri 12/09/14 - fri 19/09/14
missing....self busy


thu 11/09/14
training day 2
is a self volunteer attend training..
learn more...

wed 10/09/14
susan on leave
self on training
volunteer to attend to learn more

tue 09/09/14
self got lots of work to complete
hence, why no stay back..
also stay for susan perhaps...
is being some time since self back with susan...
as usual planning...left 7pm..
train after train yet no sign of susan....
self will wait...
finally susan is here...self let susan walk first...
then self catch up with susan...
self have fear...should I acknowledge susan
finally self call out : friend...
susan look upon...2 sentence chat and self stand aside...
susan train is here first...susan walk to the last coach
will walking to the last coach susan signal loyal...
self smile...smile in heart...susan still remember my signal..
well...worth the stay...I guess...
smile in sleep too...due to the loyal signal..

mon 08/09/14
back to work after self on compulsory leave...
and what a coincident...Monday morning training
while attending training....got incoming sms...
who so early...yahoo...is susan...
susan sms self informing she has bought me breakfast...
self reply thanks but unable to come now
cos attending meeting cum training...come lunch...
self eager for lunch break.....and finally is lunch time...
self went over and susan saw me coming...
susan stop me and ask to wait far away as her boss is around...
self reply ok...susan pass me breakfast and a piece of mooncake
self THANKS susan much and wish susan happy mooncake festival
as the same time brother Kenneth also invited self to house for celebration
as self was tried and too far self rejected offer...
susan and brother Kenneth happy mooncake festival....

sun 07/09/14
notice susan didn't sign on until late 10am++
working or not...cos self need to deliver some goodies to susan
as susan sign on at 10am+++ this might indicates susan is working..
self get ready and to XXX
upon entrance saw susan already but susan take no notice of self...
susan busy on phone...hence self walk away first...
then drop by susan workstation..
self deliver the spore goodies to susan
as usual susan reject and never appreciate it...
is ok...I am use to rejection and no appreciation...
heads down self went off and head to office then to temple
unnoticeable and later found that susan sms self to THANK me....self smile
lucky the afternoon to evening have brother Kenneth and Lydia to accompany self
self, brother and Lydia have advance mooncake festival celebration...
thanks brother...for your support and time...
I am loss...susan NEVER appreciate self...SIGH!!!!

sat 06/09/14
self whatspp some spore photos to susan
also informed self home today...will speed home
as usual and nothing special...single reply..."SAFELY"
what the hell...why to self is single reply...
conso for self for the day is wahab and MKBM
my long miss u45 friend...
pity to know MKBM running full shift...

fri 05/09/14
pack and ready to back to kl...
on the way back self slightly tired..
reach kl safely...
THANK GOD FOR BLESSING OUR DRIVING TRIP FROM KL_JB_SPORE_JB_KL
THANK GOD FOR EVERTHING...
have wifi access...of course top priority is susan...
as predicted self will have no messages...true...
self is unwanted stuff or land grass to susan..

thu 04/09/14
run errand...final day in spore..
last minute found that self needed item was all sold out..
what the hell...no choice...
then back to jb empty handed...
rest well and off to kl tomorrow..

wed 03/09/14
up early...then breakfast...
next to enter Spore...
overnight in Spore...self worry about yellow buddy...
hope yellow buddy will be safe in college parking...
may god bless...yellow buddy safety...
overnight in spore...have wifi access....
whatspp susan....as usual single reply from susan...
honest...I still miss susan much...

tue 02/09/14
self sleepness night...
rather worried too coz self the driver...must rest well...
up as early as 4am..do needful...
ready to leave for KL-JB-Spore @ 5.30am
self drive all the way to JB. Reach JB @ 10.20am..
check in and off to Spore...
run errand at Spore and back to JB...
oh what a tiring day...
self hot temper. Unable to control...
scolded 9uncle....APOLOGIES....DUN MEAN IT...

mon 01/09/14
notice susan can online for half an hour...
can be a long chat with others..
but when is self single reply and good night...
why???? self have to let go...
self promise god and brother Kenneth
no further thought on susan
we can ONLY be friend.....
NOTHING MORE THAN THAT
I value and treasure susan but I am getting the reverse response...
susan treats me like grass...no value grass....SIGH !!!!

