14 damn years in the bank....
so embrassing that i got such a question????
oh...who cares...got prawn at the back of the question....

sunday 29/01/12

time flies...i still remember last week today is chinese new year eve...and still remember clearly its mkbm who was on morning shift..
week past...is day 7 of lunar new year...time for sis and wilson to go home...
never before...i almost burst out but bravely i control self..why..
coz with wilsoon and sis around at least hours and days pass slightly easier and now that they are going back home...
ergh...i realy really HATE sunday...
knowing that tomorrow i am working sickness starts...
silently i ask self...caribee why????what happen to you...
i dun feel like working anymore...no mood...
can i survive without working...!!!!
bravely and with confident i think i can...
so why the stress and headache...
i dun go for branded stuffs, i dun go for holiday, i have simple meal...so why can't i survive..
fear is if fall sick....this "eat money"...spending....
actually i do i want in life???
knowing mkmb is working night shift makes me feel nervous...
nervous as what will happen tomorrow...
this kind of sickness and condition should STOP....

Saturday 28/01/12

surprise...mkbm on morning shift...
well...i go to wn but with hazlee...
mkbm saw us the whole family...but myself not happy...
i can read face reaction...i know mkbm is unhappy too...
so noisy in the bus...but myself keep quiet..
i know i am the star here in mkbm bus...
i always the well manner kid...
alight at front and thank mkbm...
mkbm remain the missing one...
at night pay visit to uncle seng yun...
pity pity pity...was sad to see uncle seng yun condition...
hence at times i think...why long age...
you will suffer...
always told self ...mbkm today we see each other is a blessing already...
we dun know what can happen and seeing each other daily is really really blessing from god...
uncle send yun seems to be weaken...aging....

Wednesday 25/01/12

is the third day of cny today...
i woke up as eraly as 5.30am in order to get ready and able to reached ktm serdang by 7.15am coz i was invited by brother kenneth to his office for business reopen after the short cny break...
i managed to make it on time...thanks..THANK GOD who help me...
wow...lion dance at brother kenneth's office...
after lion dance I was call in by kenneth...received some blessing and was given angpow worth $300..is $300 no joke..
wow....1st time in my life
then proceed to breakfast at papa rich follow by an hour or two for poker game...then off to lunch...
after lunch went to mydin to get some goodies for some orphanage at usj and finally distribution of goodies bag to those orphans...
i almost burst out...pity those kids...
brother kenneth you are so generous and kind...i really salute you..
may god bless you and business growth smoothly in the year of dragon..Brother Kenneth you are the best!!!!!!
actually i have no intention to stay...i thought of telling kenneth that i on half day and off i go after lion dance...coz i really want to be back with mkbm....but seeing the condition there i stay till the end of it...
is worth ...really...is worth...is something different...charity work...and can get to know and open up more...
is 9.20pm now...i have fear...why...
back to work tomorrow...i feel so sick and unstable...why...
i keep asking myself why...i have the fear to go to work...i dislike going to work nowadays...fear in me...
but can i survive without working...how to cover my expenses...
so down which i thought of commit suicide...to end self...
i miss mkbm too...erghh....why so....!!!!

TUESDAY 24/01/12

Is the 2nd day of chinese new year...
got task today as agenda was arrange yesterday night..
agenda is to temple....
taking the 8.15am bus to town...and need to be back early as sis n wilson is back from kelantan today and fear got relatives come for visiting...
8.15am bus...who else..of course is mkbm...
and true indeed is mkbm who is punctual at 8.15am...
mum and i board mkbm and mkbm quote : selamat tahun baru...
my quote : pagi bang...
mum and i alight at maybank and mkbm signal thanks to me...
i signal back and follow mum...walk to the front..
actually mum walk to the front to thank mkbm...
mkbm stood up abit in surprise and thanked us...
hahahaha...is a good trip to town....
at least something different from past years...
on the way to town saw lokman driving u44...
i ask mum if she has an extra angpow for me..co i really want to give an angpow to lokman...lokman deserve it...
mission to temple is accomplished...
pray for smooth career path...good health and safe in out going...
god bless......
ooppsss...not again...myself unstable again...knowing that cny is over and need to be back to work..sickness come...
why this kind of sickness??? pls help me...!!!