sun 31/08/14
national day...self run errands...
plan to sms susan but no point..
do not disturb....susan hates me...
dun you know susan is avoiding me..
hence no point...leave susan alone..
she is married...

sat 30/08/14
self pack and went over to say goodbye to susan
susan is bsuy with event..
notice susan is extra good to others and can snap photo together
but when come to self...susan rejected it...cold to self...why??
my final goodbye to susan...self will be away to Singapore/JB for a week
at night sms susan to let her know my safe arrival...
what the hell....single alphabet reply...just "K".

fri 29/08/14
finally is Friday...well self dislike it...coz weekend is dull now
self visited susan at warehouse event
self told susan self will be away the whole of next week
self being send to Singapore for training cum working
leaving either tomorrow or sunday
susan is so beautiful...self reluctant to go but have to...
we are friend...nothing much...

thur 28/08/14
self monitor susan from my floor...
saw susan heading to work...
she is indeed beautiful....HONEST...
self saw her a warehouse self arranging stuffs...
self dare not go near....peep and go...

wed 27/08/14
self bought a box of rather unique design mooncake
is from one of the well known hotel...
mooncake for mum consumption or to be given to susan
top priority is mum...should regard mum first
plan to get another one for susan but not much choices left
hence forget about it...coz susan might reject it...no point

tue 26/08/14
mooncake promo at bank
cheap and very outstanding design from certain well known hotel
collected brochure and plan to pass to susan if she is interested
went to susan workstation twice but no sign of susan
heads down and head home...

mon 25/08/14
self was busy assisting bosses with omega setup
hence, miss susan call....is a miss call and miss sms
as courtesy self call susan back
susan ask is it convenient to come down at 9.35am to collect the something
self answer ok..self scare of what is the "something"
fear but have to face it...
self go down early and wait for susan...
oh...what a day...drizzling the whole morning..
does this have any signal or meaning.....honestly self scare
finally susan is here...susan ask how am I and pass me the "something"
self took it and thanks susan...
on way back to bank self look at the "something"
wow is a m&m toy car....susan knows what I like...she does...
very nice and unique m&m toy car....I like it...
together with the m&m toy car is two bottle of oilment
thank susan...THANK GOD...
I was so scare but later calm down...THANK GOD...

sun 24/08/14
self need to go back to bank to complete work..
as usual have to sit next to window to monitor susan
train after train yet no sign of susan
neither is cross bridge...no susan...
well, since no sign do sit down and concentrate on work
surprise at night received whatspp message from susan..
whatspp message she has got something for me..
self tremble and turn pale...
is she returning all those given stuffs back to me...self scare
self sms brother Kenneth for help but no reply...
self have to face it....pray hard is the only solution...
sleepness night...why...what is the something!!!

sat 23/08/14
as usual weekend self help out at ss2
susan frequent sign on but nothing to self...as expected.
self invited brother Kenneth over to ss2 for lunch...
sigh...self still miss susan much...

fri 22/08/14
4th uncle seng kit gone for good..
cremation day...sad...self did cry...
noticed Susan's frequent sign on to whatspp..
but nil message to self....expected......
self is invisible to susan....sigh!!!

thur 21/08/14
self understand susan reply after translation
susan is on leave for few days...
self turn pale and tremble...
crack relations means crack....
self been dragging on this 2 weeks...
susan pity self injured ...hence getting sms from susan
sms asking condition...else is silence...
looks like self being cheating self...
susan pity self...not sincere...
coz nowadays susan on leave self was not informed...
self tremble and sick....sleepless night...why....

wed 20/08/14
sogo on fire trial run
self slightly worry for susan safety...
hence sms susan to ask condition...
but self know susan is off today...hence susan is safe...
susan did reply this round but slightly late...
susan mentioned she is ok as she is on leave...
looks ok...temporary coz didn't understand reply completely...
also at night have to attend uncle seng kit's chanting..

tue 19/08/14
monitor and saw susan from my floor
this is enough...
no point going over...susan hates seeing me...
sad news...4th uncle seng kit pass away...

mon 18/08/14
look forward to today...
no matter know...must monitor from my floor for susan
train after train....self monitor...
finally susan is here...susan is late today @ 9.45am...
happy to know brother Kenneth coming but suddenly self turn pale....
brother Kenneth appointment was delay....
sorry brother...my limit is up to 2pm only...
if cross 2pm then needn't come....
coz I need brother to run an errand for me...
finally brother Kenneth arrived around 1.30pm..
brother Kenneth saw me waiting.....honk....and self sit in...
then beg brother Kenneth to help me run an errand...
Please help me deliver this mooncake to susan...please
Brother Kenneth says no point...why...god will punish you...
Yes...I know no point I still have a heart for susan...
god will punish me...for loving someone who is married...
but I have no option....my 1 year with susan is the happiest in my life..
susan have make a massive chance is my life...
please help me brother....please...I beg u...
finally brother Kenneth agree to help me send over the mooncake to susan
susan did sms me mentioned she received it and self was too much...
is not too much....is a small token of appreciation and friendship....
then short talk with brother Kenneth...
listen to advise from brother Kenneth....
ok...heed advise but is really hard for self to let go susan
susan is the chosen one for self....WHY!!!!!


sun 17/08/14
assist at chan's shop till 2.30pm..
off I go...no point...
not happy working with malarvani...
also lots of errands on queue....what the hell!!!!!!
did troubleshooting at 11th aunty house...
then rush home for lunch...dirt hungry...
then rush to jusco for mooncake...
must get it today...Kenneth is coming to office tomorrow...
oh...what a errand day...so tired...

sat 16/08/14
susan sms self...
self happy....Susan's sms is encouragement...
self assisted at chan's shop
self try best to ignore and avoid malarvani...
useless person....only directing.....come on....
self tired with this kind of people..ask for early release @ 5.30pm..

fri 15/08/14
chan's business open...
messy day and was force to stay till 10pm to assist run EOD
what the hell......malarvani please keep your mouth shut!!!
lucky susan sms drop in at 7pm +++ to support me thru...
else I will quarrel and run off.....
THANKS SUSAN....YOUR SMS HAVE SUPPORTED ME INDIRECTLY
Self left around 10.30pm and home by 11pm...
oh gosh...so tired....what the hell!!!!

thur 14/08/14
tell self take it easy...
I sms out just to inform self away...
is not pity that I want from susan...
this is just to please self...so that self can carry on the days...
suddenly around 9am ++ susan sms to ask what happened...
susan even called...
but self still bleeding...self didn't answer susan phone call...
just reply self injured badly....is true...self injured badly by susan..

wed 13/08/14
self on half day...
self think hard...should I sms to inform self accident.
finally I sms to susan....at night sms susan mentioned self on long leave..
long leave from 12/08 till 17/08 due to accident
as usual no reply....should have know...
hence sleepless night and tremble...
why susan so heartless....
self cry...

tue 12/08/14
self on leave...at chan's shop assisting....
both unifi and cctv installation...
technical stuffs .....my interest...
but interest seems to be gone...
mind on susan...why treats me so bad....what happened...

mon 11/08/14
bad day...yellow buddy gets another knock...accident..
during lunch break self still went over pretend nothing happened...
but knowing self ...I cant pretend..
I try best to forgive but failed...
I invited susan for raya open house with cool temper...
susan knew it....self was cool compare to the rest of the days...
as courtesy still invite even though knowing susan will reject...
due to workload self have to stay till 7pm...
self waited and waited....is a hidden wait....
finally susan came...self slowly walk up...
self ack and stand aside far away....self hurt...self avoid...
susan knew I am cool to her today...
susan train is here and susan get sitted...
susan ack and waive goodbye and so do self...
self hurt....due to Susan's act....
try to be gentlemen but failed....susan really hurts me badly

sun 10/08/14
self need to be back to bank to complete some task
some slides to complete...
well drop off bag and straight to windows....
why.....objective is susan...I cant miss susan
self bring all work and sit next to the window to work on...
self didn't move away from the window...train after train...
well lucky self was smart...monitor from other angle too...
and true enough saw susan AVOIDING self ...
susan arrived the same time but using cross bridge instead...
Susan's act hurt me so much...why bluff me...
not on running errand as mentioned in sms
self feel so hurt...like being stab on chest with knife...
WHY ...SUSAN....WHAT HAPPENED....
I apologise if I hurt you...please dun avoid me....