monday 23/01/12

is the first day of chinese new year...
happy chinese new year...my wish...of course...smooth career, healthy and wealthy...
nothing special...top priority task for the day is my group of u45 friends....
monitor thru....miss first bus...un know who...second bus is by wahab and final is mkbm...
ok...get ready....wahab came out for the second time...cross over with mum to give angpow and goodies...
wahab wishes us "gong xi fa cai" and thank us...
next one is mkbm....i cross over again...
my quote : bang...ni belanja...raya..ni khas untuk kawan...
mkbm quote : selamat tahun baru...
my quote : thanks...thank you...
i walk back home and mkbm signal thanks and i signal back...
hahahaha...that's my group of friends...
if not wrong mkbm is on full shift today...coz clad on t-shirt...
of course mkbm will received angpow and mandarins from regular customers but i DOUBT none gave much things as i do...
frankly, i am not showing off...i have a tight budget too...low income earning...worse still is zero bonus...
is that i appreciate having a friend like mkbm...someone who gives me hope and encourage me to carry on days...
but why mkbm ...the chosen one...!!! i also dun know why????
maybe is faith...!!!! or i owe this person in my past life...

saturday 21/01/12

mkbm is working today..
i dun feel like boarding mkbm to town and back from town neiither...why the sudden change...despite almost 2 weeks didnt see mkbm..
i miss on purpose .....myself to town with hazlee...
but i would like to be back with mkbm...but can i make it coz long hours at pertama complex...
@ pertama to get a new phone...old phone spoilt...i think i am get a fake unit...guys at pertama complex are CHEATERS!!!!!
knowing self might miss mkbm i went to jusco stop instead and utilised my $5 dollars voucher as well..
just 5 minutes wait came bus and is mkbm....
mkbm smile and greet me selamat tahun baru....
i smile and say thank you...
hahaha...mkbm...thank god...mkbm is still the one...
almost home i walk to the front to have a short chat with mkbm
my quote : isnin nak raya dah...
mkbm quote : balik mana
my quote : tak balik...sini je...
cuti tak dapat...rabu dah kerja dah...
mkbm quote : kenapa cuti tak dapat...
my quote : orang tak cukup...
reached destination....alight...my quote : ok bang...
oh....big drama at home...i finally find that money i the most loyal
sis is real bad...that bitch curse me...
i wouldnt forget today....have less communication with sis...
sis is not worth me helping...no appreciation...
changes to my RM100K distribution...
big portion to mkbm and the reamining to be share among the u45 team like hazlee,wahab,haja and lokman...
tomorrow night is chinese new year eve...yet i am not happy...

tuesday 17/01/12

i am the most innocent...
i being blame for worng figures, input and etc...
but i know i a mnot wrong..
last minutes things are prone to errors..
errors and mistakes everywhere...idiots around just add on task and no sign of helping..idiots...bastards..
the 3B are worst especially the adjacent one...wow...all sort of funny and bad behavouir pattern...
now i see "clearly"...
ah suffers days more and enjoy self...cny around the corner...

sunday 15/01/11

Is sunday an is a week to cny...
is a busy sunday for myself...shop around as cny is next week.
at 8pm saw MKBM back from town...
sad...people are happily enjoying their weekend but mkbm is working...
pity most is wahab...full shift on a sunday...
no wonder whab is so thin...so stress...not easy to work full shift..its tiring...others might not understand but i do...
revision @ home yet to complete...home can struggle thru the week and have a peaceful and relax cny...
may GOD bless and things be smooth and smooth career is the top priority...
mkbm , wahab take k....god bless both of you too...

Saturday 07/01/12

Is finally weekend...i being till neck grow long for weekend..
at first i thought is a good weekend
coz i know mkbm is working morning shift and sogo members' day is on..but things just turn out bad...
family members quarrelling...left with no choice myself board hazlee to town and plan to be back with mkbm
is being a long time almost 10 days i didnt see mkbm...
i count days but doubt mkbm count too..
finally mkbm arrive and myself board bus and wish mkbm selamat tahun baru...
my quote : bang...ni bagi...calender..roll type...
mkbm quote : terima kasih
i get sitted and have thought...
why mkbm on specs...i have plan to look smart and former with specs on for work or back from work with mkbm but mkbm was one step faster than me...
at times i think is it that i have similiar thinking with mkbm or it is a coincident...
mkbm look good in specs too...
along the way back myself silent and look forward...
notice mkbm seldom llok back mirror nowadays...compare those earlier times...
near home at bungalow junction notice mkbm look up mirror...
i get prepare to alight...i didnt walk to front to chat with mkbm as i know self ....stinky self and ugly...
hence alight and mkbm signal thanks and i smile and acknowledge back...