sat 09/08/14
today main person is wahab
have bought some goodies to reward wahab
wahab deserves to be rewards...he is good and responsible
the one and only ....applause to wahab
next key person is 9uncle...
need to troubleshoot his long pending tm internet problem
finally is solved and get yellow buddy back home...

fri 08/08/14
self forgive ...be a gentlemen..
also would like to invite susan for open house
self know the answer is no but as courtesy self still invite
hence went over but susan not around
according to colleague she came and left...stomach upset
self wanted much to send regards via sms
but for sure no reply hence did not sms
just pray hard to god may susan recover fast...

thur 07/08/14
self on running errands at miss chan shop...
physical body is there running errand but mind on susan
why susan treat me so bad and nasty!!! WHY!!!!

wed 06/08/14
susan off day..
nothing special

tue 05/08/14
saw susan from my floor
susan is heading to bank...why!!!
must be to canteen for breakfast
dam idiot stupid self run down to canteen for a chance
true indeed susan is there...queuing for drink
self ack susan and hi bye and blast off
no point susan hates self much....

mon 04/08/14
without fail brother Kenneth turn up for self...
self was happy that brother Kenneth helps...
but on the other hand self still internal bleeding..susan why???
expose everything about me and susan to brother Kenneth
oh gosh!!! what a shame of self....
after work self did turn up for susan
told susan self home early today coz got entertainment tonight...
actually is not...self injured...crying blood....
susan why must you do this to me!!!why!!!

sun 03/08/14
self locked self up..
why such an sms from susan
notice susan sign on to whatspp many times since morning
is online but no typing...
wonder is susan online for self or what
but doubt so...susan hates me....
self CRY and unable to focus...and heart pain all over....
is it something I say or something wrong I did to susan
why such an outcome....
CRY !!! INTERNAL BLEEDING!!!!
Only brother Kenneth support me thru...
THANKS ....

sat 02/08/14
get to know lots more about u45 gang (wahab and mkbm)
info obtained from toon yin sis...
well is so unfair to wahab...
wahab i will be extra good to you...
GOD knows and have eyes...WAHAB will be reward accordingly...
self board mkbm back...
wish mkbm selamat hari raya and mkbm thanks me...
towards home self went to front and have a short chat...
well mkbm and wahab to support me to carry on..
self received nasty sms from susan...
I GUESS IS THE END OF OUR RELATIONSHIP....
sms to inform now every sunday i will be late...dun wait....
well is just reasons to avoid self...
self was so sad and cry....being stab right to the heart...
SORRY SUSAN....IS THE END I GUESS...

fri 01/08/14
self drop by office to complete needful and goes off..
meeting up with aric of hume - the cctv friend of mine..
well is being years (roughly 5 years) since self contacted aric...
good to get in touch back...
went to a few site visit with aric...enjoyable and learning...
but mind still missing susan..
whatapp susan to ask how is she
but as expected no reply....

thur 31/07/14
self wanted much to go over..but !!!!
in fact i went but avoid supermarket section...
self waited in hope there will be sms or whatspp
but end up with ZERO...
SAD SELF. SELF CRY WHILE SLEEPING!!!

wed 30/07/14
self back to work...
but seeking half day coz have to assist on pos system
self in a hurry and i managed to arrive on the dot which is 2pm
what the fuck once more....is being delay to 3pm..
gosh...all the rushing and end up like this....wasted...
no susan ...i guess susan is still on leave...

tue 29/07/14
got 2 simultaneous invitation...
from brother Kenneth and 9uncle - hira's open house..
pity 9uncle hence let go brother Kenneth invitation.
self was helping 9uncle but nothing goes smooth..
hiccups everwhere...what the fuck!!!!
nothing smooth without susan...
wonder what is susan doing...self miss susan much...

mon 28/07/14
is raya day one..
my respect to wahab and u48 uncle...
both of them working on raya itself...
MY SALUTATION....
no sign of MKBM....
Anyway u45 team...selamat hari raya...

sun 27/07/14
self on running errands...
well good too...at least can forgot about susan for a while...
but cant deny my heart still towards susan ONLY...
why must susan avoid me...self hurt

sat 26/07/14
bad mood which carry forward from yesterday event
frankly susan hurt me badly this time...
the sentence really hurt....self cry....
during the day self saw susan upload her photo in whatsapp
susan is so beautiful which I cant cheat myself...
received night sms from susan
message says she is busy tomorrow....not free....need not wait..
self burst to tears....susan is avoiding me....
tomorrow is raya eve...majority left....why busy????
self cry in sleep....

fri 25/07/14
self waited long for lunch break...
time to go over to check out for susan
at a glance susan not around ......
ops from back this person looks like susan
turn over and indeed is susan
susan had a haircut...now look extra pretty...
so beautiful...self melt...
we chat and maybe I say something wrong...
I mentioned susan you are pretty...
can I invite you for lunch as today my payday..
answer turn ugly and hurt...
susan ask me don't waste effort to go after her...
self feel like being stab...self hurt....
moody the whole evening and carry forward to next day
why...whats wrong....is it self faith that I have no friend...

thur 24/07/14
self wanted much to visit susan at lunch...
but thought too frequent is no good at times
hence skip seeing susan during lunch break
went to see susan after work instead...
opss...no good....no susan at level 7 and LG too...
no sign on to whatsapp too....
what happened...self starts to worry....
self pray to god to help protect susan....

wed 23/07/14
susan on leave
self normal routine
work and go home...

tue 22/07/14
nothing special.....
visit susan @ lunch break
short chat and go as someone is around susan...
no point chatting...self shy....

mon 21/07/14
at lunch break self visited susan
chat and go....

sun 20/07/14
self have no choice but to let go seeing susan
self need the time to run errands..
meet up with ms chan after xxx years...
help out on certain technical stuffs at her new restaurant....

sat 19/07/14
too much to handle...
work or brother Kenneth one build event or 9uncle or ms chan
finally choose work and then turn over for susan
shark photo session and self manage to capture one too...
at night whatspp photo to susan....cute isn't it...!!!!
told susan wont be able to cycle tomorrow...not well...
but actually self need that time to run errands...
subsequently to visit bro Kenneth at one build event
then rush home to deliver food and car to 9uncle...
ohh....what a day....non stop errands....

fri 18/07/14
self collected breakfast from susan...
lunch break went over too...
too bad self slightly late and miss shark photo session...
but self bought shark wafer as there is promo going on...
in return susan gave me a lot of free shark choc...
too bad cant turn over after work..
coz self need to visit Kenneth at one build event...
meet up with brother Kenneth...
short chat and have dinner and brother Kenneth send me home...

thur 17/07/14
self force self to work despite sick..
no choice as there is heavy workload..
surprise....early sms from susan...
asking how am I.....have I recovered..
self reply.....not yet...
lunch break self wants much to go over
but force to stay back in office as self mentioned self on mc
guess what....SURPRISE.....
susan call me around 6pm...
susan ask how am I .....
we have a short chat....told susan I miss her...
where are you ...how come I came over many times but no sign of you...
susan told me she is at level 7 now....
self ask can I come over to see you...
susan reply yes...why not...
self burst into happiness.....FINALLY....self able to see susan
level after level....finally in level 7...
self finally able to see susan after 8 days of misses....
we chat for a while and susan says she will buy me breakfast tomorrow...
self smile from bottom of my heart.....smile in sleep too..
susan so beautiful....
later found out the susan also whatspp self a voice clip....
THANK GOD....I miss susan much and I guess susan miss self too....

wed 16/07/14
self sick at work..
infected from 9uncle...
at night self sms susan mentioning self on mc
mc since tue 15/07 till thu 17/07
susan reply but self take no notice coz sick
see message the next day and nothing new...
ask to takecare...

tue 15/07/14
is one anniversary I know susan...
remember clearly today I gave susan first gift
also able to get Susan's contact...
but today since is public holiday self stay home
self miss susan much...
if ONLY god can help me!!!!!
please let susan know that I miss her badly
is being a week self didnt see susan...
self wanted to cry....very sad....

mon 14/07/14
I being waiting long for lunch break
finally is the time I can go over to see susan
ops...where is susan...no sign of susan...
self starts to panic...
aisle after aisle but no sign of susan..
understand from Susan's colleague susan at level 7
well if that is the case looks like self needn't turn up once more after work
but what a day...have to complete omega exam
self waited till 7pm...
as usual I will wait for susan awhile...
waited and waited and 2 train have pass yet no sign of susan..
well told self no point waiting...susan might left...and hate seeing me
things just not smooth for the day...SIGH....
ALMOST BURST OUT....
susan I miss you badly....self hurt...but susan will not know...
only self suffering quietly here....CRY IN HEART...