sunday 08/01/12

if those earlier days i would have waste 4 dollars just to go town and to be back with mkbm...
but nowadays things change...have to save some $$$ coz i plan to resign...save for rainy days...
hence stay indoor despite wish to be back with mkbm..
well maybe go cycling or basketball whereby i have the opportunity to see mkbm...
i perform daily routine chores must earlier and went for cycling and basketball..
true indeed mkbm passby but no attention to basketball court..miss
so game continue but without full attention or spirit..
play for no direction coz objective not met...
at 4.30pm saw T0091 bak from town and from mirror driver clad in white tshirt...
if not wrong and i am confident is mkbm ....ha!!! mkbm on full shift...pity pity pity...
this makes me feel bad and in addition to that is weekend which i have the fear and loss direction...
mkbm you will be miss and have a pleasant working weekend...
home early and rest if passengers not alot on weekend...
if ONLY my prayers have eyes,ears and heart...do let mkbm know mkbm got a true and loyal friend that is ME!!!!
i hope mkbm do appreciate me .....

Thursday 05/01/12

I still ok coz i know i am not going to work...
if it is a working day i will go nervous and heart pound fast...
at times i think i am not fit for work anymore
run errand @ kenneth's office and off to groupon office to collect items bought and home..
can i be back with mkbm tiday...i doubt much...
no sign of mkbm ...its being a week or more i didnt see mkbm..
where is mkbm...even hazlee, wahab and haja is missing in action..
those running u45 is all someone new...
what happened...trf or what...
i am used to this group of friends...i dun want changes..i feel comfortable with them...especially with mkbm...
mkbm remain the person i look forward and make my days count..
what if u45 route to stop...can i take this piece of bad news..
i will loss hope and heading nowhere...
erghh....so loss....worse is tomorrow i am working...

Monday 02/01/12

Its second day (2) of yr 2012..erghh...just the 2 day and i feel so bored & useless in life...and there are 363 days more to go...
lucky is public holiday..replacing the first day which falls on sunday...at least another day off...
i have no plan for the day...have to stay indoor to learn and understand my current work...
at the same time i did some monitoring...coz i have to give out the diary and calender to hazlee as i will be away for the rest of the days..off to spore..joining kkf staying @ shanngri-la..
left 2 buses only...is tomato and hazlee..
ok..watch out for hazlee and gave hazlee a desktop calender one which get from brother kenneth office and my pendrive diary..
hazlee is happy and thank me...i smile only....
suddenly mood changed..i dun want to join kkf to spore...
i know i am not happy even i go spore for a short break..
why waste hard earn money and outcome is not happy...cancel trip..
i monitor from evening till night and notice no bus until 8pm there is one ...peep out...is wahab...
oh...wahab is working night shift today...pity wahab who works full shift yesterday...
its 8.30pm...heavy rain...oh...wahab and mkbm (if you are working night shift) please be careful...heavy rain out there...
knowing that self need to go to work tomorrow my sickness arise...
i feel so uneasy....
at times i think can i resign...i can cope with my daily expenses..
i have no children...i dun spend much..i never go for good food...luxury items or expensive holiday...
if i pass away hard earn money will go to someone and this people wil spend and NEVER cares those bad and hard pass day i went thru...
resigned...but is it too early...i m just 40...
mental problem....headache...

Sunday 01/01/12

HAPPY NEW YEAR...Its 2012...
Hope this is a better year for self in terms of work...
hope my wish be granted...i being sacrificing my weekend to learn..
no where to go...as usual back to office to do email housekeeping and did some printing for exercise use...
its sunday and the first bus it heading to town @ 6.45am...
that early...in mind i should known is wahab...
only wahab is that early...follow by hazlee and last is tomato..
mkbm...if not wrong is night shift replacing hazlee...
i saw someone in tshirt...but cant confirm is mkbm...
anyway HAPPY NEW YEAR to all my friends..
sitting on top of my wish list from the bottom of my heart is brother kenneth and second is mkbm
friends...in fact i dun have any...
is so realistic....i didnt get any new year sms..except one from nancy...see...so real...is me who initiate else result is a no...no.