sun 13/07/14
disturb sleep...have to go klia2 to pick up 9uncle
finally after 8/9 months finally 9uncle is back
as self raise from bed self wish susan HAPPY BIRTHDAY
but who knows...only god and self
I miss susan much...HONEST!!!!

sat 12/07/14
self have to run errand...
planning later in the afternoon or early evening go for susan
else I wont be able to see susan until Monday
also to inform I wont be coming tomorrow
but susan is one step faster...
receive sms from susan informing she is on leave today and tomorrow
actually I know the real reason behind...
is Susan's birthday....well susan must be very happy...
enjoying her "happy moments" I guess..
left the naïve kid here waiting....SAD....
the consolation for the day is MKBM...
after months (I guess is close to 5) finally I am back boarding MKBM...

fri 11/07/14
finally is lunch break
self went over but ops...susan not around
susan colleague told me susan is at 7 floor
ok then will come back once more after work
return again after work but still no sign of susan
SAD self...almost cry....head down and home...

thur 10/07/14
self on leave to run errands
submit rights issue and renew insurance and road tax
bidy tired and mind always on susan...

wed 09/07/14
susan on leave
work as normal

tue 08/07/14
self contemplating whether to go or not
finally cant deny for miss for susan
self went to see susan
heart crack and sad when saw susan sitted on floor to do stock count
self squat down wanted to help....but ....how???
finally susan told me she can managed...
fine then....be careful...takek...
self left as not to disturb...
SAD SELF....

mon 07/07/14
ehmmm...lunch date with susan once more
for two consecutive Monday.....self very happy...
susan text me but knowing my mandarin is poor..
hence self went over to see susan personally
also inform susan out there is dark...
I afraid it might rain and our lunch date how
I dun want susan to get wet and .....
on the other hand I dun want to miss lunch with susan
susan told me is ok...she has got umbrella...
ops...when about time to got caught up with boss on omega and etc...
told boss I will come back and do...I have to go for lunch now...
seld run and run ....I am late for lunch date with susan
self waited and peep through but no sign of susan
is late....self have fear susan might left self....
hence self patiently wait ....suddenly saw susan waiving from far..
self smile and cool down.....
susan is late coz she personally add another dish....fried chicken...THANKS
we have lunch together and notice susan is so beautiful...honest...!!!
we finish our lunch early and susan ask if I want to go back...
self answer no...I want to be susan I don't want to go....HONEST SENTENCE...
susan told me so is bored down with stock counting....susan not happy
self try best to cheer up susan.....thumb draw smiling face...
susan smile a bit and ack back my thumb picture...cheers....

sun 06/07/14
self have work to complete
hence told susan self wont be cycling today
but will wait at usual place
susan bought me breakfast...
self ack and thanks susan..
when self go back turn in for susan
but too bad susan not around.....
hence head down and to home...
dun know why self miss susan much tonight...why!!!

sat 05/07/14
self clad new t-shirt....
went over for susan
susan says I look smart...
thanks...smart for susan ONLY..
susan even bought me 2 egg tart...
does susan have a heart for self...

fri 04/07/14
as usual Friday look smart in corporate wear...
told susan I will wear my new t-shirt tomorrow
wear over for susan to have a look...
self also will be good...heed advise...
don't want to eat so much choc...sweet...no good for health..
if self fall sick self wont be able to see susan...
definitely I wont be happy without susan..honest sentence...

thur 03/07/14
self not happy hence went over to see susan...
told susan she can enlighten and cheer up my day
this is a true sentence..
see susan and self will be happy...

wed 02/07/14
susan on leave..
nothing special...
after work...to home...
know that road collapsed at times square
self alert susan via sms and whatsapp
don't go there .....dangerous....

tues 01/07/14
self gave susan the present...
have exchange for a larger size for susan...
she went for wrapping service...my present for susan....
susan accepted it and thanks me...
susan you are welcome.....hope much you like it...
later received sms from susan informing she is back...
ops...what happened....self monitor from my floor...
I miss susan...definitely....